10 Signs You Are In A Situationship And How To Deal With It

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Have you ever wondered if you know anything about the person you are seeing? Do you feel unsure about where you stand with them? In a world where being commitment-phobic is normal, it is natural for people to look for casual relationships instead of commitment. Non-committal relationships have been around since forever, just with different names — booty calls, friends with benefits, and now, situationships.

This article answers all the questions you may have about situationship: What is it? What to do in a situationship? Do people prefer situationship or relationship? Let’s find out!

What Is A Situationship?

What Is A Situationship?


Being in a situationship is all the rage now! Less than a relationship and more than a friendship, situationships are neither here nor there. People might be in situationships during the first few dates when they are just getting to know each other. However, many situationships last longer, with both sides preferring to go with the flow instead of putting a label on the relationship.

You must be wondering, “Isn’t that the same as being friends with benefits?” Well, when it comes to a situationship vs. friends with benefits, the difference lies in the fact that in the latter, the people involved have one strict policy, and that is not to develop any feelings for the other! In situationships, however, the boundaries are blurry, and romantic feelings are within reach. And that is where it gets tricky.

Signs that you are in a situationship are quite apparent. For example, if you are seeing someone but are confused about the status of commitment between you, you might be stuck in a situationship. Head to the next section to know more about the signs that point towards a situationship.

10 Signs You Are In A Situationship

10 Signs You Are In A Situationship


Here are a few signs to help you figure out if you are in a situationship:

1. It Is A Relationship Without Labels

Non-committal relationships are never defined, and it is one of the prime situationship rules. Sure, you hang out and hook up, but that’s about it. If you have been seeing the person for a while but have not had the DTR (defining the relationship) talk, you might be in a situationship.

2. You Are Not Consistent

Unlike the consistency of a relationship, where people meet more frequently over time, situationships are all about sporadic meetings. You may see each other regularly for a while and then not hear from them for weeks.

3. You Are Stuck

Relationships have milestones. From saying ‘I love you’ for the first time to celebrating anniversaries, the intimacy increases with time. You know their favorite café, and they know your favorite bookstore. However, in situationships, you are stuck in the same place. Walking away from a situationship may be the right thing if you are looking for something serious, but they are not.

4. You Are Not A Part Of Their Social Circle

When you spend time with them, it is just the two of you. Their friends and family do not know you exist, and you are practically single to your acquaintances. Neither of you has a date for important events like engagement or wedding, and you might even be seeing other people outside this little arrangement. At times, one of you may want something more, which is natural. If that is not the case for both parties, breaking up this situationship may be the best option.

5. You Are Anxious And Confused

You Are Anxious And Confused


While many people prefer situationships, it is normal to feel confused with the lack of direction it brings. You are supposed to be in it to enjoy yourself, and if it gives you anxiety, you are better off without it! No healthy relationship should stress you out. If they make you feel more anxious than secure, leaving a situationship is probably for the best.

6. Your Plans Are Last Minute

Unless you are in a long-distance situationship that requires planning, you do not make any plans before meeting them. In addition to not being with each other on important events, situationships also involve random texts that say, ‘You up?’ or ‘Can we meet?’ at odd hours. The absence of plans paired with ambiguous responses solidifies the fact that you are not exclusively dating.

7. Canceling Is Always On The Table

Here’s the situationship psychology: You can cancel on each other any time, no questions asked. You must understand that in a situationship, neither of you owes an explanation to the other. In a relationship, people always find an alternative to canceled plans. However, a situationship does not need it!

8. There Are No Dates

Sure, you meet each other often. However, you do not go on actual dates. While the usual dating process involves wooing each other, getting to know them, and taking time out for them, you skip all these steps in a situationship and are DTF from the beginning. Take our situationship advice; if you do not feel up for it, you can always consider breaking off a situationship.

9. You Don’t Feel The Need To Talk

You may know where the person stays, maybe even the food they are allergic to or if they prefer mountains to beaches, but that is pretty much it! You would rather talk dirty than open up to them about your feelings. If that is the case for both of you and you are content with it, congratulations! You are in a fabulous situationship.

10. You Are Not A Part Of Their Future

If your questions are more like, ‘Do you want to have pizza or pasta for dinner?’ instead of ‘Do you want to get married sometime in the future?’, you are in a situationship. If what you have is not permanent, why do you need to talk about it? When you are in a situationship, you do not picture your future with the other.

Feelings are unpredictable, though. If you feel like you are falling for them and often imagine spending the future with them, you might want to talk about where you both stand. If you both feel commitment is the way forward, it is not difficult to turn a situationship into a relationship. Read on to know how to can achieve it.

Turning Situationship Into Relationship

Turning Situationship Into Relationship


Often, people prefer situationships to avoid the pressure of a relationship or simply because they are uncertain about what they feel about their partner.

Upgrading a situationship to a relationship needs proper consideration. If you are catching feelings for your partner, it is time for you to sit and have the DTR talk. Even though it is highly likely that one of you is way ahead with their feelings than the other — in which case getting over a situationship is the only option — falling in love in a situationship is not unheard of.

Many a time, people moving from situationship to relationship find happiness in commitment. Have an honest conversation with each other and give your partner the time to think about what you said. You may feel anxious or even scared of losing what you have, but you must know that you deserve something you truly want.

If you do not have a place in their future, it is better to focus on walking out of the situationship to avoid getting heartbroken. The next section discusses how you can keep your situationship going smoothly and when to contemplate hitting the breaks on it.

How To Deal With A Situationship

How To Deal With A Situationship


If you are okay with the current arrangement, it is fine. However, if you want something more, be clear about your feelings. We sometimes push our own needs aside to satisfy the other or maybe because we think they might change. Life is not a fairytale, and it is okay to consider how to fall back from a situationship if your wishes remain unfulfilled. In the end, it is your decision!

If you realize that you want different things, you should step out of the situationship before it gets toxic. You can talk to them in person, end things over a call, or drop a text. However, healing from a situationship may take time owing to the unresolved feelings you may harbor. It is crucial to understand how to move on from a situationship, especially if you were the one who wanted something more. Look at the situationship as a learning experience and be careful before agreeing to something similar again.

The Takeaway

Overall, it is vital to remember that your feelings come first. If you want to go from a situationship to a relationship or end the arrangement altogether, no one has the power to judge you. Feelings are complicated, and unless you feel content, you have every right to walk away. On the other hand, if you are not ready to settle and things are working out just fine, feel free to stay in the situationship and make the most of it!

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