15 Sure Signs Someone Does Not Want to Be Your Friend

If a friendship feels one-sided and lacks communication, it might be time to part ways.

Reviewed by Dr. Chloe Carmichael, Licensed Clinical Psychologist Dr. Chloe Carmichael Dr. Chloe CarmichaelLicensed Clinical Psychologist facebook_icontwitter_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA Experience: 3 years
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Friends are an important part of life, and we agree you should make friends with everyone you click with. However, not everyone might be interested in this proposition, and you should know the signs someone doesn’t want to be your friend. You might feel disappointed to know when someone doesn’t want your friendship, but respecting their decision is the right way to go. We can’t and shouldn’t do anything about it as it depends on another individual to accept your friendship or not. This article lists 15 signs that you can check for to know whether someone wants to be your friend or not. Scroll down!

15 Sure Signs Someone Does Not Want to Be Your Friend

1. They Disregard Your Limits

All of us maintain some boundaries while forging healthy relationships and interactions. Someone genuinely interested in being your friend will not be repeled by these boundaries. Instead, they will work within acceptable limits while presenting their opinions.

Those who are not eager or capable of good friendships will have difficulty dealing with this. Healthy limits and assertiveness may either elicit positive responses or serve as warnings of potential conflict. Therefore, never spend your time arguing about limits that you have full power to set.

2. They Are Not Reciprocal

When someone doesn't want to be your friend, they are not reciprocal
Image: Shutterstock

Friendship is based on mutual love and connection. If you care for someone, you must demonstrate your love by treating them properly. And it is reasonable to expect the same treatment in return. However, if you are routinely putting in more effort or performing very imbalanced acts of love, it means your companion views your interactions as something less than a friendship.

A blogger shared their experience with friendship and how, at times, it ends up being a disappointment rather than helpful. She mentioned that it was difficult for her to make friends and when she did, it would always fall on her to reach out: “Friendship is a two way street and I refuse to be the only car on the road (i).” She realized that putting in effort to maintain a friendship is not a one-person job, and that it’s better to let go and be happy with the people who are as invested as you are in the relationship.

3. They Only Contact You When They Want Something

When you contact your friend, they are usually busy. They only involve you in excursions when they need a ride or ask you to join when they need your assistance with a project. On the other hand, when you make plans, they always cancel beforehand. If this becomes a pattern, it is clear that someone isn’t interested in your friendship.


4. They Lack Curiosity In Your Life
When someone doesn't want to be your friend, they lack curiosity in your life
Image: Shutterstock

When in a gathering, if your friend is more busy with their phone than with you, it is a clear sign of unfriendliness. They do not seem interested when you talk and do not inquire about your personal life. Their behavior seems distant, and you feel something is off. If you feel something has changed, believe your intuition and move on.

protip_icon Quick Tip

In certain cases, they tend to be active talkers and do little to listen about your interests, problems, or goals. True friends listen to your worries and support your interests.


5. They No Longer Communicate With You

Is your buddy not responding to your messages and phone calls, or do they reply in an unusually long period? This indifference means that the individual does not want to be your friend. Do not try to befriend someone who is not interested in your friendship. Surrounding yourself with people who appreciate and reciprocate your relationship will benefit you in the long term.

6. They Exclude You From Important Events

When someone doesn't want to be your friend, they exclude you from important events
Image: Shutterstock

The significance of this becomes even more apparent when the two of you have common acquaintances who were invited, but you did not receive an invitation.

7. They Keep The Discussions Short

They have no interest in getting to know you, and they have no interest in you getting to know them. Therefore, they will pass up chances to do so. You often get one-word answers or no talking at all. They never listen to what you try to express or show any sign of interest.

protip_icon Quick Tip

Look out for excessive use of polite but clipped responses. Conversations with people who do not wish to be your friend may feel formal or stiff because they treat you in a measured manner.


8. They Avoid Your Gaze
When someone doesn't want to be your friend, they avoid your gaze
Image: Shutterstock

If the two of you happen to run into each other, they keep the discussion short and find an excuse to depart soon. They look off in the distance or do not keep the conversation going.


9. They Do Not Appreciate Your Efforts

They do not answer your calls or respond to your messages. If they respond, it will be a concise answer since they do not want to continue the discussion. They never make any attempt to contact you. You are the one who always keeps in touch with them and communicates regularly.

Moreover, they do not even seem to appreciate your efforts to maintain the relationship. If they show real apathy when they hear from you, it is clear they are not interested in this friendship.

10. They Try To Ghost You

Watch how long it takes your buddy to reply when you send them a message. Do you ever feel that you are ‘blowing up their phone,’ even after several messages? It is a subtle indication that your supposed companion is trying to ghost you.

When your friend suddenly disappears into thin air, never to be seen or heard from again, it may leave you perplexed. However, do not tolerate this cruelty and try to get over such a toxic relationship.

11. They Never Respond To Your Questions

When someone doesn't want to be your friend, they ignore your questions
Image: Shutterstock

Even though you reach out to them continuously, there are instances when they do not attempt to answer. They may not reply unless you are asking a specific question. You will also find them disinterested in getting engaged in a conversation.

They may initially regard you as a friend but try to avoid your company if they feel you are not linked. Their avoidance serves as a reminder that they do not want a true relationship with you. Therefore, it is best to accept and let them go.

12. They Do Not Appreciate Your Accomplishments

If your ‘so-called buddy’ frequently makes disparaging comments about your efforts and accomplishments, they consider you a competitor. But, on the other hand, if you get a promotion or save up for your vacation, your real friends will be pleased. People who do not want to be your friend may shut you down or pass nasty remarks about your career, appearance, and life choices.

13. They Cancel Plans In A Short Period

You and your pals are planning a get-together, and you cannot be more thrilled about the prospect. But unfortunately, some of them cancel their plans a day before hangout, and the situation has never progressed beyond that point.

It is a sure sign that they are avoiding to meet up. Moreover, they always manage to come up with justifications that get repeated over and over again. Such companions tend to frame lame excuses regarding why they are unable to attend the event.

14. They Don’t Keep Up With You On Social Media

Is your buddy yet to follow you on social media? You might follow and message them, but the notice of a new follower never includes their nickname. While this may not always indicate that a person does not want you as a friend, social media engagements can reflect the true state of your relationship.

If they ignore your posts and comments, it means they do not want to be seen with you on that platform. Although snapping connections on social media may seem trivial, you can measure how a person feels about you. They may not be interested in what you are up to and

There are various reasons why friendships end – maybe you had a fight that you could not get over, or perhaps you just grew apart. Don’t get disappointed! You will be able to get through this, no matter what the circumstances are.

What You Need To Remember About Someone Not Wanting to Be Your Friend

  • Take time to process your feelings.
  • Remember that not everybody can be your friend forever.
  • Avoid contact with the person.
  • Get rid of all the memories related to the person.
  • Work on yourself and practice self-love.

A true friend will be there for you in good times and provide a helping hand when things are not going well. Therefore, you must stop pushing something that isn’t there. Identify the signals and distance yourself from individuals who are not interested in being your friend. While you might experience rejection and loneliness, it is better not to waste your efforts on a friendship that was never meant to be. Remember that isolation and exclusion are not a reflection of your worth as a person.

Infographic: 5 Signs Of One-Sided Friendship

Although friendship is an important part of life, you must realize that not everyone will share your desire for friendship. One-sided friendships can make you feel emotionally drained and exhausted. That’s why identifying the signs of imbalance is important. Check out the infographic below to learn about the sure-fire signs someone does not want to be your friend.

5 signs of one sided friendship (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

You might be a great person to be around and still not fit someone’s idea of a friend. And that is okay. It does not mean there is something wrong with you. People have their preferences, and it would be best to accept that things cannot get more than cordial with some people. We hope this article on how to know when someone does not want to be your friend will help you identify signs of people wishing you to steer clear.

Additionally, you must realize that real friends will stay by your side through thick and thin. Identify these people and prioritize them. It is not necessary to befriend everyone. A handful of good friends are better than a village of fake admirers.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a one-sided friendship?

A one-sided friendship is where only one person bears the onus of sustaining the connection. In such friendships, the needs and interests of one friend take precedence over the other’s.

How do you politely cut off a friend?

The best way to end a friendship without being rude or impolite is to be direct about it. Explain your feelings honestly and be upfront about your decision.

How do you emotionally detach from a friend?

You should approach detachment as something that will happen over time. You can’t detach from a friend in a snap as there are a lot of unprocessed emotions and feelings. Take time to address and release them and start maintaining distance from the friend slowly.

Key Takeaways

  • Those who are not eager for good friendships will have difficulty maintaining healthy boundaries.
  • Look out for subtle hints like they are less reciprocal or contact you only in their need. These are indications that they do not care about you.
  • Sometimes, social media engagements can also reflect the true state of your relationship.
signs someone doesnt want to be your friend

Image: Dall·E/StyleCraze Design Team

Friendships hit many bumps on the road, however sometimes it’s truly time to move on. Check this video for 6 signs that tell you if it’s time to let go of your best friend and look ahead.

Personal Experience: Source

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Dr. Chloe Carmichael

Dr. Chloe CarmichaelLicensed Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Chloe Carmichael is a licensed clinical psychologist with 10 years of experience. She specializes in stress management, relationship issues, self-esteem, and coaching. She earned her BA in Psychology from Columbia University and has a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University. She has also served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York and instructed undergraduate...read full bio

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