21 Best Ways To Get Over A Breakup & Move On Confidently

Grieve, give yourself time, heal, leave your past behind, and march ahead into a happy life.

Reviewed by Michele Waldron, Psy.D, LADC-I, CSCT Michele Waldron Michele WaldronPsy.D, LADC-I, CSCT facebook_iconlinkedin_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English Literature) Madhumati Chowdhury MA (English Literature) linkedin_icon Experience: 7 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA linkedin_icon Experience: 3 years
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Breakups are difficult to deal with, and don’t you sometimes wonder: if only there were a list of ways to get over a breakup? Well, your wish has been granted! We have handpicked the 21 best ways that ensure you get over the worst breakups and emerge as a more self-loving and confident person. These ways will equip you to transform the whirlpool of sadness, anger, anxiety, and guilt into peace, happiness, and everything positive. However, you should practice patience and perseverance and let time do its job. Scroll down to begin your journey!

How To Get Over A Breakup – 21 Best Ways

1. Give Yourself Some Time To Grieve

Whatever the reason might be for you and your partner to part ways, your emotions will need some time to heal and process on their own. A part of your healing process is the way you acknowledge your feelings. It is always good to vent it out by crying or talking to someone you have faith in. This will improve your mood and help you in the long run. Take some time to gather yourself and focus on your next steps.

Give Yourself Some Time To Grieve
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2. Take Good Care Of Yourself

Practicing self-care after a breakup is very important. Unhealthy eating, excessive drinking, and erratic sleep patterns can take a toll on your health. You might experience headaches, digestive issues, and anxiety. Thus, eat healthy food, get enough sleep, and avoid excessive drinking. Leaning on necessary and supportive people can be highly therapeutic for you. Listen to good music, read self-help books, and watch something relaxing to combat post-breakup stress.

protip_icon Pro Tip
Incorporate mindful practices such as yoga and meditation alongside activities such as running and swimming to boost your serotonin levels. This can help you regulate your moods and create a holistic self-care practice (1).
Take Good Care Of Yourself
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3. Connect With People

If a romantic relationship ends, that does not mean you’re alone in this world. Connect to your near and dear ones, close friends, or family, and spend some time with them. Lean on them and share your feelings. Talking and sharing things will help you heal better.

Connect With People
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4. Keep Yourself Busy

Engage yourself in activities that you love doing. Although this can be difficult in times of stress, keeping yourself busy works like therapy. Go out for a movie, concert, shopping, lunch, or maybe a regular coffee date with your best friend. Rediscover your hobbies and work on them.

Fisayo Adeyemi, a blogger, writes about her experience in handling breakups. She wrote about an early teenage breakup experience, She said, “Another thing that helped me then was being around people, I was so occupied with church activities and having friends around helped. So I really did not have any time to think about it like I used to (i).”

Keep Yourself Busy
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5. Do Not Look For A Rebound

Looking for a rebound immediately after your breakup is an impulsive decision. You might feel that a new person can be the perfect distraction, but that’s not the case. Take your time before meeting someone new. What do you want in your next relationship? Do you crave more independence? Do you want to be more honest with the other person? Take some time off to realize these things rather than being impulsive.

In a survey involving 30,474 adults in the United States, participants were asked about their perspectives on post-breakup coping strategies. 72% of them believe it’s better to take time alone right after a breakup. Only 9% prefer to start dating again quickly, while 18% are unsure about the best approach.

6. Maintain A Journal

Writing a journal every day can be healing after a breakup. Journaling about a split can uncover some difficult emotions. Write a letter to yourself mentioning all the good qualities you have and write about what you’ve learned as an individual while in the relationship. This will help you grow as a person, and you will find inner peace as you write openly about your feelings.

Maintain A Journal
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7. Plan A Solo Trip

Sometimes you invest so much in a relationship that you tend to forget your individuality. A solo trip can help you relearn how to be yourself again. It will keep you distracted from the emotional rollercoaster ride, providing you time to refocus and grow. Being surrounded by a new culture, cuisines, and exciting people will help you deal with the aftermath of your breakup.

Plan A Solo Trip
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8. Do A Social Media Detox

You might have several mutual friends with your former partner. In that case, just unfollowing your partner will not be enough. Limit your social media use so that you don’t have to resurface your ex’s pictures time and again. Do not stalk your ex’s feeds to see what they are up to or who they are with. A detox will keep you from acting on any urges to look. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Do A Social Media Detox
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9. Spend Time With Your Friends

Breakups can make you feel worthless and lonely. Hanging out with people who appreciate and value you will reassure you what a good person you are. It is also a good time to think about what you value in relationships and to express gratitude to those you are close with. Go out and spend some quality time with your friends during your post-breakup phase.

Spend Time With Your Friends
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10. Rearrange Your Room

Changing your environment and redecorating your room after a breakup can be therapeutic and a great way to heal yourself. It will help you uplift your spirit and soothe your soul. Surround yourself with bright colors. Pick some fresh flowers and lovely decorative items that will change your room’s appearance.

Rearrange Your Room
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11. Don’t Immediately Suggest To “Stay Friends”

Asking your ex-partner to stay friends can be an impulsive decision. It might look like you’re too much concerned about the breakup. Either of you might be ready to have a friendly bond with your ex, whereas the other person might not be on the same wavelength. Have a mature and constructive conversation on this and solve it. This will help you and your partner to separate your lives. The longer people are together and especially if they live together, the harder it is to untwine your lives.

12. Grow Your Self Esteem

Your self-esteem may get throttled, and you may feel rejected after a breakup. Keep all the negative thoughts aside, and do not doubt your self-worth. Instead, use positive language, affirmations, and encouragement. Surround yourself with optimistic people who will make you feel good about yourself. It will help you build your confidence and provide you mental peace.

13. Join A Gym Or Some Physical Activity Classes

Burn off all the breakup stress by joining a gym or enrolling yourself in physical activity classes. Exercise is excellent for lowering your stress and focusing on something more positive. It prompts your body to release feel-good hormones like endorphins that reduce stress (2).

Join A Gym Or Some Physical Activity Classes
Image: Shutterstock

14. Avoid Posting Sad Updates On Social Media

Relationships are a private and intimate thing, and so are breakups. Stop putting sad updates on your social media accounts. Not every person has to know about all the intricate details of your life. Sharing your sad story might aggravate your emotions and prevent moving on with your life. It might also bring unwanted attention and negative emotion, which won’t help you feel better.

Avoid Posting Sad Updates On Social Media
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15. Visit A Therapist If Needed

Experiencing breakups can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. This inner turmoil can interfere with your daily activities. If you want to talk to someone outside your friends or family, try speaking to a counselor and take therapy sessions. This will help you overcome the difficulties.

Visit A Therapist If Needed
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16. Enjoy A Self Pampering Session

Focus on your needs and do what makes you feel happy. Enjoy self-pampering sessions by indulging in a relaxing spa or body massage. A good day at the spa will not only calm your nerves but will also provide you with much-needed nourishment. The aromatic scents and candles will help you experience tranquility.

Enjoy A Self Pampering Session
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17. Get Plenty Of Sleep

After a breakup, you might find yourself crying and going through your ex’s social media numerous times a day (a good reason for a social media detox). This disrupts your sleep cycle and can lead to insomnia. Research says that relaxation techniques and changing sleeping habits can help you fall asleep faster and get better sleep (2). Develop healthy habits to get proper sleep and maintain your body’s physical well-being.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Light incense sticks or apply essential oils made of lavender or chamomile on your temple or behind your ears to help you ease into sound sleep. You can also brew tea with these herbs and consume it to calm your nerves before you go to bed.
Get Plenty Of Sleep
Image: Shutterstock

18. Turn Into Mindfulness

If you feel restless about your past relationship, opt for meditation sessions. Mindfulness gives you an extensive awareness of your thoughts and shifts the focus of your mind. It will help you move to a place of gratitude and show you how to find inner peace. Mindfulness helps eliminate stress, improves energy, and leaves a positive impact on your health.

Turn Into Mindfulness
Image: Shutterstock

19. View The Relationship Honestly

Look at the way your relationship was really like. To do this, you will have to stop idealizing your ex and dwelling on the good memories and experiences. While it is natural to look at the past through rose-colored glasses, it is not reality. Make a list of all the things your ex did that annoyed you. You may discover that your ex was not as excellent as you thought; this will help you move on faster.

20. Let Go Of Your Anger And Blame

Holding on to blame, anger, and resentment is not healthy. It will distract you from everything you do. Instead, focus on how you can let go of the offense and blame. If you hold onto these rigid emotions for long, it will keep you tethered to your ex. Focus on the future and how you want things to be different in your life the next time around.

21. Practice Self-Compassion

For any of the preceding tips to work, you need to be aware of why you are doing any of it. It is important to be kind to yourself as you dissociate from your past relationship. Think of how you would have treated someone else who was distressed and offer yourself the same kindness and compassion. While recovering, you may falter and feel negative things about yourself. Stop that and start with positive self-talk. Believe in those positive words and be gentle with yourself if some days are harder than others. Dive and dwell within your depths to recreate a version of yourself that is not defined by the bad things in the past, but one that is wiser, can acknowledge the bad days, and use it to move forward.

Hopefully, the ways mentioned above will help you develop better coping mechanisms, and you do not have to waste any more time wallowing in the past.

How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Breakup?

Heartbreaks are stressful and stir a wave of emotions in you. There is no exact time frame to get over a breakup. People recover from grief at different paces. For some, it might take a few weeks, while for others, an entire year or two to move on. It depends on several factors, such as the length of your relationship, the level of commitment, how you deal with the loss, and how quickly you tend to bounce back from things.

A bad breakup can throw you in a pit of despair. It takes time for sadness to go away and is not an overnight thing. Almost everyone thinks they will not feel happy again, but things do fall back in place gradually. It is perfectly alright to grieve, but remember that the dark clouds will pass by, and you will soon see the bright sunny day.

Breakups are harder when you have given a lot of yourself to the relationship. But time heals all wounds, and you learn to accept it. There could be many ways to get over a breakup. Unfortunately, some of them could be toxic and detrimental to your physical and mental health. We have compiled this list of healthy ways to come to terms with a breakup that will help you start building yourself afresh. It would help you immensely to stop dwelling on the mistakes in the past, let go of regrets, and focus on healing yourself. Trust the process, and soon things will look up!

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you get over an ex you still love?

It is natural to still be in love with your ex after a breakup. Just understand that the separation happened for a reason. Acknowledge your feelings and learn to let go of something that wasn’t right for you and your ex. Distract your mind by pampering yourself with self-care or going on a vacation.

How long is normal to get over a breakup?

It depends on how intense the relationship was and the ability of the individual to deal with the separation. For some, it may take 3-4 months, while others may take longer. So instead of focusing on the timeline, one must put effort into healing.

How do I get over a breakup ASAP?

The best way to get over a breakup ASAP is by focusing on self-care and self-improvement. Give more importance to your likes, dislikes, and hobbies. The more you focus on giving love to yourself and doing things that you love, the quicker you will heal.

Key Takeaways

  • Whatever the reason for your breakup with your partner, your emotions will need time to recover and settle on their own. So it’s usually a good idea to let it all out by sobbing or talking to someone you trust.
  • To relieve post-breakup anxiety, listen to music, read self-help books, or watch anything relaxing.
  • Go out to a concert, a cultural event, shopping, brunch, or a regular coffee date with your best friend. Rekindle your passions and devote time to them.

Breakups can cause immense pain, a sense of loss, and longing for your ex. Moreover, it can become really difficult to deal with emotional turmoil and frustration. Watch the following video to learn how to get over a breakup quickly.

Personal Experience: Source

References

Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.

  1. Self-care research: Where are we now? Where are we going?
    https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0020748919302093
  2. 5 Ways To Reduce Stress Now
    https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-events/news/how-to-reduce-stress-right-now
  3. Insomnia: Relaxation techniques and sleeping habits
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK279320/
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Michele Waldron

Michele WaldronPsy.D, LADC-I, CSCT

Dr. Waldron is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified couples counselor, licensed alcohol and drug counselor, and sex therapist. with 16 years of experience. She received her Psy.D from Antioch University, New England. She has a group practice that supports adults’ relationships and sexual health. Dr. Waldron is passionate about reducing sexual shame, which causes significant mental health challenges. She helps...read full bio

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