11 Important Rules To Build A Successful Second Marriage

Healthy boundaries, honest communication, and tolerance are key to making a marriage work.

Reviewed by Joseph Moore, Certified Relationship And Life Coach Joseph Moore Joseph MooreCertified Relationship And Life Coach
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English Literature) Madhumati Chowdhury MA (English Literature) Experience: 7 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA Experience: 3 years

It’s ok if your first marriage had run its course. That does not mean you cannot build a successful second marriage. Yes, the trauma of an unsuccessful marriage and divorce can take a toll on your health, and healing from it can take time. But life is full of surprises and challenges. Opening yourself up to love will only open doors to many fulfilling experiences with your second life partner. Isn’t that what life is about – experiencing it to the fullest? Meeting someone that you connect with and developing feelings is a part of it too.

Unsuccessful first marriages are like lessons. This article discusses the top rules to make your second marriage successful, meaningful, happier, and long-lasting. Check them out!

Rules For A Successful Second Marriage

1. Practice Being Vulnerable

Practice being vulnerable for a successful second marriage
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Be confident and more open with your partner. Discuss minor matters, like meals or daily schedules, before you tackle the bigger issues like managing finances or disciplining kids. Take small steps to open up and be more vulnerable. This does not mean being weak but only means being more open and allowing yourself to experience all forms of emotions.

2. Build A Culture Of Appreciation, Respect, And Tolerance

Make it a habit to express what you love and cherish about your SO. The idea is to show love and appreciation when your partner does something right. For instance, you can thank them for doing the dishes or appreciate them for being kind to you.

3. Avoid Misunderstandings By Discussing Expectations

You need to take a risk and deal with hurt feelings, more so if it is an important issue. Don’t stonewall and shut down. If there is a problem, a good fight will clear the air. You need to know that you can survive conflict, and, in fact, even learn from it.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Approach conflicts with a growth mindset, viewing challenges as opportunities for personal and relationship development.

4. Create A Relaxed Atmosphere To Interact With Your Partner

Create a relaxed atmosphere for a successful second marriage
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If you need something, ask in an assertive, but non-aggressive way. Be willing to see the other person’s side of the story. Respond to your partner’s bids for affection, attention, and support. This can be something as simple as making tea for them or as important as accompanying them to visit an ill parent.

5. Prepare For Conflict

Conflict does not mean the end of your marriage. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. In fact, 69% of the issues in a marriage go unresolved. But don’t lose heart! Conflict can be managed successfully and your marriage can thrive! Take a short break if you feel overwhelmed and then try to restore positive communication with your partner.

6. Accept Your Role As A Stepparent

A stepparent’s role is one of a mentor, an adult friend, and a supporter rather than a strict disciplinarian. Learn new methods and strategies and share your ideas with your partner. There is no such thing as instantaneous love. When stepparents feel disrespected or unappreciated by their stepchildren, they may have difficulty bonding with them. This causes immense stress for the step family.

7. Communicate Effectively

Communicate effectively for a successful second marriage
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Accept responsibility for your part in a disagreement or conflict. Listen to their requests and ask for explanations for issues that are still unclear to you. Do not be accusatory.

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Ensure to not drag in your spouse’s past or compare your present marriage and the past one. This will only complicate things even more.

8. Establish An Open-Ended Dialogue

Don’t issue ultimatums or make threats. Avoid stating things you will regret later. Money is one common topic remarried couples argue about. Full disclosure about finances is very important for the success of the remarriage. Being transparent with your partner will prevent resentment from building up.

9. Attune To Your Partner

Body posture and eye contact establish your intention to listen as well as compromise. Practicing emotional attunement while relaxing together will help you both stay connected despite your differences. Loving one another and showing mutual empathy are important.

10. Practice Forgiveness

Practice forgiveness for a successful second marriage
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We all have flaws, and we need to accept that. Forgiveness isn’t the same as forgetting and condoning the wrong done to you. It simply means moving on and recalling that you both are on the same team.

11. Be Self-Aware

Last but not least, you need to be well aware of yourself and the impact your actions can have. No matter which side was responsible for a failed previous relationship or marriage, there surely were some lessons for your own personal growth. Revisit them, know what you would not like repeated again, and in what ways you would like to build a new marriage. Only when you are completely self-assure, can you execute the other rules, while feeling appreciated, loved, valued, and doing the same in return. Understand that a marriage requires seamless teamwork, but at the end of the day, the team comprises two individuals who come from different worlds that have shaped their identity. So, while you respect your partner’s individuality, respect your own before expecting them to understand and respond as you need.

The best way to ensure your second marriage succeeds is to create a habit of practicing respect and appreciation in your home. It also is crucial to take the risk and be vulnerable with your partner. This will enable you both to build trust and intimacy.

With mutual respect and understanding, your second marriage will definitely sustain. Do not indulge too much in the past and feel sad about your failed first marriage. Life is all about learning from mistakes and moving forward to do great things. The tips discussed in the article will help you understand the essential things you must focus on. In this way, you can maintain harmony in your second marriage. Have faith in yourself and your bond. And if your love is genuine, you will indeed have a successful second marriage.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are second marriages more successful?

It would be wrong to assume that the count of marriage holds any substance in determining whether or not a marriage will be successful. Instead, trust, commitment, understanding, and compatibility are some significant factors that ascertain the success of a marriage.

Why are second marriages better?

Seconnd marriages can be better because the couple feels grateful about finding love and companionship again.

Why are second marriages so hard?

The biggest sabotaging factor could be when couples rush for remarriage before discovering themselves. Apart from that multiple factors, including adjustment issues with kids, repeating the mistakes of the past relationship, in-laws issues may make second marriages challenging.

Key Takeaways

  • Most people attempting second marriages are more “careful” than the first.
  • They don’t love their partner wholeheartedly because they are afraid of another divorce. They don’t want to be vulnerable and open their heart to love without holding back.
  • It is easy for the other partner who is not getting the love they deserve to feel cheated and slide into resentment. Hence, It is important to express gratitude and appreciation to your spouse.
  • If your second marriage must succeed, you must love your partner with the same energy you used in loving the first.

Looking for a fulfilling second marriage full of companionship and love? Watch this informative video to learn about the essential components that can lead you to establishing a fruitful and satisfying bond. Click play to know more.

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Joseph Moore

Joseph MooreCertified Relationship And Life Coach

Joseph Moore is an ace relationship coach and public speaker who started coaching in 2015. Although Joseph is a trained electrical engineer from the University of Chester, he found passion in helping people get it right with their love life. His passion and experience of over 6 years made him set up a relationship blog where he shares relationship advice...read full bio

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