10 Rules For A Successful Second Marriage

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Going through the trauma of an unsuccessful marriage and the subsequent divorce can affect one’s understanding of love and relationships. You can get disillusioned and feel skeptical about true love. But there are chances you may feel real love again. You may meet someone suddenly and begin to have feelings you haven’t had in a long time. This is not wrong; this is just one of those wonders of being human.

If your first marriage hasn’t been successful, it is time to learn from it. In this article, we have discussed the top rules that can help you make your second marriage more successful, much meaningful, and happier. Take a peek!

Rules For A Successful Second Marriage

1. Practice Being Vulnerable


Be confident and more open with your partner. Discuss minor matters, like meals or daily schedules, before you tackle the bigger issues like managing finances or disciplining kids. Take small steps to open up and be more vulnerable. This does not mean being weak but only means being more open and allowing yourself to experience all forms of emotions.

2. Build A Culture Of Appreciation, Respect, And Tolerance

Make it a habit to express what you love and cherish about your SO. The idea is to show love and appreciation when your partner does something right. For instance, you can thank them for doing the dishes or appreciate them for being kind to you.

3. Avoid Misunderstandings By Discussing Expectations

You need to take a risk and deal with hurt feelings, more so if it is an important issue. Don’t stonewall and shut down. If there is a problem, a good fight will clear the air. You need to know that you can survive conflict, and, in fact, even learn from it.

4. Create A Relaxed Atmosphere To Interact With Your Partner


If you need something, ask in an assertive, but non-aggressive way. Be willing to see the other person’s side of the story. Respond to your partner’s bids for affection, attention, and support. This can be something as simple as making tea for them or as important as accompanying them to visit an ill parent.

5. Prepare For Conflict

Conflict does not mean the end of your marriage. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. In fact, 69% of the issues in a marriage go unresolved. But don’t lose heart! Conflict can be managed successfully and your marriage can thrive! Take a short break if you feel overwhelmed and then try to restore positive communication with your partner.

6. Accept Your Role As A Stepparent

A stepparent’s role is one of a mentor, an adult friend, and a supporter rather than a strict disciplinarian. Learn new methods and strategies and share your ideas with your partner. There is no such thing as instantaneous love. When stepparents feel disrespected or unappreciated by their stepchildren, they may have difficulty bonding with them. This causes immense stress for the step family.

7. Communicate Effectively


Accept responsibility for your part in a disagreement or conflict. Listen to their requests and ask for explanations for issues that are still unclear to you. Do not be accusatory.

8. Establish An Open-Ended Dialogue

Don’t issue ultimatums or make threats. Avoid stating things you will regret later. Money is one common topic remarried couples argue about. Full disclosure about finances is very important for the success of the remarriage. Being transparent with your partner will prevent resentment from building up.

9. Attune To Your Partner

Body posture and eye contact establish your intention to listen as well as compromise. Practicing emotional attunement while relaxing together will help you both stay connected despite your differences. Loving one another and showing mutual empathy are important.

10. Practice Forgiveness


We all have flaws, and we need to accept that. Forgiveness isn’t the same as forgetting and condoning the wrong done to you. It simply means moving on and recalling that you both are on the same team.

The best way to ensure your second marriage succeeds is to create a habit of practicing respect and appreciation in your home. It also is crucial to take the risk and be vulnerable with your partner. This will enable you both to build trust and intimacy.

Determination, acceptance, respect, positive communication, and having a good laugh together can go a long way in ensuring your second chance at marriage is successful and lasts a lifetime.

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