21 Subtle Signs Your Ex Might Want To Get Back Together

Learn to decipher the hints yet not fall into the same vicious trap again.

Reviewed by Roma Williams, LMFT Roma Williams Roma WilliamsLMFT facebook_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Asmita De MA (English) Experience: 3 years
Fact-checked by , BSc Reshma Latif BSc Experience: 5 years

When a relationship ends, you may go through a lot of pain. A breakup can cause a mix of emotions like anger, grief, feeling of betrayal, and confusion. While it is hard to forget the past and move on, what if you notice signs your ex wants you back? How can you know if your ex misses you? They may drop a text, ask you for some help, or also make an attempt to stay in touch. But how can you know for sure if they want a reconciliation?

These 21 signs can help you understand if your ex genuinely wants you to come back. Take a look.

21 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

1. They Make Attempts To Stay In Touch

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If your ex still makes sure to message or call you to see how you are doing, it could be a sign that they miss you. While it is always a good idea to have your own space right after a breakup, your ex’s constant attempts to be in touch with you show that they care and have not moved on.

If they keep contacting you to have a proper conversation about what is going on in your life and are genuinely interested in what you have to say, it is a sign that your ex wants you back.

2. They Keep You Updated

Did your ex text you saying they got a new pet? Or call up to discuss that they watched the movie you have always recommended? Do they keep sharing personal details and open up about their life? If yes, the chances are high that they are trying to reconnect with you romantically. Maintaining communication with you even after the breakup means they have not moved on and are thinking about you and want you in their life.

3. They Get And Want To Make You Jealous

If your ex wants to stay friends with you, they would not be affected when they see you have moved on and are dating someone else. Instead, they will be supportive and might wish you well for the future. But if they act or feel jealous, the chances are that they still have feelings for you and may even be hoping to get back together. In his blog, Peter shares the incredible experience of his ex wanting him back, once he got a new girlfriend. Reflecting on the paradoxical nature of human desires, he says, “The less I wanted her, the more she wanted me.(i)”

If your ex is bombarding their social media with their happening life or party nights and pretending to be happy without you, they may be trying to make you jealous. This is one of the main signs that your ex wants to get back together.

4. They Pretend That They Need Your Help

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Reaching out to an ex for some help alone should not be read as a sign that they want to get back with you after a breakup. However, if your ex seems to be coming up with excuses to see you and pretending to ask for help for silly things, confront them and ask them what they want – they might say they missed you a lot and want to get back together.

5. They Keep Bringing Up Your Memories Together

If they find every possible way to talk about the happy memories created together in the past, it might be a sign that your ex wants you back and is dropping hints about it. For instance, if they send you texts, particularly late at night, reminiscing about the good times spent together, it is an indication that you are definitely on their mind. They have not emotionally moved on and got nostalgic.

Apart from this, they would also be eager to share things with you. Whether you need a backup phone, a book, or their car for an emergency trip, they will be eager to help out. This could be their way to make you feel like a couple again.

However, it is completely up to you how close you want them to get. So, think about how you feel while talking about your memories when deciding how to deal with this new dynamic.

6. They Tell You How Far They Have Come

There is nothing wrong when an ex professes how far they have come in life and as a person. However, if they do so by dropping subtle hints, they might be trying to tell you that they have matured, grown into a better person, and are also doing well in all aspects. This could indicate their desire to let you know how they would prove to be a stronger and healthier partner if the relationship were to be rekindled.

7. They Keep Checking With Mutual Friends About Your Well-being

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If your ex is still interested in how you have been doing and keeps checking with your mutual friends for updates, consider it another major sign they might want to reconcile. This is particularly true when you two have been dating for a long time and have a common inner circle of people.

While these close attachments can linger for some time, anyone who has moved on might not want to revisit them. If your ex still maintains contact with your inner circle of people, this means they are having a hard time letting go. Even if they are not explicitly bringing up your name, they are secretly hoping to know more about your whereabouts.

Regardless of what the conversation looks like, if they are persistent in maintaining contact with your loved ones, it is a sign that they want to rekindle the romance.

8. They Acknowledge Their Role In The Breakup

If your ex admits their mistake and acknowledges where they went wrong or why they broke your trust, it might be because they are not yet over the relationship and do not want things to end. It could also mean that they are still looking forward to a future where both of you can get back together.

9. They Still Have Their Belongings At Your Place

If they were to end the relationship, they would have come to get the things they left behind at your place. However, if they haven’t, it could be an excuse to maintain contact with you and not end the relationship completely.

10. They Find Random Excuses To Contact You

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If your ex wants to talk to you and makes random excuses to contact you, it clearly shows their intention of returning to you. You might get weird text messages from them asking for the names of random places you went together or tips on grocery shopping and so on.

The way you react to these messages can tell you how you feel about your ex. You might feel happy to get these texts or annoyed. As a result, it is always good to decide based on how you feel about them after your relationship has ended.

11. They Show Too Much Interest In Your Love Life

Generally, when exes meet, they spend most of the time catching up on big life happenings or remembering the time they spent together, instead of discussing new love interests. But if they show a little too much interest in your love life or about the new person in your life, it might be because they want to figure out how you feel about your new love interest. This could also mean they are trying to find out if they still have a chance of getting back to you.

One of the major signs that your ex wants you back is their harping on the fact that they are single. They never forget to explicitly mention their relationship status during your conversations and texts to show that they are available.

12. They Are Drunk Dialing You

Alcohol is believed to have a way of making you more honest with your emotions and words. So, if your ex is messaging and calling you when they are drunk, they probably want to get back to you. If this happens often, you can be sure that they want you back but cannot tell you when they are sober.

If you are getting drunk texts from your ex with all kinds of lovey-dovey messages, they secretly miss you, and chances are they want you back but are not ready to admit it.

13. They Still Compliment You

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Falling back in love with an ex makes a person develop a soft corner for them. You might often see your ex complimenting you on subtle things. It could be anything from your dress sense, subtle changes in your hairstyle, or unique details about your personality. If they notice and compliment such things, it means they are paying attention to you and still care for you.

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They make jokes about liking you again. However, before they decide to take action, they will need to know your feelings for them. As a result, they will say something about liking you, but in a way that allows them to laugh off any unfavorable reaction you might have.

14. They Are Not Dating Anyone Since You Broke Up

A breakup can be hard, and everybody needs a breather after going through this tough phase. While it is quite tough to immediately move on with a new partner, completely avoiding dating is also a sign of trouble.

If it’s been long since you broke up and your ex has avoided dating anyone ever since, it’s a sign that they still miss you. This generally happens when they have experienced what they consider to be the ideal relationship with you, and it becomes hard for them to put themselves out there for a fresh start. This could also mean that your ex is hoping to rekindle your relationship.

15. They Apologize Too Much

Some people do not take responsibility for their actions, especially after a breakup. They are either indifferent to you or blame you for everything that went wrong in the relationship. But if your partner apologizes and feels guilty about their actions, they probably want to get back together at any cost.

16. They Are Not Happy After The Breakup

An ex who wants you back will show that they are not happy after the breakup
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If your ex is struggling to get back to normal even after a long time, they are probably still thinking about you and are in denial that you have broken up. Some of the indicators that they are not happy could be gloomy social media posts, common friends approaching you and asking to talk to them, or their loved ones are calling you about how much your ex misses you.

If their family or close friends approach you to let you know about how miserable they are without you, there is a possibility that your ex will get back to you if you give them a chance.

17. You Bump Into Them Frequently

The chances of you bumping into your ex are less unless you are in the same college, workplace, or locality. But if your ex is still stuck on you, there is a fair possibility that they will check with your friends about the places you visit or the events you attend.

If you find yourself bumping into your ex a lot, understand that it is likely planned, and maybe they are seeking a way to reconcile. While it is not bad to have similar feelings, it might get complex if you want to get away from them.

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Even though you have broken up, they feel compelled to touch you when they see you. Or maybe they are being a little more discreet about it, but they still manage to touch your thigh or brush your hand against theirs. It is obvious that there is still a connection, and they are probably attempting to reignite the flame that once burned between you two.

18. They Are Working On Themselves A Little Too Much

When they are suddenly adamant about working on themselves, it is a sign that your ex wants to get back together and is focusing on becoming a better person. It also means that they have recognized their mistakes, regret them, and want to make sure not to repeat them.

If there were some issues or mistakes for which they have never apologized to you, your ex may do so now. They will try to address all your concerns and resolve all your complaints or requests you once had when you were together.

19. They Suddenly Bring Up a Future With You In Every Conversation

An ex who wants you back might suddenly bring up a future with you
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This is probably one of the biggest signs that your ex wants to get back together with you. If they keep talking about their future with you, it means they are still hung up on you and want to get back together.

20. They Are All Over Your Social Media

You might have broken up on good terms and kept following each other on social media. However, if you notice that they are all over your social media accounts, the chances are that they want you back.

Unlike the times when you were together with your ex, if you get too many likes, comments on each of your posts, see them checking all your Instagram stories, or see your ex appearing in your notifications constantly, it clearly means that they are trying to connect and want to get back to you.

21. They Ask You For Advice

When an ex asks for advice, it might indicate their interest in rekindling the relationship. However, it is not a definitive sign. Seeking your advice could also simply mean they value your opinion and trust your judgment. Hence, it is essential to assess the context and their intentions. If a request for advice is accompanied by other signs of wanting to reconcile, it could suggest a potential desire to get back together. Consider their behavior, including if there is increased communication and any attempt to reconnect emotionally or express nostalgia for shared memories. An open and honest conversation may be required to avoid misunderstandings and ensure clarity in the relationship dynamics.

Infographic: Dos And Don’ts Of Getting Back Together With Your Ex

Though heartbreaks can turn the love of your life into an ex within a moment, it is possible for some people to get back with their ex and renew old sparks after a long breakup. Your ex may drop subtle signs to make you realize they want you back. But you have to be careful of this decision and consider the reasons for your breakup in the first place.

Thus, check out the infographic below to know the necessary dos and don’ts of getting back together with your ex before you give them another chance.

dos and donts of getting back together with your ex (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Get the high-quality PDF version of this infographic.

Download Infographic in PDF version

While it is never easy to rekindle a romantic relationship, there is nothing wrong with giving your ex another chance if they make a genuine attempt and you still care about them. The signs that your ex wants you back can be subtle, like enquiring about your well-being from mutual friends, trying to keep in touch without overstepping boundaries, asking for help from you, and being all over your social media. First, however, keep in mind how the relationship ended. It will assist you in identifying whether they are only seeking to contact you to relieve their sudden loneliness or whether their efforts are genuine. The essential thing is that you do not put yourself through the same trauma again.

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes an ex come back?

Your ex probably wants to come back because they are feeling lonely, feeling jealous of your new relationship, romanticizing the past, or have realized that they made a mistake by ending things with you.

What to say to make your ex want you back?

Here are a few things you can say to make your ex want you back:
• I think about you all the time.
• I want to apologize for my mistakes.
• I should’ve fought harder and never given up for us.

What are signs that your ex misses you?

If your ex asks your friends about you, views all your social media posts, and brings up memories from the time you dated, then they miss you.

How do you know your ex is thinking about you?

There’s no certain way to know what your ex is thinking, but there might be a lot of “accidental” contact from their side. They might claim to have accidentally called or texted you, or show up at events they do not have an interest in but know you would attend. Their social media behavior like their likes, reactions, views, or forwards, indicate that they have been thinking of you.

How do you know if your ex misses you without making contact?

The only concrete way to know if your ex misses you when they have not made any attempts at contacting you is if they have asked your friends about you and your friends let you know about it.

Why do I keep overthinking about my ex?

You probably still think a lot about your ex because you have not gotten over them. If you have invested a lot of time in the relationship it will take longer for you to remove them from your memories. Had you not cared enough, you would not have thought of them that much.

However, keep in mind that you may hurt them and interrupt their healing process by trying to get back with them.

Key Takeaways

  • Even though a breakup can be tough, especially after spending so much time together, it is understandable that your ex may want to get back together at some point.
  • Keeping in touch, bringing up personal memories you shared, or displaying them all over your social media may mean your ex is trying to rekindle the romance and wants you back.
  • The signs you observe may also give you time to reflect on the direction your relationship with your ex may take.

Your ex is suddenly interested in your life again and you are wondering if it could be a sign they want you back? Check out this video for 10 such signs!

Personal Experience: Source

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