Serious Relationship: Things To Know Before Mutual Commitment

Keep these tips in mind and ask the important questions before taking the leap.

Reviewed by Dr Nancy B Irwin, PsyD
By Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Finding someone keen to invest in a serious relationship with isn’t easy these days. It seems like no one is interested in settling down with a single person or putting in the effort to make a relationship work. They are out the door at the first sign of conflict. Our generation is more into casual dating, hookups, and flings. Gone are the days when people used to love someone and settle down with them. What’s more? You may even lose your partner these days if you talk about serious relationships.

However, there is no particular time or age to get into a serious relationship. Every person’s timeline is different, and you should think carefully about serious relationships when you are ready to settle down. It requires effort, patience, and much more for a relationship to be successful. In this article, we discuss various facets of a serious relationship. Read on.

What Is A Serious Relationship?

What is a serious relationship

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A relationship is where you have imagined your future together with your partner. You want to settle down, get married, live in the same house, and have kids or pets together. It is a state of mutual commitment, where you are in the relationship for each other’s emotional needs. A serious relationship is one in which you want to make it permanent that you are for them and they are there for you. It is a relationship based on faith and is more than mere partnership or dating – it is a commitment towards each other and the relationship itself.

The Universe gives you signs – they are the answers to your inner questions. Sometimes, these signs can slap you awake like, “Look here, don’t be an idiot!” or “What you are doing is right, don’t lose it.” Here are a few signs that will help you identify whether you are ready to take your relationship to the next step.

Signs You Are In A Serious Relationship

Signs you are in a serious relationship

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  1. You spend a lot of time together and are comfortable with the meaningful silences.
  2. You trust each other, are with each other, and for each other.
  3. You two work well together and around each other.
  4. You are ready to commit to each other for a lifetime.
  5. You don’t wear a mask around them and feel free to be your authentic self.
  6. You have met each other’s family and have formed a bond with them too.
  7. You have found the partner you wished for.
  8. Do not let your ego win your fights. Choose to be honest and respectful versus being right.
  9. You don’t feel pressured into anything with them.
  10. You help each other grow into your better selves.
  11. You understand your responsibilities and take care of each other.
  12. You know each other’s biggest fears.
  13. You don’t feel the need to spy on them.
  14. You want to spend all your free time together.
  15. You have lived at each other’s place and have your things at their house.
  16. You prefer staying in with each other.
  17. Your conversations are more about ‘we’ than ‘I’.
  18. You know they are a part of your future.
  19. You are trying to build the relationship to last long.

There are times when you like a person so much that you just want to stay with them forever. However, the only thing you should keep in mind before saying ‘I do’ is to ask yourself a few questions. The following questions will help you get a peek into the real personality of your partner and decide if your bond is mature enough to leap into a serious relationship.

Questions To Ask Before Getting Into A Serious Relationship

  1. What are your expectations from the relationship?
  2. What future do you see of the relationship?
  3. Are there any secrets yet to be revealed to the other party?
  4. What kind of partner do you want?
  5. Are you willing to take risks for each other and the relationship?
  6. What do you consider cheating?
  7. How do you deal with difficult situations?
  8. How do you deal with relationship stress?
  9. Why did your last relationship end?
  10. Among your friends and family, whose relationship do you admire the most and why?
  11. What do you value the most in the relationship?
  12. Kids – from the expenses and how many kids you want to your parenting style – are these topics discussed?
  13. What are each of your top priorities?
  14. Do you both discuss everything and anything about your sex life?
  15. What are your religious beliefs? Do they clash, or can you make it work?
  16. Have you discussed your financial situation?
  17. Are you both open to relationship counseling?
  18. Are you ready to live together forever?
  19. Do you know each other’s likes, dislikes, and cravings?
  20. Lastly, do you have each other’s back, no matter what?

There are various ways to make your bond stronger and a relationship successful. Most of the time, these are the simplest things you should be doing to each other. Check out our tips in the following section if you plan to move forward towards a serious relationship.

Tips To Maintain A Serious Relationship

Tips to maintain a serious relationship

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  1. Define the relationship in clear terms.
  2. Go for dates now and then.
  3. Be honest and have open communication with each other.
  4. Share your thoughts and feelings clearly.
  5. Do not play the blame game.
  6. Spice things up once in a while – flirt with them and try out new things.
  7. When you feel a shift in your views, talk about it to your partner.
  8. Do not let your ego win your fights.
  9. Follow a few rituals that are unique to the two of you.
  10. Don’t feel shy to communicate yourself vulnerably to each other.
  11. Keep realistic expectations, and don’t get disappointed if your partner isn’t everything you want them to be.
  12. Show interest in your partner’s experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests.
  13. Keep yourself open to healthy relationship changes.
  14. Apologize if you have done something wrong and take responsibility for your mistakes – it will go a long way in setting things right.

From fear of commitment to mere disinterest in long-lasting connections, why people choose not to get in a serious relationship can be many. It is an individual’s decision whether they prefer to stay single or include a romantic companion in their life. If you are content with your life and aren’t ready to give up your emotional freedom, communicate this to your partner and reach a healthy outcome with mutual understanding.

When You Don’t Want To Get Into A Serious Relationship

If you are debating whether it is worth getting into a serious relationship or not, it is a clear sign that you are not ready for a serious relationship. Another sign is when you feel anxious or edgy while thinking or talking about committing to one person or settling down with them. Being uncomfortable or feeling stuffy with someone shows you are not meant to be with them.

Though your natural reaction is ignoring or ghosting them, it is not a healthy way to go about it. Instead, talk about your concerns with your partner openly. Explain to them why you don’t want to settle into a serious relationship. Any reason is a reason enough – you are not comfortable with them, or you are not ready to settle down. That’s better than ignoring them completely and leaving with an unpleasant memory.

A serious relationship requires a significant amount of time and effort to flourish. A couple in this relationship should make sure there is clear understanding and communication between them. So, if you are planning to be in this relationship, make sure you are certain about what you want and are ready to commit. Then, go on dates with your partner and get to know each other better. Jumping immediately into a committed relationship will have negative consequences. Instead, build trust between you and give each other ample personal space.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you show someone you’re serious?

To show that you are serious about someone, communicate with them, show them love, care, and attention, be a good listener, and support them. The point is to provide them emotional security and let them know they can rely on you.

Key Takeaways

  • A serious relationship is a state of mutual commitment where you want to settle down, get married or commit to an exclusive relationship, live in the same house, and be a family together.
  • You should think about serious relationships when you are ready to settle down and have found the person you want to settle down with.
  •  It requires effort, patience, and commitment for a relationship to be successful.

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Dr Nancy B Irwin

(PsyD)
Originally from Atlanta, Dr. Nancy Irwin graduated from UWG in 1977 with a Bachelor of Music in Opera Performance. She... more

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