Unrequited Love: Types, Signs, And 10 Tips To Deal With It

Knowing the A-Z of this type of love can save you from experiencing a great deal of pain.

By Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Unrequited love is filled with emotional upheavals while your intended is blissfully unaware of what you are feeling. Love exists without rules or rhymes. That tender feeling arouses your senses, and before you know it, you are in love with someone.

There are times when this love is unrequited or one-sided. It might have been a friend, a college classmate whom you secretly admired, or an actor you admired, who wasn’t even aware of you. It is natural to fall in love, and it is fine to admire someone secretly. You can go to great lengths to develop unrequited feelings for someone, but it can be heartbreaking if they don’t reciprocate.

Unrequited love hurts. This article explores unrequited love and how you can resolve the pain it brings. Find out more below.

What Is Unrequited Love?

Unrequited love is single-sided love. It is about having loving or romantic feelings for someone without being aware if they feel the same for you. These secret feelings are not rewarded, and this one-sided love can often leave a person in pain and sorrow. The person may eventually develop feelings of disapproval or rejection, making their life further difficult.

There are various types of unrequited love. Identifying what you are experiencing can help you overcome it.

Types Of Unrequited Love

  • Having feelings for someone who is already in a relationship
  • Loving someone who doesn’t have similar feelings
  • Having a feeling for your ex after a breakup (or after they have moved on)
  • Common love feelings between two people involved in other relationships

Unrequited love can also start from casual dating when one person’s feelings become deeper while the other person doesn’t feel the same.

How do you know if you are experiencing unrequited love? The following section can help you understand.

Signs Of Unrequited Love

  • They Feel No Connect

You are looking forward to making a deeper connection with the person you love but they do not think the same and maintain their distance while you try to get closer. If it is only you who is trying to make all the effort by checking on them, it is unrequited love. Their lack of interest in you can be seen in their casual behavior.

You might try to win over the person you love by developing the same interests as them. But if they don’t do anything in return for you, it could be a sign of unrequited love.

If they also had the same feeling for you, they would have taken the initiative to connect deeply with you by interacting more and getting to know you better.

  • They Take A Long Time To Respond

You keep showering them with deep messages and they take ages to reply. Sometimes, they may even not reply. All these could be signs that they have no intention to take the relationship ahead.

  • You Do Not Accept The Denial

Unrequited love is complicated and confusing. The other person may send you desirable signals at times, only that they could have meant something else. Maybe the compliments they pass are taken by you as a gesture of love. You find a hard time accept this, only to be further hurt by their inconsistent signals. They may not be deliberate, and you could only be overthinking.

  • Longing A Physical Touch

Be it any sort of love, a desire to kiss, touch, or hug the person you love is natural. If you are longing for this physical contact but the other person seems to show resistance, it could be a sign of unrequited love.

Why We Struggle To Move On From Unrequited Love

  • You Expect Or Hope For Too Much

Despite knowing that it is single-sided love, you still have a ray of hope that the other person may understand your feelings and reciprocate. However, this lingering hope can turn into a harsh reality as you cannot force someone to love you.

You need to understand that they may not be the one for you and be prepared to move on.

  • You Think It Is True Love

People usually find it difficult to move on in unrequited love as they believe it to be their true love. This very thought can keep you in shackles and keep you from moving on. But understand that your life won’t end here. It is sad that most people going through unrequited love find themselves obsessed with somebody. This cognitive state develops a desire for reciprocated feelings from a person, as a result of which they may get stuck thinking that their true love will be rewarded one day.

  • You Get Mixed Signals

At times, the kinds of signals and gestures you receive from the other person could keep you stuck. They are always ready to go on a casual dinner or lunch with you, but never reciprocate. They sometimes respond to your flirty texts and might completely ignore you the next day. All these scenarios can confuse you and keep you stuck. Such gestures can also make you believe that something great could happen between you two in the future.

While dealing with unrequited love is difficult, it is possible. Here is how.

How To Deal With Unrequited Love: 10 Tips

1. Maintain Space

Maintaining space doesn’t mean that you will completely start avoiding the other person. Instead, you can keep your friendship intact and try to see them as your friend.

2. Talk To Your Friends

If you have a friend you can blindly trust, share your emotions with them regarding the same. Doing so will make you feel better and their advice might help you move on.

3. Make New Friends

Try to involve yourself in making new friends rather than being stuck in one-sided love. This will divert your mind and make you feel better.

4. Do What You Have Been Long Waiting For

Unleash yourself and plan the vacation you always wanted to go for. Ask your friends if they can accompany you or just choose to go solo.

5. Pursue Your Passion

Are you passionate about painting, music, or dancing? Join a hobby class and explore your inner artist.

6. Invest In Yourself

You deserve to pamper yourself. Go on a shopping spree or take a relaxing spa appointment to calm yourself.

7. Explore Dating Sites

There are endless options for dating these days. Get yourself registered on a reputed dating site and find a new love interest who can match your feelings.

8. Prioritize Family Time

Family is important and the time you spend with them is worth remembering. So make the most of it. Get involved in leisure activities with your siblings or take your parents out on a lavish holiday.

9. Meditate

Yoga/meditation is a doorway to overcome many challenges. Spend time meditating as it can help you relax and wash off the negativity.

10. Stop Overthinking

The more you think about your unrequited love, the more it is going to hurt. Therefore, keep yourself occupied with a productive pursuit.

Unrequited love does not have to be a bitter experience. You sure can learn important lessons from the experience.

Lessons We Can Learn From Our Unrequited Love

  • You cannot force anyone to love you.
  • There is no point in getting stuck with one-sided love – it only would hurt you and waste your time and effort.
  • Unrequited love makes you learn the importance of accepting life the way it comes.
  • There is nothing that cannot be healed. Life goes on and unpleasantness fades with time.
  • Welcome those who value your company.
  • You deserve someone better and it is worth waiting for them.

Key Takeaways

  • Unrequited love is single-sided love.
  • It could be a close friend, a college classmate you secretly admire, or an actor you love who is completely unaware of your existence.
  • It can take some time to get back on track. However, to deal with it, make new friends, invest in yourself, meditate, explore dating sites, and more.

Unrequited love is one-sided love that is not reciprocated. The person you love may show a lack of interest in you, and it is clearly seen by their behavior. The most obvious sign of this is when they take a long time to respond to your calls or messages. It is hard to deal with this type of love. But by maintaining space, talking to your friends, and making new friends, you may divert your mind from the object of your affection and feel better. Accept the reality, try to move on, and start looking for someone you can build a healthy relationship with.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you be friends with unrequited love?

Yes, you can be friends with unrequited love if you are honest to yourself. Maintaining the required distance and boundaries is essential to keep the friendship working.

Is unrequited love infatuation?

It may begin as infatuation but ultimately love is more about caring for the other person. If you find yourself obsessing about the other person, then it could be infatuation and not love in the true sense.

How long does unrequited love last for?

It would vary from person to person. It depends on how long you take to accept things as they are and decide to move on or continue with the feeling of one-sided love.

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