All About Toxic Girlfriends: Ideas To Make Things Better

Written by Sushmita Barman

Uh oh! Dealing with a toxic girlfriend, are you? Well, what can we say? You probably often feel like you’re tied to a walking disaster. We get you. While we want to help you sail your loveship as smoothly as possible, we also want you to acquaint yourself with everything related to a toxic human being. However, we are in no way suggesting you to go ahead and simply give up, as we strongly believe that’s not how any problems should be dealt with. A relationship demands maturity from all parties, and we are here to help you handle it with utmost care and understanding. So, before we get into the business, let us understand the inherent meaning of it.

What Defines This Girlfriend?

Your girlfriend, knowingly or unknowingly, could have a negative aura about her. As you have to deal with this personality on a regular basis, chances are that her presence itself has become a toxic element in your life. From scouring for the silliest of reasons to pick an utterly unnecessary fight to displaying narcissistic characteristics, this girlfriend does it all.

So, now that we have a basic understanding of its definition, we can proceed and understand their many traits to answer your “Is my girlfriend toxic?” query. Let’s find them out and see if you can recognize them too:

10 Signs Of A Toxic Girlfriend And Its Harmful Impacts On A Relationship

  • All Take And No Give: This girlfriend will often make you feel like the relationship is a one-way street. Be it gifts, time, or attention from you, she is happy taking it all but is absent when she has to reciprocate and give. She will constantly want your time and attention, but when it comes to offering the same to you, she’ll clearly deny it.
  • Dishonesty And Lack Of Transparency: A girlfriend who is toxic for the relationship is barely ever honest with you. Deceiving, lying, betraying are certain activities that she aces at. She will make sure to know every bit about you but never disclose anything about herself.
  • Defense Mode – Her Prized Possession: This girlfriend never accepts her mistake. She’ll always keep a well-knit excuse story ready beforehand so that, when caught lying to you, she’ll use them to cover her mistakes.
Toxic Girlfriend And Its Harmful Impacts

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  • Highly Manipulative: Oh, a girlfriend filled with toxicity has already mastered the art of manipulating people. So, it is no surprise that she’ll employ her manipulation skills on you as well. For instance, if at some point she commits a mistake or is caught betraying, instead of apologizing, she’ll, in fact, skillfully send you on a guilt trip for even questioning her. That’s too bad. Yep.
  • Keeps You On The Leash: This girlfriend of yours finds immense pleasure in controlling every bit of your life. They might either use an extra sweet voice or a harsh tone to keep track of your whereabouts all the time. There will be no healthy space between you as you’ll find yourself juggling between finding a cab at midnight immediately and ringing her to explain why you’re late, just to get misunderstood still. You will completely forget how life outside a relationship even looked like, for you will have none.
  • Lack Of Compassion: She is not compassionate towards anyone at all. Hence, if you are distressed and are expecting some sort of sympathy from her, be ready to get none. She’ll pay no heed to your suffering no matter how much you express it.
  • The Blame Game: She’ll make sure to twist and turn difficult situations and pin the blame on you if anything goes wrong. In fact, she’ll make small misses look like a severe mistake and make you feel terribly sorry for almost no reason at all. She just loves the blame game like crazy.
  • Bring Back Resolved Issues To Win Arguments: A girlfriend of this kind tends to remind you of your mistakes over and over. The slip-ups that have been dealt with earlier will see their place in every upcoming argument. She does this mostly when she’s on the losing side of a fight. This is more like her weapon against you.
  • Fake Apologies If At All Offered: Usually, this girlfriend will never apologize for her mistakes. However, in case she does, she will never mean it. She’ll only make you feel as though she’s sorry so she can escape from the fight and tell the world that she’s sorry.
  • Victim-card: Oh, my, the victim-card. This one actually tops the list, but anyway, since we have already begun, let’s talk about it now. See, this girlfriend is filled with all the poisonous traits, and to conceal them all, she always plays the victim card. So that nobody questions her wrong-doings, she somehow uses her tactics to pose as though she’s the only one hurting her. She makes you feel terribly sorry, and commits endless mistakes again, and raises the victim card again too, and this cycle just goes on and on and on!

How To Deal With A Toxic Girlfriend

When your relationship begins to cause you excruciating pain because of your girlfriend, who is toxic, you need to understand it is not healthy for you at all. And in this case, you have to find ways to eliminate all the negativity that is impacting the relationship. So, let us have a glance at these ways:

  • Acceptance: Well, if you look around, you will see many people tied to a toxic partner. But most of them, despite knowing their situation, find it extremely difficult to accept that they are really in a complicated relationship. And this is when things go astray. Once you acknowledge that the relationship has turned toxic for you, then you can gather all your broken pieces and work towards improving it and saving yourself from further damage. So, when you know that you’re in this uncomfortable relationship, say to yourself that you are. Of course, the toxicity looming in the air will also cloud your vision and judgment, making it further cumbersome to identify the red flag. But sit down for a while and analyze the relationship. You’ll know when you know. For. Sure. And you shouldn’t delay accepting after this.
  • Tell Them The Truth Instantly: Look, you can’t sit there quietly and suffer. A relationship is born out of love and is supposed to fill your life with happiness. Minor setbacks are inevitable, but you don’t remain in a relationship where you don’t get any chance to taste joy at all. You deserve to be happy; hence, before it’s too late, let them know how they make you feel. Express clearly when they hurt you. Chances are, sometimes they might not be aware that their behavior towards you is causing you pain. So maintain transparency in the relationship and make them understand that they are hurting you bad.
  • Meditate To Calm Yourself: Your girlfriend’s behavior will undoubtedly frustrate you. To this end, you will lose your calm. And in the race of trying to find your rightful respect back, you might, too, end up saying things that you didn’t mean, which will take the relationship to a dead end. So, meditate. Or focus on your hobbies. Maybe, go out on vacation and clear your head. This helps when you are wondering how to talk to your girlfriend about problems. Once you feel better, talk things out with her at the right time and place.
  • Seek Professional Help: You can knock on the door of those couple counseling sessions and learn how to salvage your situation. The relationship experts will provide you with a streamlined procedure to find the middle ground in all of your feuds. Primarily, in integrated sessions for situations like these, you will obtain essential insights into understanding the flaws and correcting them better.

How To Stop Being A Toxic Girlfriend

If you are one among toxic girlfriends or even a toxic ex-girlfriend yourself and landed in this article to learn how to stop being one, then kudos to you, girl! It takes real guts to accept one’s flaws and correct them when necessary. And since you are one of those who’s shed away all that harmful pride, then we are always here to render you the service and assist you in improving yourself. For the same, we suggest you read the below-mentioned points and follow them religiously to achieve your goal:

  • Identify Your Mistakes: Well, it might seem that apologizing should be the first step, but doing that without prior knowledge of your deeds will not help. You must know what wrong you’ve done so that you can avoid them going ahead. For which you need to sit down, relax and then begin identifying all the things you did to hurt your sweet bae. Once you’ve done it, you can plan ahead.
  • Apologize: No matter how old that fault of yours was, if you didn’t apologize before, then it’s still not too late to do it now. This will make your bae realize that you really mean and are willing to eliminate all the negative aspects of the relationship and move ahead with a positive attitude. So apologize whenever you make a mistake going forward too.
  • Offer Space: Your sweetheart is in dire need of some space. Give them that. Allow them to do their own thing. This will allow both of you to recollect all the good times you spent before, which will eventually bring you two love birds closer together!
  • Attain Calmness: You’re in a healing phase of your life. The toxicity has done immense damage to you too. So what’s better than meditation to attain that much-needed calm? So, practice it, find your center. You will find the light of the day and thrive further both in the relationship and your personal life as well.

And before anything else, it is crucial for you to realize that you have been together for a while for a reason. That reason is “Love.” So love is enough to make you both heal gradually and restore all the affections that you always had for each other. Now, cheer up, and get into the business. ASAP!

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