“…And nothing breaks like a heart.”
If you can relate to this song by Mark Ronson, you understand the pain of heartbreak and the lumped-up feeling in your throat when you discover your partner is in love with someone else. If you feel your man is acting strangely for the past few months, and you have doubts that he might be cheating on you, look out for the subtle but obvious hints that he loves another woman. Scroll down to read more.
16 Signs He Is Seeing Someone Else
1. He Does Not Contact You As Much Anymore
Phone calls, texts, or even those cute selfies never end up making their way to your phone anymore. Irrespective of your relationship status (dating or married), he might be seeing someone else if he does not have time for you anymore. You may notice a decline in the times he speaks to you and the number of times he reaches out. Even going out on dates is a rare occasion now. This is a sign that he may be talking to another girl.
2. He Does Not Want You To Meet His Friends
Friends are usually the first point of contact you have with your man. If he is too reluctant to let you meet his friends, it may be a sign he is talking to another girl or that he may even have a girlfriend.
Friends are usually an excellent litmus test for knowing a man, and if you have been together for a while (or hope to be), he should take you to meet his friends. It is a sign that he is letting you into his life. If he is reluctant to do so, it may be because he is unsure about you or because he wants to keep his options open.
3. He Spends Too Much Time On His Phone
Has your man started carrying his phone around a little too protectively? Has he changed his social media password? Is he been sneaky with the calls he receives during odd hours? Does he frequently check his phone while on a date with you? Or maybe he is constantly texting and messaging when his attention should be solely focused on you.
You can explain it as work commitments or other things he has no control over in some cases. But if this behavior is consistent, and there is no apparent reason behind it, it may be because he is engaging with other women while still in a relationship with you.
4. He Has New Grooming Routines
This is one of the telltale signs that your partner is actively seeking another woman. Have you noticed any changes in his grooming routine? For instance, he might have taken up gym membership (when he used to hate exercising) or has been mindful about the way he looks.
Everyone likes to switch things up once in a while. However, if your partner has suddenly overhauled his entire bathroom shelf or begun focusing a lot on his appearance without any reason – there could be a cause for concern. If this is not the case, you should keep a cautious eye out for more such signs.
5. He Does Not Want To Talk About The Future
If you have been together for a while, the future can be a big point of discussion. However, if he does not want to discuss the future and seems unsure about it for no apparent reason, there might be some cause for concern. Even conversations about your plans next week become too much for him, and he may complain that you overthink too much.
He may change topics, divert discussions about the future, or ignore any attempts of such talks. Avoidance like this stands out, especially if he has been open in the past but closed off recently. This can be a big sign that he is interested in someone else and does not have as much fondness for you anymore.
6. He Checks Out Other Women
Whether you have just started dating or have been in a relationship for long, this is one of the most blatant red flags to look out for. An unignorable sign that a man is not interested in you anymore is that he lets his gaze run free even when he is with you.
He watches waitresses walk away, unabashedly turns his head to look at women passing him by, and does not hesitate to stare down at other women – all these signs show his disrespect towards you and the relationship. Though some can dismiss this as a case of human tendencies, if this happens consistently, it can be a sign that he is wandering.
7. There Is A “Girl-Bestfriend”
Everyone has seen her and felt the same thing you are feeling about her. She is a bit too close to your partner, and he claims nothing is going on, and it is a pure bond of friendship. You want to believe it, too, but should you?
If there is an increased closeness (both physical and mental) between the two, without any verifiable reason, you may want to consider looking into it. They spend too much time together, to the extent that he often ends up canceling on you, does not give you time, and always speaks about her. This is a meaningful indicator that your partner might be drifting away and someone else may be closer than you think.
8. He Does Not Call You His Significant Other
Gone are the days of “darling,” “sweetheart,” or “beautiful.” Now, you are lucky if he calls you even by your name anymore. If he does not refer to you as his significant other or someone he values romantically, the chances are that there is another fair lady at the end of his attentions.
Worse yet, it may be a sign that he has a girlfriend already. On several forums, such as Reddit and Discord, women have mentioned that not referring to you as his significant other is a red flag, especially around his family and friends. He wishes to distance himself from your relationship and unconsciously reminds himself that you are not the only woman in his life. Make sure you keep an eye out for such behavior.
9. He Has No Time For You
Wanting to spend time with your partner is one of the most natural things to wish for. However, he seems not to feel the same way anymore and does not wish to engage with you emotionally or physically anymore.
Dates get canceled, video calls get halted midway because of “bad network,” and work has become so extensive that he does not even have time for a good night text anymore. It may be an obvious indicator of his infidelity, or at the very least, a sign that he is attracted to other women.
10. He is Overly Defensive
They say it is not a situation that defines you but how you react to it. There are hardly more considerable signs that he is seeing someone else than a man who gets too defensive. Do completely innocent questions make him boil with rage? Does he shout when you ask him anything? Does he accuse you of being unfaithful to him when you question him? If yes, you might want to take a deeper look into his life.
He may be projecting his adulterous tendencies onto you, and as a result, turning on to you because he feels threatened or cornered. In short, if he is too defensive, it is often a clear sign he is hiding something big. Alternatively, he may shut down entirely and refuse to speak about anything unrelated to you.
11. He Compares You With Others
Don’t you love it when your partner sees the stars in your eyes and treats you like the only woman in the world? But if you notice that this is not the case with you anymore, it may be a sign he is attracted to someone else and is now holding you to their standards.
He criticizes how you look, behaves strangely, and maybe tries to push you away emotionally. He also holds you to an unrealistic standard that did not seem to exist before.
12. His Mood Swings Are Through The Roof
One of the primary reasons a person experiences mood swings is stress, lack of sleep or nutrition, burnout, or simple exhaustion. If your partner has been experiencing this lately, the chances are what they appear to be: a man who needs a good night’s sleep.
However, if all seems usual in his life and he is still very moody, it might be a sign he is interested in other women and does not wish to be with you anymore. Your partner may feel shame, anger, and guilt inside, which manifests as negative feelings and behavior. He may even feel anxious due to the constant fear of getting caught. This is especially true if you have been in a committed relationship.
13. His Stories Do Not Add Up
Was it a work meeting that kept him away last week? Or was it a weekend night out with his friends? Every time you ask him, you get a different answer. If so, this is a sign that he is hiding something (probably an affair).
This phenomenon is called cognitive dissonance. It is a situation when the brain struggles to align two different lines of thought. As a result, the person keeps changing the narrative, resulting in half-baked lies.
14. You Fight More Often
If he is involved with someone else, he may feel that he is trapped with you. In such a case, he may start to pick fights on minor things.
Forgot to wash the dishes? Didn’t answer his call fast enough? These things, which should ideally not even be points of discussion, can become significant issues. You may drain yourself emotionally and mentally fighting with him over minor topics like this. He may do this to take out his frustration on you or as an attempt to shift blame away from him.
15. You May Get Showered With Gifts
Has he become overly loving and caring for no apparent reason? Has he started to shower you with gifts? He may be feeling guilty about being unfaithful towards you and is making up for it through gifts and affection.
Though he will still not have time for you, he will make up for it by being extravagantly generous when you do meet. Your wishes are his command, and he will stop at nothing to get you what you want, as long as it does not interfere with his infidelity.
16. He Will Avoid Certain Places
No matter how secretive people try to keep things, someone is bound to notice. It could be a mutual friend, a relative, or an acquaintance. Regardless, there are always people around who could spot your partner with someone who was not you.
In such a case, the most natural defense is to avoid all places where people have seen him with another woman. He may now avoid your favorite bars, restaurants, parks, and clubs like the plague and find new, secluded places for you both to go instead. A change in choice is acceptable, even expected, but too many rapid changes are something to keep an eye out for.
To Sum Up
While these signs may be indicators that he is seeing someone else, they are not definitive proof of infidelity. Maybe you are reading too much into the situation. If you have doubts, it is always better to confront your partner and discuss your concerns. Everyone has different ways of dealing with their suspicions. So, before you take any further steps, take a step back instead, and as the adage goes, think before you leap.
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