Signs Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast & How To Deal With It

Speed is good but can be destructive in relationships, so learn when to slow down.

Reviewed by Rodolfo Parlati, Professional Life Coach Rodolfo Parlati Rodolfo ParlatiProfessional Life Coach facebook_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc linkedin_icon Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , MA Sangita Goel MA linkedin_icon Experience: 2 years
Last Updated on

When you rush into love, there are clear signs that your relationship is moving too fast. But, you ignore them because the endorphinsi  Hormones released by the body in response to pain, stress, and pleasurable activities. They reduce pain and induce a feeling of wellness. and adrenalini  Hormones released in response to strong emotions like fear or anger that increases the blood circulation and produces more energy. make you feel giddy with happiness. This may lead you into a relationship that is not healthy.

Every relationship is different. Some people fall in love at first sight, while others like committing first and then growing in love. But, there have been times in all our lives where we have moved too fast for our own liking. Is it possible that we ignore a few red flags while doing so? Love bombing is real. Narcissists often use this tactic of intense romantic courting to get what they want. This time, it could be you.

If even a cell in your body feels like you are moving too fast, press pause and read this post. We will tell you the signs to look for to determine if your relationship is moving too fast and how to tackle this situation. Read on!

How To Know If Your Relationship Is Moving Too Fast

Here are a few signs that will tell you if your relationship is missing too fast:

1. You Are Losing Your Identity

A couple looking at each other with a sense of awkwardness.
Image: Shutterstock

Are you a homebody but have started going out every day because of your partner? Do you let your partner make all the decisions or give in easily to their whims? If you are constantly doing uncharacteristic things that go against your nature just to make your partner happy, it is not a good sign. It may feel innocuous at first, but you will end up feeling disoriented and out of sorts in the relationship. The rush of doing new things or spending time with your loved one may have you all pumped, but you know that something is off.

Getting consumed by the relationship without leaving time for yourself can be exhausting. While it is great to explore new things and get out of your comfort zone, if it makes you lose your sense of self, give it a pause. Take a raincheck. Communication is the key to resolving the matter, so talk to a close friend and air your doubts. They can help you put things in perspective. They are the first ones to notice any drastic changes in your personality. When the relationship is moving too fast, you will give up on your habits, interests, and even friendships. You may end up feeling empty or like you are not yourself.

protip_icon Quick Tip
One of the signs that your relationship is moving too fast is that you have trouble making decisions without your partner early on and need their help in making any small decision.

2. Lack Of Boundaries

A whirlwind romance can sweep you off your feet, and you may let your guard down. This can create a lot of problems. Apart from ignoring the red flags, you may end up blurring the boundaries. A relationship that lacks healthy boundaries can easily turn codependent or toxic. Always remember that there are two individuals in a relationship. They should live in harmony but not become one entity. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean being selfish but respecting each other’s vital space, needs, and aspirations. People in a relationship are like two islands of the same archipelago.

Spending 24/7 together, constant texting, stalking each other online, and not giving each other space to pursue individual goals, interests, or hobbies is not healthy in a relationship. Always make time for family, friends, and yourself.

Carrie Wynn, a blogger, recalls her personal experience of enduring a toxic relationship that lacked much-needed social and personal boundaries. She talks about her past relationship with an older, narcissistic man that was somehow painful and toxic but constant denial won over those feelings. She started to experience downfalls in different phases due to the absence of space and added, “My job performance worsened because I wasn’t sleeping due to the constant anxiety. My friendships suffered because he wanted to take up every moment of my time. My health also took a turn for the worse because of the constant partying that he wanted to do with his group of friends, and if I didn’t come with him, he would go into a complete narcissistic rage (i).”

If you check with your partner for every decision you make, or they encroach into your personal or professional relationships, it is definitely a warning sign. Another giveaway is your partner getting upset with you for setting boundaries. It is important to remember that some boundaries are important even in the healthiest relationship. One such boundary is not sharing passwords or confidential financial details with your partner.

3. You Think Your Partner Is Flawless

A couple looking at each other and smiling.
Image: Shutterstock

Love makes us see everything through rose-colored glasses! Your partner may seem flawless or almost perfect to you. You do not like people criticizing them, so you keep making excuses for them. You ignore all the red flags or peg their toxic behavior as not a big deal. You may even think that you can change or “fix” them. This is not a mature approach.

Do not blindly trust the person. Weigh your options and think of the consequences before you make any major commitment. Over-the-top romantic gestures, promises that seem too good to be true, and big dreams without any plans are all warning signs of a relationship moving too fast.

Another thing to beware of is trauma bonding. It is possible to feel emotional attachment towards someone who is manipulative, abusive, or narcissistic. Common or shared experiences, especially of suffering or grief, may make you feel connected to someone. The familiarity may keep you from seeing your partner objectively.

4. You Idealize The Relationship

If either of the partners tends to romanticize love, they may end up idealizing the relationship. This results in chasing a feeling and losing touch with the ground reality and not focusing on compatibility with each other. They want that picture-perfect movie romance or #couplegoals you see on Instagram. They are more interested in keeping up appearances, so the relationship stays at a superficial level. This kind of relationship may reach all the milestones pretty quickly but will fall apart easily as it lacks a foundation.

It is important to learn everything about each other – likes, dislikes, value system, deal-breakers. This builds an emotional connection and helps you see the bigger picture. Love, respect, and appreciate the real person, not the idea you made up in your head about them. This will help you steer away from the fantasies you have created about the perfect partner or relationship and help you build a healthy one. This will also help you set up realistic expectations for each other. It is essential to listen actively to each other and build everything on a solid basis. People are extraordinary in their uniqueness and can have different desires and attitudes. One can be a “Prince Charming” even if he doesn’t ride a white horse!

5. Extravagant Romantic Gestures

A boyfriend surprising his girlfriend with a gift.
Image: Shutterstock

Romantic getaways, showering each other with expensive gifts, flattery, and saccharine sweet nicknames early on in the relationship are warning signs of things moving too fast. Although these are normal once the relationship has progressed a bit, the intensity and timing can help you understand if someone is manipulating you.

Mushy words and attention can make you swoon, but try to stay on your guard if it’s in the initial stages of the relationship. Sometimes, people use them to try to hide their toxic traits or because they enjoy the chase. Either way, it may end up in heartbreak.

It is easy to get caught up in the passion, but slowing down things is important for both partners to be on the same page.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Another sign is when your relationship starts feeling like a fairytale and a lot of unrealistic promises, like getting married right away or achieving financial freedom too soon, are made.

6. Rebound Relationship

When you start dating immediately after a breakup, the chances are you still haven’t recovered from the end of the previous relationship. To avoid heartache and loneliness, you may jump into a relationship. These kinds of relationships move at a fast pace. You may use it as a distraction or to show that you are “winning” the breakup. It is important to acknowledge the end of a relationship, mourn it, and then move on. If you are not ready for the next relationship, you will end up messing it up. Take a break for a few months after a breakup before you start dating seriously. This gives you time to introspect and build yourself up.

7. You Have Already Met Their Friends And Family

Couple looking at each other after meeting the man's parents.
Image: Shutterstock

If you met their friends and family after only a few weeks of dating, it is a definite sign that your relationship pace is too fast. Meeting family is an important milestone and should not be done frivolously. It can be uncomfortable meeting them in the initial stages of the relationship. It could be awkward to have discussions about things you don’t know about each other.

Try to meet each other’s friends and family only after you both have spent a good amount of time together. Do not rush into hanging out with your partner’s friends.

Now that you have figured out if your relationship is moving too fast, how do you move forward from here? Find out in the next section.

Is Moving Too Fast In A Relationship A Bad Thing? How Can You Handle It In A Healthy Way?

A couple is staring at each other in an uncertain manner.
Image: Shutterstock

Yes, moving too fast in a relationship is bad for the people involved as it sets up false expectations. The versions you know of each other may not be authentic as you didn’t get to spend enough time together. Here’s how you can handle a relationship that seems to be moving too fast:

1. Be Honest

Be transparent about your concerns. Have a discussion about the way things are going. Let them know what you want, be it a commitment or a slow-paced dating situation. Be gentle yet firm and avoid accusatory statements or blaming your partner. It is a tricky situation, but the only way out is through it! Clearly articulate why you think the relationship is moving too fast and how you can cool things off.

Your partner’s reaction will help you understand their intentions and character. If they are understanding and try to make you comfortable, then you are in good hands. Just make sure you both respect each other. Chances are that both of you got carried away.

2. Work On Yourself

No one is perfect. Try to spend time building the best version of yourself so you can have a great relationship. Boost your self-esteem. Be true to yourself and introspect because self-reflection can help you develop a strong identity.

Divide your time wisely and maintain a healthy work-life balance. This will keep you occupied so you don’t get obsessed with the relationship. Work on your goals, dreams, and hobbies. Do something productive with your time. Remember: the relationship is only one part of life. It is also important to never cancel yourself for another trying to please him/her. You need to follow your goals and dreams just like anyone else, and this must be respected.

Another thing to remember is to not make concrete plans for the future with your partner. You never know what the future holds. So for the first few months, just go with the flow.

3. Socialize

Spend time with your friends and family. This will keep you happy and emotionally content. It will also give you a great support system.

Arrange for double dates so you can keep the relationship from moving too fast. This will help balance the dynamics of the relationship and keep tabs on your relationship.

Lastly, wait at least 3-6 months before you introduce your partner to your family and friends. In fact, unless you are sure they are serious about them, do not invite them to family gatherings.

4. Pause

Take mini-breaks, like weekend getaways with friends or family, so you are not spending 24/7 with your partner. Give each other space. Avoid constant texting or phone calls. It is important to communicate, but it is better to keep it healthy. Set strict boundaries so you both are on the same page.

Healthy coping notwithstanding, what is the outcome of moving too fast in a relationship? Read on to find out.

Consequences Of Moving Too Fast In A Relationship

A dissatisfied woman in conversation with her partner.
Image: Shutterstock

In the beginning, the rush of passion, attraction, and love can really take logic out the window. You take leaps of faith, thinking that nothing could be better. But, when these feelings subside, and the rose-tinted glasses slip, you feel lost as an individual, and your relationship appears a mistake.

Rushing into big decisions when newly in love forgoes the building of a strong and stable foundation for the relationship. Coming down from the high, you may realize that both of you do not share the same values and goals, or worse, it was merely an infatuation. Seeing your partner without these filters is a harsh reality check that inevitably leads to distress about the connection, or lack thereof, and eventual heartbreak from being unable to work it out together.

Infographic: Claim Yourself From An All-Consuming Relationship

Sometimes, things in a relationship move too fast and in such an appealing way that we barely realize what is happening. By the time we get down from the high, we notice how we have already restructured our entire life around our relationship. It does not sound healthy in any way. However, it is never too late! Check out the infographic below on ways to claim yourself from an all-consuming relationship.

claim yourself from an all consuming relationship (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

While every person and their connection is different, it is important to develop a mutually agreeable space to help sustain the relationship. The tell-tale signs of your relationship moving too fast can help you identify the difference in expectations and boundaries. Based on your personality types, likes, preferences, and expectations, you may or may not be ready for the next step in your relationship. Letting your partner know of your comfort level and maintaining boundaries is important in taking the relationship further in a stable manner.

Frequently Asked Questions

How fast should a relationship progress?

There is no specific timeline for how a relationship should progress since each relationship is unique. You can have an honest conversation with your partner and set expectations from the get-go so that both partners are on the same page.

Can a relationship that moves fast last?

While there is no guarantee that a relationship that moves too fast will last, there is no guarantee that it will come to an end also. Ideally, you and your partner should take things slow and spend more time together to keep the relationship blooming.

Can moving too fast in a relationship lead to feelings of being overwhelmed or suffocated?

Yes, when a relationship is going too fast, it can be difficult for one or both partners to keep up with it with the same emotional intensity. This can make them feel anxious, pressurized, or suffocated.

How can I set healthy boundaries and ensure my own emotional well-being if the relationship is progressing too quickly?

Some steps to set healthy boundaries to ensure your own well being include communicating your needs and concerns to your partner honestly, prioritizing your self-care activities such as exercise and meditation, and taking time out for yourself and your loved ones.

Are there any cultural or societal factors that contribute to the pressure of moving fast in relationships?

In some cases, the fear of staying alone, certain cultural expectations of getting married and starting a family at a certain age, and constant exposure of other people’s relationships on social media may contribute to it.

Can moving too fast in a relationship hinder the process of building trust and intimacy?

Trust and intimacy take time to develop and when a relationship moves too quickly, partners may not get a chance to develop a strong foundation of trust.

Key Takeaways

  • Finding the right person can cause you to rush your romance.
  • Your relationship might be moving too fast if you feel like your partner is perfect or you are losing your identity due to a lack of boundaries.
  • If this is the case, you may have false expectations and don’t fully realize who your partner is until you have fallen too far in love.
  • Create a healthy space and boundaries between you and your partner so you can move this relationship in the right direction.
signs your relationship is moving too fast

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team

Is your love story sprinting towards the finish line? Watch our video on the telltale signs that your relationship may be moving too fast. Slow down and find the balance!

Personal Experience: Source

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Rodolfo Parlati
Rodolfo ParlatiProfessional Life Coach
After having graduated in Business Administration, Rodolfo decided to follow his passion for supporting others by becoming a professional coach. Today, his mission is to help people be happy and successful by discovering their potential and finding together the right way to fully exploit it.

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