Signs He is Seeing Someone Else

You don't need to keep a constant eye on your partner when you know what to look out for.

Reviewed by Sarah Kenville, MA (Marriage and Family Therapy)
Written by Sneha Tete, Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach
Edited by Asmita De, MA (English)
Fact-checked by Reshma Latif, BSc  • 

A shattered heart is hard to mend. If you can relate to this statement, you know how much it aches when the person you love is secretly dating someone else. If you feel your partner’s strange behaviors are signs he is seeing someone else, you may have to look out for hints rather than go with your intuition. There may be chances that he is in love with someone else, or it may not even be what you think. So, before arriving at any conclusion, read this article to check the subtle hints. Scroll down.

17 Signs He Is Seeing Someone Else

1. He Does Not Contact You As Much Anymore

Phone calls, texts, or even those cute selfies never make their way to your phone anymore. Irrespective of your relationship status (dating or married), he might be seeing someone else if he does not have time for you anymore. You may notice a decline in the times he speaks to you and the number of times he reaches out. Even going out on dates is a rare occasion now. This is a sign that he may be talking to another girl.

2. He Does Not Want You To Meet His Friends

Friends are usually the first point of contact you have with your man. If he is too reluctant to let you meet his friends, it may be a sign he is talking to another girl or that he may even have a girlfriend.

Friends are usually an excellent litmus test for knowing a man, and if you have been together for a while (or hope to be), he should take you to meet his friends. It is a sign that he is letting you into his life. If he is reluctant to do so, it may be because he is unsure about you or because he wants to keep his options open.

3. He Spends Too Much Time On His Phone

He is seeing someone else if he spends too much time on his phone
Image: Shutterstock

Has your man started carrying his phone around a little too protectively? Has he changed his social media password? Is he being sneaky with the calls he receives during odd hours? Does he frequently check his phone while on a date with you? Or maybe he is constantly texting and messaging when his attention should be solely focused on you.

You can explain it as work commitments or other things he sometimes has no control over in some cases. But if this behavior is consistent, and there is no apparent reason behind it, it may be because he is engaging with other women while still in a relationship with you. Dishonesty and betrayal can take many different forms, such as hiding his phone or keeping his whereabouts a secret.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Instead of trying to check his phone secretly, confront him with confidence. Do not invade his privacy in the process.

4. He Has New Grooming Routines

This is one of the telltale signs that your partner is actively seeking another woman. Have you noticed any changes in his grooming routine? For instance, he might have taken up gym membership (when he used to hate exercising) or has been mindful about the way he looks.

Everyone likes to switch things up once in a while. However, if your partner has suddenly overhauled his entire bathroom shelf or begun focusing a lot on his appearance without any reason – there could be a cause for concern. If this is not the case, you should keep a cautious eye out for more such signs.

5. He Does Not Want To Talk About The Future

If you have been together for a while, the future can be a big point of discussion. However, if he does not want to discuss the future and seems unsure about it for no apparent reason, there might be some cause for concern. Even conversations about your plans next week become too much for him, and he may complain that you overthink too much.

He may change topics, divert discussions about the future, or ignore any attempts of such talks. Avoidance like this stands out, especially if he has been open in the past but closed off recently. This can be a big sign that he is interested in someone else and does not have as much fondness for you anymore.

6. He Checks Out Other Women

He is seeing someone else if he checks out other women
Image: Shutterstock

Whether you have just started dating or have been in a relationship for long, this is one of the most blatant red flags to look out for. An unignorable sign that a man is not interested in you anymore is that he lets his gaze run free even when he is with you.

He watches waitresses walk away, unabashedly turns his head to look at women passing him by, and does not hesitate to stare down at other women – all these signs show his disrespect towards you and the relationship. Though some can dismiss this as a case of human tendencies, if this happens consistently, it can be a sign that he is wandering. Letting this red flag go could actually affect your mental health too. It is not uncommon to feel jealousy in these situations, especially if you notice a change in his behavior.

7. There Is A “Girl-Bestfriend”

Everyone has seen her and felt the same thing you are feeling about her. She is a bit too close to your partner, and he claims nothing is going on, and it is a pure bond of friendship. You want to believe it, too, but should you?

If there is an increased closeness (both physical and mental) between the two without any verifiable reason, you may want to consider looking into it. They spend too much time together, to the extent that he often ends up canceling on you, does not give you time, and always speaks about her. This is a meaningful indicator that your partner might be drifting away and someone else may be closer than you think.

protip_icon Quick Tip
If there is a “girl-best friend”, tell him that she makes you uncomfortable. If he is seeing the woman, you can decide for your relationship accordingly. But do not involve the other woman because you still don’t know if she is at fault.

8. He Does Not Call You His Significant Other

Gone are the days of “darling,” “sweetheart,” or “beautiful.” Now, you are lucky if he calls you even by your name anymore. If he does not refer to you as his significant other or someone he values romantically, the chances are that there is another fair lady at the end of his attention.

Worse yet, it may be a sign that he has a girlfriend already. On several forums, such as Reddit and Discord, women have mentioned that not referring to you as his significant other is a red flag, especially around his family and friends. He wishes to distance himself from your relationship and unconsciously reminds himself that you are not the only woman in his life. Make sure you keep an eye out for such behavior.

9. He Has No Time For You

He is seeing someone else if he has no time for you
Image: Shutterstock

Wanting to spend time with your partner is one of the most natural things to wish for. However, he seems not to feel the same way anymore and does not wish to engage with you emotionally or physically anymore.

Dates get canceled, video calls get halted midway because of “bad network,” and work has become so extensive that he does not even have time for a good night text anymore. It may be an obvious indicator of his infidelity, or at the very least, a sign that he is attracted to other women.

10. He is Overly Defensive

They say it is not a situation that defines you but how you react to it. There are hardly more considerable signs that he is seeing someone else than a man who gets too defensive. Do completely innocent questions make him boil with rage? Does he shout when you ask him anything? Does he accuse you of being unfaithful to him when you question him? If yes, you might want to take a deeper look into his life.

If he becomes defensive when you ask inquiries, your mistrust in him is bound to increase. He may be projecting his adulterous tendencies onto you, and as a result, turning on to you because he feels threatened or cornered. In short, if he is too defensive, it is often a clear sign he is hiding something big. Alternatively, he may shut down entirely and refuse to speak about anything unrelated to you.

11. He Compares You With Others

Don’t you love it when your partner sees the stars in your eyes and treats you like the only woman in the world? But if you notice that this is not the case with you anymore, it may be a sign he is attracted to someone else and is now holding you to their standards.

He criticizes how you look, behaves strangely, and maybe tries to push you away emotionally. He also holds you to an unrealistic standard that did not seem to exist before, and it is a clear sign of disloyalty.

12. His Mood Swings Are Through The Roof

He is seeing someone else if his mood swings are t hrough the roof
Image: Shutterstock

One of the primary reasons a person experiences mood swings is stress, lack of sleep or nutrition, burnout, or simple exhaustion. If your partner has been experiencing this lately, the chances are what they appear to be: a man who needs a good night’s sleep.

However, if all seems usual in his life and he is still very moody, it might be a sign he is interested in other women and does not wish to be with you anymore. Your partner may feel shame, anger, and guilt inside, which manifests as negative feelings and behavior. He may even feel anxious due to the constant fear of getting caught. This is especially true if you have been in a committed relationship.

13. His Stories Do Not Add Up

Was it a work meeting that kept him away last week? Or was it a weekend night out with his friends? Every time you ask him, you get a different answer. If so, this is a sign that he is hiding something (probably an affair). Deception appears to be afoot!

This phenomenon is called cognitive dissonance. It is a situation when the brain struggles to align two different lines of thought. As a result, the person keeps changing the narrative, resulting in half-baked lies.

14. You Fight More Often

If he is involved with someone else, he may feel that he is trapped with you. In such a case, he may start to pick fights on minor things.

Forgot to wash the dishes? Didn’t answer his call fast enough? These things, which should ideally not even be points of discussion, can become significant issues. You may drain yourself emotionally and mentally fighting with him over minor topics like this. He may do this to take out his frustration on you or as an attempt to shift blame away from him.

15. You May Get Showered With Gifts

He is seeing someone else if he is showering you with gifts
Image: Shutterstock

Has he become overly loving and caring for no apparent reason? Has he started to shower you with gifts? He may be feeling guilty about being unfaithful towards you and is making up for it through gifts and affection.

Though he will still not have time for you, he will make up for it by being extravagantly generous when you do meet. Your wishes are his command, and he will stop at nothing to get you what you want, as long as it does not interfere with his infidelity.

16. He Will Avoid Certain Places

No matter how secretive people try to keep things, someone is bound to notice. It could be a mutual friend, a relative, or an acquaintance. Regardless, there are always people around who could spot your partner with someone who is not you.

In such a case, the most natural defense is to avoid all places where people have seen him with another woman. He may now avoid your favorite bars, restaurants, parks, and clubs like the plague and find new, secluded places for you both to go instead. A change in choice is acceptable, even expected, but too many rapid changes are something to keep an eye out for.

17. He Seems Interested Only In Sex

If a partner seems primarily interested in sexual encounters, it could be a sign they are involved with someone else. Their focus on physical intimacy rather than emotional connection might indicate divided attention. They could exhibit behaviors like sudden unavailability, secretive actions, or avoiding discussions about the future of the relationship. Increased emphasis on sexual aspects while neglecting emotional bonding might suggest they are fulfilling emotional needs elsewhere. Open communication about your concerns is essential to clarify the relationship’s status and your expectations, allowing both parties to address their issues honestly and transparently.

Infographic: 7 Tell-Tale Signs That You Are Not His Only One

There is intuition, and then there are signs that your partner is being unfaithful. While it could be hard to tell your intuition from your fear and insecurities, signs do not lie— especially a few, in particular. Check out the infographic to learn about the tell-tale signs of a man who is seeing someone else but trying to hide it.

tell tale signs that you are not his only one (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Get the high-quality PDF version of this infographic.

Download Infographic in PDF version

If you have grown distant from your partner or someone you like and are wondering if he is seeing someone else, it can trigger feelings of suspicion and insecurity. And looking out for the above signs can be a step in the right direction. For instance, if he doesn’t contact you as much as before, spends too much time on the phone while with you, doesn’t want to talk about the future, or fights a lot, then he wants out of the relationship. These might be signs of cheating or unfaithfulness. In addition, a change in his grooming routine, an overly defensive attitude, or not wanting to meet your friends indicates that he is seeing someone else.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if a guy is pretending to love you?

Some of the ways to know that a guy is pretending to be in love with you are:
• They don’t prioritize you.
• They keep the relationship a secret
• They avoid discussing the future with you.
• They gaslight you.

Is he busy or losing interest?

If a guy is just busy, he will keep you updated about his life, try to see you whenever he can, and contact you whenever he gets some free time. On the other hand, an uninterested guy will not take the initiative to meet or contact you and will be vague about why he is busy.

Is he serious about me or just playing?

A guy who is serious about you, he will try to see you often, respect your opinion, make you meet his friends and family, and be willing to compromise and communicate effectively. But, if he is playing you, he won’t share his emotions with you, may prioritize sexual intimacy, and lie about many things.

Can a guy distance himself if he likes you?

Yes. A guy may distance himself from you even though he likes you if he thinks you are out of his league, he is already in a committed relationship, he is shy, he wants to take it slow, or he needs time to be sure of his feelings.

Key Takeaways

  • Certain signs hint that the man you love might be seeing someone else.
  • A common sign could be that he doesn’t spend as much time with you as he used to or pay attention to you.
  • Another common sign is his unwillingness to completely commit to you.
  • However, while these signs might mean he’s seeing someone else, they aren’t set in stone.

Are you worried that your boyfriend might be cheating on you? Take a look at these 15 eye-opening signs to gain greater clarity about your situation and see things as they are.

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