“He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not…” The age-old dilemma of wanting to know whether your man loves you or not is no longer only about plucking rose petals. It’s a painful situation when the man in your life starts seeming disconnected and aloof. From being inseparable to struggling to connect is a tough pill to swallow. You used to talk for hours, and he would shower you with affection, gifts, support. You laughed together, cried together, the sex was incredible, everything seemed perfect. Then something went wrong, and slowly a huge gap set in.
What is important for you now is to pay attention to the signs. We often live in denial because we do not want to lose the person we love. But if he doesn’t love you anymore, it’s a lost cause. It may seem like the end of the world, but it’s not. Below is a list of 35 signs he doesn’t love you anymore. If they resonate with your love life, it may be time for you to move on.
35 Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore
1. Communication (Or The Lack Of It)
One of the surest signs of a dwindling relationship is the lack of communication. This could range from him ignoring you whenever possible to him just not seeming interested in talking or sharing anything with you. He tries to cut you off and end the conversation saying he is busy or makes excuses not to carry on a chat. It’s not only verbal communication – his body language and eye contact may also start seeming disconnected. He seems to be closing himself off, stops sharing anything with you, and seems withdrawn and quiet.
The openness and hours of endless talking seem to be vanishing, and you can’t make out what’s on his mind. Although this could hopefully be just a phase, this might also be a sign that the end is near.
2. He Can Go Days Without Calling Or Texting
They say a gentleman never keeps a lady waiting. But if your man seems to be taking hours and days to reply to a text or call you back, there may be a severe issue at hand. There is no consistency in his behavior and no routine in his communication. He may message you every morning religiously for a few days and then suddenly stop for days on end.
If your man is into you, he will make it a point to reply or call you back as soon as possible. Maybe it’s time to realize he’s just not that into you!
3. Affection And Intimacy Have Gone ‘Poof’
You guys used to be the coochie-coo couple but he is just not affectionate anymore. He seems irritated by the sweet nothings you whisper into his ear. Those small signs of affection don’t seem to exist any longer. Holding hands, a stolen kiss, a hug from behind, looking into each other’s eyes, or cuddling…he doesn’t seem to be in the mood ever.
He also seems to be missing birthdays and anniversaries and is not keen to be romantic in any way. If he loves you, he knows these little things would make you smile and happy. But if they don’t seem to make him happy anymore, there’s trouble brewing in paradise.
4. Everything About You Is Annoying Him
He fell in love with your quirks and habits. He loved your zest for life, your passion, habits…basically everything about you. But now, every little thing you say or do seems to irritate him. If your daily routine has started bugging him, he may have lost some amount of love for you. He seems angry that you are not the “perfect woman.” He has started becoming snappy and disrespectful and even ridicules some of your habits.
Well, if your cuddles are suddenly too sweaty or your giggling is too childish and silly for him, take a step back. If your man is constantly getting ticked off by you, it’s time to reassess your relationship.
5. He Doesn’t Want To Connect
Are you feeling like you’re the one making all the efforts? Be it things like trying to have a conversation or fixing an appointment with a relationship counselor – you are trying to do everything to salvage this union. But, he just doesn’t seem like he wants to. He ignores the topics of discussion, walks away, picks fights with you, and makes excuses not to see a counselor.
Let him go. If he doesn’t want to, you can’t make him. And you don’t want to be in a forced relationship.
6. He Wants You To Change
You want him to love you for who you are, not what he wants you to be. If he has too many complaints suddenly about your habits or the kind of person you are and constantly tries to change you, there’s a problem. He is over-critical and often tells you to change. You may start feeling like you are no longer good enough for him.
Be proud of who you are and know that you don’t have to change for anyone. If he wants you to be someone else, he can find himself someone else!
7. ‘Sorry’ Seems To Be The Most Complex Word
Even if he messes up, he does not care about the hurt he may have caused you. He is almost never sorry for his actions, or at least he doesn’t say so. He does nothing to make amends, and an apology seems against his ego. He also often gets defensive and judgmental, beating around the bush but never saying sorry.
If he loved you, he would apologize, even if it was just to fix things between you two. If he doesn’t care to rectify the problem, it might be time to let him go.
8. He Is Quick To Slam You In Public
He is quick to snub you in public to put you down and show his authority. He doesn’t think of the disrespect or hurt it may cause you. It’s almost an egoistic, sadistic pleasure he seems to be getting from publicly humiliating you.
If he is in love with you, he will know what you are sensitive about and be cautious of how he treats you in front of the rest of the world. If he does not seem to care about that, he does not love and respect you as he should.
9. You Have Not Met His Parents
This is a simple one. You guys are in love, in a relationship, and have talked about a future together. But somehow, he keeps you away from his family and close friends. He is evasive and avoids any kind of contact between you and his family. Your man is either not in love with you or still not sure of this relationship.
10. Sex Is Off The Cards
Earlier, sex with your man was exciting and irresistible. You guys were experimental and getting into bed at the drop of a hat. But suddenly, the urge seems to have disappeared, and he has gone cold turkey. Even after you try all the sexy lingerie, scented candles, and romantic music, he just doesn’t “feel like I.”
Sex is just as emotional an act for men as it is for women. So if he seems to be physically distancing from you, his feelings toward you may have changed.
11. He Is Cheating On You!
He says he’s in love with you, and then he cheats on you! Cheating is just not justified in the equation of love. It’s not rocket science what you need to do if this is the case. But if you choose to give the guy another chance, don’t be surprised if he just doesn’t seem that into you.
12. His “Teasing” Is Becoming Meaner
He seems to have no qualms in making fun of the things that matter the most to you. Some of your interests, habits, or viewpoints may not be the same as his, but if he disrespects your choices, it may be because he has fallen out of love with you.
If the guy loves you, he will not go out of his way to make you feel bad about your likes and dislikes. There can be healthy debates and differences in opinion, but he must respect your interests if he loves you.
13. Any Conversation About Commitment Is Out Of The Window
It’s been a fun journey so far, but your guy just shuts down any conversation about relationship or commitment. He is not interested in discussing the future or making plans with you. Maybe initially, he jokes about it, but now any relationship conversation just turns into a massive fight.
Relationships need to be sat down and discussed, period! If your man is running away from that and refusing to talk about the future, it’s time you realize that he probably just doesn’t want to get into that space with you.
14. He Does Not Comfort You
A partner is someone you put all your faith in. He is your rock, a shoulder to cry on, and your pillar of strength. He picks you up when you’re down and encourages you when you are on the verge of giving up.
If your man is no longer bothered about your stressors and tears, is not comforting you in times of distress, and expects you to be strong enough to deal with things alone (which, by the way, you definitely can) – it’s time for you to be your own pillar of strength.
15. He Has Been Comparing You With Other Women Lately
This one is especially hurtful. If he finds other women prettier, more intelligent, sexier, or more talented than you, he doesn’t see you the way he once did. He has lost respect for the person you are.
If he is resentful and careless about his comments towards you, and he does not make you feel good about yourself, it’s a clear sign he doesn’t love you anymore.
16. He Refuses To Compromise And Doesn’t Care About Your Needs
A relationship involves some amount of compromise from both sides. You need to understand what the other needs and walk that extra mile. It’s effort, but it’s worth it when you love someone. If your guy is no longer bothered about your needs and refuses to compromise on his lifestyle to take care of you, it’s time to look at things a little deeper. Moreover, if he is unwilling to work on the relationship, there’s a problem.
17. You Are No Longer A Priority
When you are in love, you are a massive part of each other’s lives. Whether it is your daily routine or just weekend plans, he must take your presence into account.
If your man is not making you a priority, making plans with others without you, and his future does not seem to have you taken into account – it’s probable that he is not serious about you anymore.
18. The Fights Were Terrible, But Then They Stopped Cold
In a relationship, sometimes fights are healthy. They bring clarity to each other’s thought processes and are a part of getting to know each other better. You figure what the other likes or dislikes and make compromises to make each other happy. Sometimes the fights become terrible, but they still give you the chance to communicate your feelings.
But if the fights have suddenly stopped and he does not look like he cares anymore, there is a serious problem. We fight for what we think is worth having in our lives. Maybe he has realized that he doesn’t love you anymore.
19. He Never Initiates Contact
The so-called honeymoon period sees couples talking 24/7 and craving each other’s company all the time. Of course, that dies down with time, and a comfort level sets in.
But if you see that now it’s only you doing the texting, checking in, calling, and making date plans, then there is something amiss. If your man never initiates contact, it is probably because he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t miss you anymore like he used to.
20. He Is Not Noticing Your Appearance Anymore
There was a time you were the most beautiful woman in the world to him. But now, he just ignores how you look. Whether you are wearing makeup or a new dress, whether you have dressed up for an occasion or just a dinner with him, you just don’t catch his eye anymore.
The compliments are long gone, and he isn’t bothered about what you are wearing (or not!). If he doesn’t find you beautiful anymore, he has likely fallen out of love with you.
22. He Blows Hot And Cold
Are you feeling a lack of consistency here? Is he really into you some days and totally aloof the others? Are these just mood swings, or does his coldness come off as being mean and incommunicado? Do you wake up in the morning not knowing what to expect today?
If your man loves you, he will communicate with you. Even when he is having a bad day at work or tied up with things, he will drop in a message saying he misses you and will get back to you as soon as possible. If that is not happening, you need to rethink this relationship. Don’t allow him to take you for granted and be okay with the hot and cold behavior. Being busy is one thing; inconsistency is a whole different ball game.
23. You Don’t Spend Quality Time Together
He used to love spending time with you alone. Romantic dates, drives, hours on the phone, movies, dinner dates, playing a game together, sex…Everything you did together was beautiful and romantic. But lately, all his plans with you include other people too.
Is he constantly avoiding spending time alone with you? Even if you live together, is he always busy doing his own thing and has taken your presence in the house for granted? If he is not interested in quality time with you, it might be time to reassess your relationship with him.
28. He Is Lying
It’s not always easy to tell the truth, but it’s not so difficult to stay out of situations that will force you to lie. If your partner is becoming a habitual liar, he could be hiding something. It could also be his way of avoiding you and not wanting to keep you involved in his life anymore.
Either way, lying is a big no-no! If he chooses not to communicate truthfully, he does not believe he shares that bond of trust with you anymore. And, he is okay breaking your confidence too. It’s a tough one to come back from.
29. The Words Don’t Come Easily To Him
He loved telling you how much he loved you, but now he doesn’t say it anymore. Or maybe he needs to be asked or prompted every time you want to hear it. Perhaps even when you say it, he only smiles or nods in response instead of saying it back to you!
Indeed love is more than just words, and actions matter too. But if he is not feeling it, he will not say it, no matter how much you hope and try to prod it out of him. If he is not showing it, chances are he is not in love anymore.
30. He Needs A Lot Of “Space”
Your man seems aloof. He wants time to himself. Time together seems to irritate him. He is nearly always preoccupied and hardly feels your presence. He may be spending a lot of time at work or taking up travel assignments more than before.
If your man suddenly wants more space in the relationship than usual, maybe he is having second thoughts about you.
31. He Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries Or Wishes
This could mean in the bedroom or simply your wish not to go to his office party. If you do not wish to spend an evening with some long-lost family member of his, he needs to respect that. Sex is becoming uncomfortable and unpleasant for you, and even when you tell him that, he keeps pushing you for it.
If your man disrespects your wishes and forces himself onto you, it’s time to lift the red flag.
32. He Aims At Hurting You When You’re Fighting
The fights are just pure ugly. He is constantly in a bad mood and yelling at you for the smallest of things. And when the fight begins, he does and says everything to hurt you.
If he is digging up old skeletons just to win an argument or shut you up or, worse still, make you feel horrible, it’s not fair play. He could be doing it to push you away and make you break up with him so that he doesn’t have to do it himself.
33. The Blame Is On You
You have been trying to talk to him about issues between you two, but he just turns around and blames you for everything. He is irritated and pushes the onus of all his problems on you. He shuts you down, saying his life was better off without you.
Your man justifies his bad behavior by making you feel like the cause of it. He says you bring out the worst in him. These words don’t show any love or respect.
34. Skeletons In The Cupboard
This is pretty common in couples’ fights. But if your man truly loves you, he will learn to let go of the past. If he is still carrying the burden of your previous mistakes in his head, he has not forgiven you. Dredging up the past every time you fight is his way of hurting you and telling you how unhappy he is.
He is trying to move the focus away from his lack of love for you and pushing his guilt onto you by digging up irrelevant past issues. He may be feeling bad for not being in love with you anymore but can’t tell you, and this is his way of justifying it to himself and you.
35. Your Gut Is Always Right
Are you looking into his eyes but not feeling the butterflies in your stomach? The eyes are the key to the soul, and if his eyes are not gleaming at the sight of you, there could be a problem. Look into his eyes, see if he can hold eye contact with you. Your gut will give you the signals.
You feel something is amiss, but you just can’t seem to figure it out (actually, your heart just doesn’t want to accept the signs). Listen to your gut. It’s always right.
To gain control of the situation, you first need to take a step back, analyze, and accept the signs. It will be hard, but the truth will set you free. You need to stop ignoring the signs and face them head-on. If he doesn’t love you anymore, it doesn’t make you unworthy. It just means this journey had to end, and you have new pastures to graze.
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