10 Signs She Is Testing You To Make Sure You Are Right For Her

Written by Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

When a relationship is in its early stages, you may notice some signs that she is testing you. Selecting a life partner is a major decision, so, understandably, a woman would put a man to the test to see if they are made for each other. The incredible thing is that she loves you enough to even consider you as a suitable partner. She is certainly interested in you, but she does not want to bother wasting your time if the relationship has an expiration date.

A woman may put you to the test in a variety of ways. Each woman is unique, and her requirements may vary. We have compiled a list of the top ten signs that a lady is putting you to the test to figure out if you are the one for her. Keep reading!

10 Signs She Is Testing You To Decide If You Are Right for Her

1. She Asks You About Your Future Goals

She Asks You About Your Future Goals


If she is interested in you, she will care about what your plans for the future are. She will ask you what you want from life and where do you see yourself in the next 5, 10, and 20 years. This signals she wants something long-term and wants to see where you fall in her future plans or vice versa. Do you plan to marry, have kids, or change your career?

While it is important to be spontaneous in life, having a broad life map planned out is important. Things might not always work out in the ways we planned but having one indicates that you are far-sighted, organized, and focused – which are qualities deemed important in a life partner. If you both have drastically different life goals, it probably will be a deal-breaker.

2. She Wants To Know About Your Past

She Wants To Know About Your Past


If she wants to know about your past (especially your relationships), it indicates she wants to know more about your romantic history and what kind of partner you were. She will want to know who broke up with you (or who you broke up with) and why. This is a subtle way to scan for any red flags that might become deal breakers in the future. The way your relationship ended and how you deal with it gives a unique perspective about the psychological and emotional profile of the person.

Someone who is still obsessed with their ex-girlfriend or is prone to get into rebound relationships is definitely not a goodx candidate for a long-term relationship. Learning of the past may shed light on more serious issues such as addictions, cheating, sexual abuse, repressed trauma, or even domestic violence.

3. She Asks You Dealbreakers

She Asks You Dealbreakers


Love, respect, and good communication are solid pillars on which a relationship stands. Another crucial element is compatibility. While opposites may attract initially, people who have more in common tend to stay together in the long run. Where do you draw a line on flirting? What about gambling? Debt? Raising children? Religious beliefs? These are common issues where most couples end up breaking up over. That is why she will want to know about such dealbreakers. Obviously, you will not agree on everything all the time – but it is important to be on the same page on crucial issues.

4. She Checks Your Manners

She Checks Your Manners


Manners maketh a man! She will always keep an eye out on how you behave with other people, especially waiters, drivers, and other women. How you treat them shows much about your character! Losing temper or belittling someone is an instant turn-off. Being considerate of others shows you are kind and patient. These are great qualities to check for in a future partner. Simple gestures like greeting people back, helping others, and thanking people help make a great impression.

Of course, pulling a chair, holding the door or an umbrella, or handing a jacket may seem old-fashioned. But these little actions can earn you brownie points.

5. She Wants To Know More About Your Family And Friends

She Wants To Know More About Your Family And Friends


Friends and family make a huge part in our social life. So, if she is interested in you, she will want to know more about your friends and meet your family. She will ask you questions about them and how important they are in your life. Are you estranged from your family? Do you have superficial friendships? Are you friends with toxic people who take advantage of you? It is true we are often judged by the company we keep.  A well-rounded person has a healthy social life. It is not the number of people around you but how emotionally connected you are with them. This also helps in gauging more about your family values. She will also get a better understanding of whether she can get along with your friends and family in the future.

6. She Will Introduce You To Her Friends

She Will Introduce You To Her Friends


Another sign she is testing you is when she introduces you to her friends. Most often it might feel like a rite of passage to get accepted by her friends. Her friends might be a little hostile in the beginning – prodding you, asking you questions, or teasing you. Most often, her more protective friends will be judging whether you are good enough for her. Her close friends who know her well can guess if you are right for her or not. Hanging out with her friends will also help you understand her better.  If you get along with her friends, then half the battle is won!

7. She Asks You To Help Her With Something

She Asks You To Help Her With Something


If she asks for help, she is testing if she can count on you. She will want to know how helpful you are and if you prioritize her. You can guess early on if a person is genuinely interested to help or if they are self-centered or self-serving. Working together brings out the different attributes about yourself, including punctuality, honesty, reliability, and dedication. It is a good sign if you work well together without too many disagreements. You would make a good team, which is crucial for a long-term relationship and raising kids.

8. She Takes Notice When You Flirt With Or Check Out Other Women

She Takes Notice When You Flirt With Or Check Out Other Women


No one wants to be with someone with a roving eye! She will always keep a tab on how you interact with other women that you find attractive. She will notice if you are flirting with a waitress or a colleague. Small, subtle gestures are dead giveaways in such cases. She will follow your eyes to see how you check out other women.

While it is normal to be attracted to other people and a little bit of harmless flirting may not be objectionable, it is not okay to give too much attention to other women when you are dating someone seriously. Doing so signals you are open and available. Most importantly, it devalues your current relationship and your partner. This is definitely a red flag and a warning sign for your woman.

9. She Shares Her To-Do List With You

She Shares Her To-Do List With You


You will notice that she tells you little things she likes or wants to do. This is her way to see if you pay attention to her. She expects you to keep these in mind and surprise her later. This shows that you are attentive and thoughtful. From her Pinterest boards to vacay inspos, everything is game! A man who pays attention and dotes on his woman is what almost all women want. Hence, it is important to keep a tab on the little details she keeps throwing in her conversations. Get her something from her wish-list to make her happy. Most often, it is the little gestures like remembering her favorite drinks or making sure you inform the chef of her allergies that will show you care about her.

10. She Keeps A Tab On Whether You Initiate A Conversation

She Keeps A Tab On Whether You Initiate A Conversation


She will test you by not texting back immediately or keeping from initiating a conversation. This is a sign that she wants to see how interested you are in talking to her. She wants to see if you are putting in the effort to reach out to her. Sometimes, she may play hard to get to see if you will stick around. The current dating trends show that most people have “situationships” or complicated relationships where people are pursuing multiple interests without really committing to one person. So, if she likes you, she wants you to take the initiative and put in the effort to woo her exclusively. Loyalty and commitment are definitely a requirement for a long-term relationship.


When a woman likes you and is considering you for a long-term relationship, she will most likely test you. This is subjective, as it depends on the individual criteria and preferences of the woman. However, there are a few universal signs you can keep a watch for. Hope this article will help you avoid some major faux paus, especially if you want to take your relationship to the next level!

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