It’s 2020, yet when it comes to showing interest and asking someone out, there is still a lot of pressure on ladies to wait to be asked out. Whether you are a junior high student considering asking your secret crush to prom or a grown-ass woman debating whether to start a conversation with that cutie on Tinder, you might feel pressured to adhere to traditional gender roles. It makes sense — these gender roles have been in place for thousands of years, after all. But, you need to remember this – just because some things are traditional does not mean you have to be. Here are a few pointers if you are planning to take that leap of faith.
Creative Ways To Ask A Guy Out
1. Write Him A Cute (Or Maybe Kind Of Cheesy) Poem
“Roses are red,
The sky is blue,
I think I am in trouble,
Because I really like you.”
If he can resist something so cute, girl, maybe he ain’t the one! You can make up your own silly poems that are personalized enough to make him blush.
2. Sing It, Girl!
If you are a good singer, host a karaoke party with your friends and your crush (tell him he will get free pizza. It will work 100%, we promise). When it is your turn to sing, choose a love song and sing it for him. If that doesn’t make it clear to him, nothing will. If you receive a favorable response (i.e., he blushes or smiles), ask him out on a date right before he leaves. Just remember – music is the language of love.
3. Ask Him Out On A Group Date
Many women — especially post-breakup — are too afraid to ask a guy out due to a fear of rejection. You may be a badass at work or the outgoing, wild one in your friends’ group, but the idea of getting turned down is simply more than you can stand. You just can’t take the hit on her confidence. So, this is the perfect strategy for you. If you just can’t get over the fear of being rejected, invite him to go out in a group. It will look like a bunch of buddies are just having a night out. And, if it turns out that is all he wants — to be just friends — then that is okay, too. Just go out and have a good time. You may feel sad that he doesn’t have feelings for you, but you may just end up with a new friend. On the other hand, he may spend time with you and realize there’s some chemistry between the two of you. Either way, it is a complete win-win situation.
Ways To Ask A Guy Out Without Getting Rejected
4. Try The “I’ve Got an Extra Ticket” Trick
Asking a guy out directly may seem daunting, but trust us when we say it works. That includes the age-old trick guys have been using – “I have an extra ticket for this really cool event. Wanna go with me?” If you have seen the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (if you haven’t, go watch it right now!), you will remember that Andie pulls the same trick for a highly-coveted basketball game. Could Benjamin resist? Of course not! But, do put some thought into what type of tickets you offer. Will he be interested in a Taylor Swift concert? (Only if he really likes you.) Otherwise, he will be more inclined to say ‘yes’ to going to a beer fest, a sporting event, or his favorite band’s concert. However, keep in mind that if he rejects your offer, you will be stuck with not one but two tickets, so make sure it is an event you really want to go to. Also, keep your BFF as a backup if your plan fails.
5. Leverage Your Mutual Interests
A boy in your friend circle is as into movies as you are. This could be an awesome opportunity for you to turn that obsession into a date. The smartest way to ask a guy out is by doing so in such a natural way that he has no clue you are asking him out. “So, they show ‘80s movies every Saturday at XYZ Theater. I heard that you are a movie buff, too. Interested?” Since you know he loves movies, there is a good chance that he will agree to go with you.
6. Use A Terrible Pickup Line
This tip is great if you want to ask a guy out at a party or a bar – a person you don’t know yet. You want to start a conversation but also make an impression. Guys often deliver cheesy pickup lines to get girls, so why not try one on him yourself? “Do I know you? Because you look an awful lot like my next boyfriend.” “If you were a veggie, you would be a cute-cumber.” “Cool shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?” “Shit, I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
You are not aiming to be smooth here, but to extract a laugh. Getting him to laugh will break the ice and make it easy for you to move in for the kill – uhhh, we mean, ask him out. At the very least, it will open the door for a conversation. You two can then try various pickup lines on each other and have a few laughs.
Ways To Invite A Guy Over Without Sounding Desperate
7. Buy Him A Drink
Here is another way to show interest in a guy and ask him out. This has been traditionally practiced by the guys, but there is no reason why you can’t. Send a drink over to a guy and give a confident head nod as the object of your interest looks up to see who sent him the Corona. This is not a common move used by women to woo men. This is precisely why it works so charmingly well! He will be so blown away by your confidence that he will walk over immediately and introduce himself. What will happen next, sexy diva, is completely up to you.
8. Have A Friend Talk To Him For You
If you are at a bar or a party, here is another good move. Women have been trying this since their school days because it works. Have your best friend go over to the guy you have been eyeing and ask him if he is single and ready to mingle. If he is, she can point you out and say a few nice things about you. You can pretend that you have no clue what is going on. Or, she can say: “My girlfriend can’t take her eyes off you, and I think she is being absolutely silly. Can I tell her you are absolutely not interested?” (Trying a little reverse psychology here). Or, maybe: “It is just me and my friend over there. Want to join us for a drink?” If he is with his friends, you can invite them all over. What guy can say ‘no’ to a tempting offer like that?
9. Ask Him Out For Coffee
Here is how to ask a man out without sounding desperate. Having coffee is such a mild activity that few people turn it down. If he is not into you and rejects the offer, all you have to say is, “Jeez. It’s just coffee and conversation. What did you think, I was proposing?” Bonus: He will feel like an idiot. (Insert evil laugh). Coffee is not a high-pressure situation. There is no great financial investment (something he may be afraid of) and no alcohol to make you do stupid stuff. And, it can easily be cut short! If things don’t go well, you can be in and out of there in under two hours. If it goes well, order another one!
10. Ask Him Out In Person
Give careful thoughtto how you want to ask the guy out. You can send a text, a snap, a DM, etc. However, it’s more intimate to express interest face to face. Think of a time when you will be least anxious — at a bus stop, in front of your friends, after school, at lunch, etc. Find the time and place that works best for you. You can also practice in the mirror what you are going to say. It can be as simple as, “Would you like to see that new Marvel movie on Sunday?” Plan a specific activity on a specific day – don’t keep it vague. It is always a better idea to say, “Would you like to go grab a coffee this Saturday? How about at 4:30?” than “Let’s hang out some time.”
If he says yes, then yay! Make sure you plan the date well and follow through. This means deciding on a date, place, time, and activity. If he says no, you need to respect that too. A big part of asking someone out is honoring their consent. Just shrug and move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
11. How To Ask A Guy Out Over Text
Texting can be a challenge because it is hard to decipher intent and attitude. How can you know if he is really into you? Are words and emojis enough? It can be hard to understand if a man is into you via text. So, it is good to have at least a few video or voice calls beforehand so you can better understand his interest. But, if he is consistently texting you every day and generally seems engaged in the conversation, the signs look good. Here are some tips on how to ask a man out over text. Keep it short and simple. Just say: “Do you want to grab a coffee with me this weekend?” Then, wait. He may not have even seen your text, so don’t keep blabbering – it is embarrassing. Try being cute. Try this: “Would you like to go out on a date with me? Text Y or N.”
Learning how to ask a man out on a date will take some practice – and some bravery. You may even get rejected sometimes. But, that’s alright. Getting turned down is not the end of the world. You don’t know what is going on in a guy’s life that made him decline your offer. He may have a girlfriend. He may be hurting from a breakup. He may be too busy to be in a relationship. He simply may not be looking to get into a relationship right now. Or – and this is crucial for you to know and accept – he may just not be that into you. So, don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that you are a hideous swamp monster. Be confident in knowing that he just isn’t the one, and take the rejection in stride. Use this experience as practice.
Have you ever asked a guy out? Share your experience in the comments section down below!