“You’re not the exception, you’re the rule. And the rule is: if a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to call you. If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. No exception!”
The movie He’s Just Not That Into You gave us women some serious truth bombs. It gave us the inside perspective on what a guy does when he’s into someone, and what he doesn’t do. Women tend to convince themselves that a man loves them, even when he’s been dropping hints that he isn’t. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to express himself. Maybe he’s just really busy at work and couldn’t call you. Well, too many maybes.
It’s time we put an end to the ambiguity and know when to call it quits. Here are some signs that let you know that he’s just not that into you!
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Women Here’s Some Truth You Need To Hear!
Women have been led to believe that when a man treats you badly, it means he likes you. This started right from our childhood when some boy who supposedly liked us pushed us in the playground or pulled on our pigtails. As we grew up, we have begun to tell ourselves and our girlfriends lie that the man we like probably likes us back even if he’s being obnoxious or ignorant of us. Most excuses will go something like:
- Maybe he lost my number
- Maybe he’s just busy (or he works even on weekends)
- Oh, he probably is just insecure about my business position
- He doesn’t know how to act in a mature relationship
- Oh, he just needs time to give me commitment
- He’s not there emotionally, and just needs some time
- Right now he’s just prioritizing his family and friends over me, but that will change with time
- He’s young, but he’ll grow up and mature into the relationship
Time to get honest! If a man is serious about you, he will pursue you come hell or high water! He will make sure you know that you are on his mind. Men know that women need vocal affirmations about how they feel. So, if the man you went out with or are casually dating is not giving you that, there’s a high chance that he isn’t sure he wants to be with you.
We asked some of our guy friends to let us know the telltale signs that a man doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a woman. Check them out.
Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
1. He Calls You Only When He Needs Something
Call me when you want, call me when you need
Call me in the morning, I’ll be on the way
Lil Nas X – Montero
If the man you’re dating calls you only when he wants something from you, it’s a sign that he really doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you. He doesn’t call to check in on you. He often ignores your calls, but when he needs physical intimacy, emotional support, or just a chore to be completed – he thinks of you.
He behaving this way probably drives you nuts. You can never depend on him because he doesn’t answer your calls when you need him. It will leave you feeling neglected and used.
2. He’s Hot And Cold With You
You’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down
Katy Perry – Hot And Cold
If your man is suddenly very touchy but then ignores you, later on, it shows inconsistency. You never know where you stand with him. One day he can be all smiles and the next day act like he barely knows you. He’ll treat you like you’re his whole world, but then drop off the face of the earth a few days later.
3. When You Meet It’s Only For Sex
Call me on my cell phone, late night when you need my love
And I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing
Drake- Hotline Bling
When a man only calls you in the night it’s a booty call and not a relationship! And this may not be for physical intimacy – he may sext you or call you to have phone sex. Either way, if you always end up having sex rather than talking about your relationship, how you feel about each other, or your future together, he’s not interested in a relationship with you.
You may also often feel used after intimate sessions with him. These constantly make you question the relationship. Even when you call him for emotional support, it becomes about sex. Ladies, if a man cannot take time to talk to you and only wants to bed you all the time, it is clear he is not interested in wanting a real relationship.
4. He Has No Open Body Language
Now we’re picking fights and slamming doors
Magnifying all our flaws
And I wonder why, wonder what for
Why we keep coming back for more
DuaLipa, Martin Garrix- Scared To Be Lonely
He would have shown you in the first month of your date how important you are to him. He brought flowers, took you out on weekends, and you both were happy. But cut to a month later he doesn’t look you in the eyes or smile at you often. This may be a sign that he’s hiding something or that he doesn’t want to be in the relationship. He’ll have a closed-off body language and may seem distant.
5. He’s Always Busy
You weren’t there, you never were
You want it all, but that’s not fair
I gave you life, I gave my all
You weren’t there, you let me fall
Pink – So What
If your man is always busy and can’t make time for you, he might not be as much into the relationship as you are. While there may be a few long nights at the office, if he’s there constantly, there could be an issue. Let’s be real; if a man wants to make time for you, he will. If he can make time to watch a football game every weekend, he can make time for you. So if he isn’t making time for you, it’s a big red flag.
6. He’s Emotionally Unavailable
You were nonchalant, strong and unaffected and you never wanted me to be there
I never saw your heart, that’s how close you kept it. So right now I’m so unsure how to care.
Jordan Sparks- Now You Tell Me
If your partner is emotionally distant from you and not open to being vulnerable with you, it may be a sign that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. If he shuts off or cracks jokes or simply zones out whenever you bring up serious and emotional topics, it may be an issue.
However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t want to be with you. It may just be his way of coping with things. Maybe something at work is stressing him out and this is how he deals with it. Give him some space and see if that helps. Otherwise, you can talk to him and let him know how you feel about things.
7. He Refuses To Be Exclusive
A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side
A little bit of Rita is all I need, a little bit of Tina is what I see
A little bit of Sandra in the sun, a little bit of Mary all night long
A little bit of Jessica, here I am, a little bit of you makes me your man
Lou Bega – Mambo Number 5
This is a clear red flag with a blaring alarm. If the man you’re dating is seeing multiple women and refuses to be monogamous with you, it’s a sign that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. When you get into a non-exclusive and casual relationship with a man, don’t expect him to always change. He may just want a polyamorous relationship.
8. He Cheats On You
But she caught me on the counter (It wasn’t me)
Saw me bangin’ on the sofa (It wasn’t me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn’t me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn’t me)
Shaggy – It Wasn’t Me
If your partner is constantly cheating on you or has cheated on you more than once, there’s definitely a problem in the relationship. Maybe the spice in the relationship has faded. But, instead of talking things out with you, if your partner is seeing someone else, he may not want to be with you.
9. Never Spends The Night Over
You get in, You get done, And then you get gone
You never leave a trace or show your face, You get gone
John Mayor – Assassins
If the man you’re dating comes over to your place for a nightcap but doesn’t stay over, he may not want to pursue a full-on relationship with you. He may take you out for dinner or buy you flowers. But if he leaves to his place after sex, there could be an issue.
This is true for people who live by themselves or with a roommate. But if you live with your parents, it could just be that he is not comfortable staying over with your parents around.
10. He Actively Ignores You
Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you’d call
It’s just a cruel existence like there’s no point hoping at all
Zayn Malik Feat. Taylor Swift – I Don’t Wanna Live Forever
If your partner ignores you for many days and then suddenly calls you or shows up only when they need you, it may be a sign that they don’t want a full-fledged relationship. If you spot him somewhere at the mall or at a party and he acts like he doesn’t know you or walks away instead of talking to you, it’s a big red flag.
11. Never Meets The Parents (Works Both Ways)
I wanna introduce you to my kinfolks, to my old friends
To the house in the pines where the road ends
Take you to my hometown, where I grew up
Sam Hunt- Kinfolks
If you’ve never met his parents, and he refuses to meet your parents, it’s a red flag. He may not be serious about the relationship. It could be a cause for concern if he shuts off every time you ask him to meet your parents or vice versa.
12. Never Meets The Friends
I just want to sit and look at you, look at you
What it matter if your friends knew
John Mayer- New Light
If a man doesn’t want you to meet his friends, it’s an issue. Let’s be honest; we’re very real when we are around our friends. They know our flaws and our assets the best. So, if he doesn’t want you to meet his friends, there is something wrong. He clearly doesn’t want you to be a part of his life.
13. He Acts Weird When You Bring Up The Topic Of A Relationship
Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you
A Great Big World- Say Something
If he diverts the topic whenever you talk about getting serious in the relationship, it could be a red flag. It is sure an issue if he declines or talks about other failed relationships any time you talk about being in a committed relationship.
14. You’re Always On Edge
That you might not be the golden one
And you’re tied together with a smile
But you’re coming undone
Taylor Swift- Tied With A Smile
If you’re always walking on eggshells around the man you’re dating, it’s a big red flag. Because he cannot or will not commit to you, and you will always feel like you have to prove yourself to him. You try to be perfect for him but internally it drives you crazy. You can never completely be yourself in case he doesn’t find something you do or say attractive.
17. You Meet When It Is Convenient For Him
So good at disappearing that he’s almost like a ghost
And it’s anybody’s guess where he’s been and where he goes
KalieShorr- He’s Just Not That Into You
It doesn’t matter when you are free. You both always meet when he is available. So you’re just left, waiting on the sidelines for him to meet you. Often there are days when he doesn’t meet you, and then suddenly he shows up when he’s free or bored with other things. He may even make you feel very special when he meets you, but may again disappear afterward for days together.
16. Your Friends And Family Think It’s Toxic
Yeah, he’s acting kinda shady (He just don’t seem right, he just don’t seem right)
My girls think he’s a player, I think they might be right
Indiana- My Friends Don’t Like You
A big sign of how good your relationship is going is how your friends and family react to the man you’re dating. Do your friends and family dislike the man you’re dating? Have they tried to stage an intervention for you? Oftentimes, we are so caught up in the romance of it all that we don’t look at our relationship from an intelligent or competent standpoint. This is where our friends and family give us perspective. They see when your partner treats you badly or takes you for granted even when you don’t. Ask your friends and family what they think about your man.
17. Never Really Hangs Out With You On Weekends
Love on the weekend, love on the weekend
I’m busted up and I’m loving every minute of it
John Mayor- Love On The Weekend
When you’re in a relationship or you’re newly dating someone, you spend most weekends with them. If your man doesn’t spend any weekends with you, it’s a sign that he doesn’t take the relationship seriously. However, this doesn’t apply if your partner works on weekends. Basically, it is a red flag if he’s not spending time with you on his off days.
18. He Acts Shady
Say my name, say my name,
You acting kinda shady ain’tcallin me baby
Destiny’s Child- Say My Name
Notice how he behaves when you both hang out together. Does he take extra care to make sure you don’t look at his phone? Have you ever been to his house? Has he added you to his social media accounts? If you answered no to all of the above, there could be a problem with the relationship.
19. Forgets Plans With You
You called me later, And said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t make it”
And I said, “I’m sorry too”, And that was the moment I knew
Taylor Swift – The Moment I Knew
So you called your man and made plans with him for next Saturday. But he doesn’t show up. In fact, he also forgets to inform you that he won’t be able to make it. Women, this is a clear bright red sign that he’s not taking the relationship and you seriously.
20. No Talk Of The Future
Not a song I could sing
For your mind to change
Nothing can fill up the space
Won’t ask you to stay
Alessia Cara- Out Of Love
If he ignores you every time you try discussing your future together, it’s an issue. This means that he cannot commit to you and that he doesn’t take the relationship seriously. We’re not talking specifically about marriage here. Some of you may be fine being committed to each other for the rest of your lives without tying the knot. If your man doesn’t plan his future with you, irrespective of marriage, it’s an issue.
21. You’re More Friends Than Lovers
Friends, lovers, or nothing, there can only be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing, there’ll never be an in-between
So give it up
John Mayer- Friend, Lovers Or Nothing
Some of us get into a relationship with people we’ve been friends with for a long time. If he hangs out with you but doesn’t commit to you, it may be a sign that he thinks you both are better off as friends or that you are casually dating.
The main problem here could be that you become too invested in the relationship whereas he just looks at you like a friend. In the end, it might ruin a good friendship. Before taking the next step with your friend, make sure they are on the same page as you are.
These are the signs he probably doesn’t want a relationship with you. But why is he still hanging out with you? What could the reason be?
Why Is He Still Around If He Isn’t Serious About You?
- The main reason most men keep hanging around is they want to keep their options open. Once they find someone who fits their idea of “The One”, they let go of all the other options.
- Most men don’t want to be alone. They like having someone around for them. They either just want to have a partner around or they just want a partner for sex.
- Some men try to get as many partners as they can, because, to them, it could be a matter of male dominance or pride. In society, while women going out with many partners is considered derogatory, men could be patted on their backs for the same.
Now you know the signs to look for! Let’s take a minute and be real, ladies. More often than not, you get a gut feeling when you don’t think your man is taking you seriously. Talking to them directly and letting them know how you feel works best. Give them examples of how they treat you. Be open with them. If you realize that they aren’t serious about you, just let them go. Move on and never look back. It could be difficult, but it sure would be worth it. Better things are waiting for you.
- 35 Signs He Does Not Love You Anymore
- How To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up
- Six Months In A Relationship: What Does It Mean?
- 9 Types Of Bad Relationships You Need To Get Out Of Right Now