How To Start A Conversation On Tinder – 6 Ways

The best ways to make your first move and leave a lasting impression on your Tinder match

Reviewed by Ronald Hoang, Relationship & Family Counselor Ronald Hoang Ronald HoangRelationship & Family Counselor linkedin_iconyoutube_icon
Written by , MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Shivani Chandel MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc linkedin_icon Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
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First impressions are always crucial in any context. And the same holds true for your conversations on Tinder. So, how to work your way through Tinder conversation starters without feeling awkward? Unfortunately, most people do not know how to start a conversation and avoid making it way too personal.

If you are new to an online dating app like Tinder, this post is for you. In this dating application, conversations happen in three phases – initiating, having the conversations, and ending. Therefore, it is essential to strike a smooth conversation to progress from one phase to another.

A survey of 6,034 U.S. adults reveals that Tinder is the predominant choice among online dating users, with nearly half of them and approximately 8 in 10 users having reported using the platform. This makes Tinder the most widely used dating platform in the U.S. among the eight sites or apps measured in the survey.

This article explores how you can initiate a conversation on Tinder, ways to break the ice with your lines, and what actually to do during the conversation. Scroll down for more information.

How To Initiate A Conversation On Tinder That Goes Somewhere

1. Make The First Move

Initiation is the hardest part of the conversation, and it’s easy to say why. You are going into conversations with people you don’t know very well, and nobody wants to be rejected.

However, conversations cannot proceed to the next phase if you don’t initiate them. So, grit your teeth and jump in! Just go through the talk as best you can, no matter what happens!

Breaking the ice makes initiating conversations so challenging. However, once you get past that stage, connecting with something in common interest becomes a lot easier.

2. Just Saying ” Heyyy” Won’t Work

That’s too informal, and you are taking the risk of coming across as creepy. Think about how you would typically start an interaction with someone new and do exactly that! If initiating gets too awkward, ask a question or make a comment as it can lead from one topic to another.

Jake, a blogger sharing about his online dating escapades, while on a dating app found out that opening with a “Hi” wasn’t going to cut it: “Stick to the rules, debate long and hard on their qualities and finally make my judgements.

Putting so much consideration into each potential match has strange effects…. I remember panicking after seeing ‘say something more interesting than hi’ on a girl’s profile for the first time, having used the scorned greeting on several occasions already. Was that an unwritten rule I’d been breaking (i)?”

If you want to make the conversation interesting, use conversation starters instead of common ones like “Where are you from?” or “What do you do?” Here are some examples of some clever conversation starters:

  • Has anyone ever told you that you look like [insert celebrity]?
  • What’s the worst lie you’ve ever told?
  • Help! I need a new series to binge on. Please, it’s urgent.
  • I almost dropped my phone when we matched. Just wanted to let you know you already have that effect on me.
  • What is a weird food combination that you enjoy?
  • If you had to describe yourself with three words, what would they be?
  • If you could do anything without getting caught, what would it be?
  • What’s that one thing you’re really good at?
protip_icon Pro Tip
Instead of starting the conversation by overly complimenting your match on their looks, try initiating it by inquiring about something they mentioned about themselves on their profile. This shows that you made an effort to go through their profile and are interested to get to know them.

The questions mentioned above are intriguing and make the other person think and help you know them better.

3. Show Genuine Interest With Personalized Opening Lines

Initiating a conversation on Tinder can be difficult. You are not sure what to say or how to start the convo without sounding too boring or desperate. Also, it’s easy to get tongue-tied and awkward. So, it helps if you have an opening line ready. This is where clever pickup lines come in handy – they will give you some momentum right from the start.

Regardless of who you are communicating with, here are some great inspirations that will work wonders:

  • Which sums up your Sunday breakfast style? Homemade waffles, fruit smoothie, orange juice, or sleeping past noon?
  • What’s something you always wanted to learn but haven’t had time for?
  • Which is your favorite dessert? Swiss chocolate, Lemon chiffon cake, or mint choco chip on a cone?

Remember, it’s also important to be yourself. You don’t want to attract someone who likes a pseudo-version of you, but someone who genuinely likes your personality and the person you are.

4. Ask A Question To Bring Forth Emotions

Begin the conversation with an open-ended question or initiate a topic that you know the person will be interested in. It’s the best way to get some traction going and keep them from stalling out.

For instance, you can ask about their likes and dislikes, hobbies, and what they do during the weekends. Asking a question will initiate a conversation naturally. It’s a good way to start, and it can get them talking.

Initiating the conversation with a question about their shared experiences will show that you are truly interested in them. It puts both parties on the same page, even if subconsciously.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Initiate a conversation with an open-ended question that requires more than a one-word answer or a ‘yes or no’ response to encourage a more meaningful conversation.

5. Let Things Take Their Own Course

You should save deeper conversations for the later stage of your bond. Start with fun and light topics to see if the chemistry works. You don’t want to bore people with a lot of stuff about your life before they even have a chance to get to know you on a personal level.

You can also play the game of two truths and a lie. As the name suggests, a person says three statements about themselves of which two are true and one is a lie. You need to guess the lie. When you run out of topics to talk with each other, this game can breathe life into your conversation. It could be a fun way to break the ice and learn new things about each other as well. You choose the information you want your match to know about you and vice versa. It gives you an opportunity to share lighthearted anecdotes from each other’s life and discover common interests between the two of you.

When in doubt, just stick to the basics. Be aware of what not to do when you are communicating on Tinder.

  • Don’t make any assumptions about the other person.
  • Don’t be rude or insensitive.
  • Avoid asking too many questions. It always helps to listen to what they have to say.
  • Don’t use cheesy pickup lines or ask for a date right off the bat.
  • Don’t try to make your conversation a job interview.
  • Don’t list off a bunch of boring details from your life story.
  • Don’t talk about your ex or past relationships.
  • Don’t be boring and repetitive.

6. Closing The Conversation For The Day

Ending the conversation on Tinder is important to keep what you have going. Don’t be afraid of awkward silences or not knowing what to say next if you want your match to respond. Instead, use these moments for self-reflection and introspection about why this person may have liked you. The more effort you put into ending a conversation, the less likely they will stop talking with you.

If you follow these simple steps, a conversation on Tinder is going to be manageable. You will also have plenty of meaningful things to talk about with the people you want.

What Actually To Do During The Conversation

  • Don’t be overly aggressive or try to turn it into a job interview.
  • Compliment your date when needed. You could even ask them how they became so good at what they do.
  • Emphasize that you want to know them better, and you are not just there for hookups. Show them that you can be trusted and someone they can open up to.
  • Don’t compare yourself with anyone or use the past as a benchmark. Your personality is your own, and it’s unique so let everyone know how special you are.
  • Focus on learning about their hobbies and passions.
  • Keep the conversation light and fun. Don’t get too serious with it.
  • Don’t judge them. Everyone has their insecurities and weaknesses, even if they don’t seem like it. Just be humane to them.
  • Be honest with who you are and what you want. Don’t brag about it, but you share positive aspects of your life and make them like you even more for being humble.
  • Don’t give up too easily. If you hit a stumbling block, take a break and return to the conversation later.
  • If you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to answer every question the other person asks you. Instead, just politely change the topic.
  • Don’t pretend about who you are and what your interests are. Don’t try to be someone else.
  • Take things slowly. Tinder conversation can be intimidating, so keep things light, relax, and enjoy the talk.
  • If your conversation isn’t going great, end it on a good note and try again later. Look for things that both of you can agree on. If the other person seems to be bored or annoyed, stop talking immediately.

If you can get the first impression right on Tinder, there is nothing like it! Doing so will certainly increase your chances of scoring a date with that cutie you met online. The key is to go neither too slow nor too fast so that you don’t seem desperate. Show genuine interest in the conversation and back it up with open-ended questions, like asking about their hobbies, dislikes, and likes to keep the conversation going forward. If it gets boring, try out some clever pickup lines. Remember, save deeper and intimate conversations for later and focus on keeping things fun and light.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you start a flirty conversation on Tinder?

You can start with a fun and playful icebreaker without crossing the line. Remember, you are approaching the person for the first time. So, talk to them as you would in person. Complementing them about their looks or preferences is a safe way to begin.

How do I stop being boring on Tinder?

You can show genuine interest in their likes, hobbies, or preferences, and steer the conversation as per the person’s bio. Being proactive and asking questions without sounding desperate, creepy, or vulgar would help you pique their interest.

Key Takeaways

  • The first impression is always the best. So, do not expect a positive reply by simply saying ‘Heyy.’
  • Begin with clever conversation starters. Say a big no to common queries like ‘what do you do?’ and ‘where are you from?’
  • Beginning a conversation with open-ended questions help you take the discussion forward and strike a bond.
  • Save deeper conversations for later. Never sound desperate.


Are you fed up with not getting suitable replies from people you swiped right on Tinder? The following video will guide you through texting skills in the world of online dating. Check it out to learn more.

Personal Experience: Source

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Ronald Hoang

Ronald HoangRelationship & Family Counselor

Ronald Hoang is a clinical counselor/psychotherapist based in Sydney, Australia, with close to a decade of experience. He graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology from Macquarie University and a postgraduate degree in counseling from the Australian College of Applied Professions. He has received training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Post-Milan Systemic Family Therapy, Gottman Method, Play Therapy Dimensions, and Child...read full bio

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