21 Things Men Want In A Relationship Desperately

Trust, honesty, and fidelity are just some of the many things men seek in a relationship.

Reviewed by Karen Marshall, Certified Relationship & Dating Expert
By Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Women are more vocal about what they need and desire, but things men want in a relationship remain a mystery more often than not. Men and women think differently, behave differently, and even want different things in a relationship. While women try to express a lot, men reveal less. Thus, it becomes difficult for women to impress their men as they don’t know what they like or dislike. But, don’t worry. We have got your back. In this article, we have listed 21 things that men want in a relationship and what you can do to make them happen. So, what are you waiting for? Let’s jump into it.

Top 21 Things Men Want In A Relationship

When you are aware of what men want in a relationship, it can help you to understand your partner and be considerate of his unspoken wishes and desires. This can strengthen your bond and draw you closer to one another. It can also help you to clear away misunderstandings and minimize any miscommunication. So, what do men really want in a relationship? Let us find out:

1. Men Seek Honesty In A Relationship

Honesty is a top priority for most men. When it comes to relationships, men want to trust their partner completely. They also expect the trust to be reciprocated. A man cannot bear to be kept in the dark over any matter by his partner. They prefer to know the truth, regardless of how unpleasant it might be.

What To Do

Be straightforward in your approach. Trust your partner if they have demonstrated trustworthiness over your dating period, and you both communicate your needs and feelings honestly. If one partner has trust issues, they will need to take responsibility for their insecurities when they arise – inevitable in any new dating relationship. Otherwise, this behavior would strain or sabotage a relationship in the long run.

2. Men Don’t Want To Be Controlled In A Relationship

No man likes to be manipulated or controlled by his partner. Women often believe they can change a man, but it’s important to give him space to be with his friends and nurture his hobbies and interests, to develop an interdependent, healthy relationship. Some may think that they can get a man to do things by controlling them. This is especially true when one partner is codependent. This often has the reverse effect as the man can feel suffocated when his freedom and individuality are restricted, or he is being mothered and emasculated and being told what to do. This behavior will often push a man away and isn’t healthy for the survival of a relationship.

What To Do

Be frank with your partner and establish your boundaries. It is also important to make clear what your expectations and desires are from him. Remember, it is not your partner’s job to make you happy. That is your responsibility.

3. Men Want Confident And Secure Partners

Men like women who are confident and considerate of their partner’s needs in the relationship. They do not want insecure partners and cannot stand to see them with other females, be it their friends, family, colleagues, or mere acquaintances. If a man is a good communicator with a partner and openly shares his plans, like where he is going and where they ended up going, this would help any partner feel considered. A woman may feel uncomfortable knowing her man is with another woman. However, if he is honest and shares what he is doing before and after the event, he would begin to build a much stronger bond for trust to grow, which is the most valuable foundation of any healthy relationship.

What To Do

Insecurity often leads to suspicion, which can cause many issues in a relationship. Have confidence in your partner, as well as the relationship. Should you have trust issues, take time to personally recognize your patterns, and what happens when your trust button is triggered. Otherwise, a man could be open and honest with you, but if you believe deep down “all men are dishonest,” you could sabotage your relationship, future, and happiness.

4. Men Want To Be Accepted For Who They Are

Men want to be accepted by their partners for who they are. They do not want to be compared with anyone. They are happy to be in a relationship where they are not pressured to be someone else or meet certain unrealistic standards.

What To Do

Avoid being judgmental. Do not indulge in criticizing him in front of others. Rather, offer him constructive criticism in private.

5. Men Seek Commitment And Fidelity

It is a common misconception that men want to indulge in relationships with more than one woman all the time. But, that is not always true. When a man decides to get seriously involved, he can and will stay committed, and he expects the same from his partner.

What To Do

It is not enough to be committed. Let him know through your words and actions that the relationship means a lot to you.

6. Men Want Clear Communication

If there is one thing men do not want in a relationship, it is a lack of clear communication. What men really want in a relationship is for you to express your emotions and expectations clearly. If you hesitate to send a clear message, you can create confusion.

What To Do

Communication is the backbone of any relationship. Always keep the doors of communication open, express your thoughts and emotions clearly, and and understand your thought process during misunderstandings. It is healthy to have different opinions. However, the way you healthily resolve conflict matters the most.

7. Men Want Respect

Respect is one thing that men value very highly. If you demean him in public or do not respect him in private, your relationship may suffer. Men value women who are respectful toward their partners as well as their dreams and aspirations.

What To Do

Learn to respect your man for who he is and appreciate his good qualities. If you do not like something about him, discuss it openly rather than disrespect him.

8. Men Seek Stability And Growth

A common perception about men is that they are not interested in stability or growth in their relationships. But, the fact is that men want to grow in a relationship with a mature and dependable partner.

What To Do

Be mature in your approach. When you create a healthy space for growth and maturity, you will be surprised to see how quickly he will want to take the relationship to the next level.

9. Men Crave Emotional Intimacy

Most men are conditioned to believe that they cannot be weak or show their vulnerable side. Such vulnerability includes expressing concern, showing pain, divulging fears, etc. But some men do crave emotional support from their partner. They want to feel comfortable enough with their partner to share their secrets, their fears, and how they really feel if they are wired this way. If they were encouraged to express themselves as a child, they would do this more easily as an adult. Once a man trusts you, he will share himself without feeling pressured to do so.

What To Do

Try to be his emotional soundboard. Keep reassuring him that you are there to listen to all his concerns patiently. Your relationship will grow stronger when you respect him for his way of sharing and responding to emotional intimacy with you. He may not share how he feels as easily as a woman because a woman’s communication part of the brain is more developed than a man’s emotional expression. Allow him time to express himself when he is ready without pushing him.

10. Men Desire Space In A Relationship

A man may be fully committed to a woman and still want to spend some time away from her. He may want to be with his friends or need time to be alone and gather his thoughts every once in a while.

What To Do

What a man wants in a relationship is space. Too much proximity can sometimes lead to suffocation. Allow your partner breathing room in the relationship. It’s healthy to have alone time individually.

11. Men Want A Sense Of Physical Connection

For a man, physical intimacy and touch are significant in a relationship. It is his way of feeling connected to you on a deeper level. But, the physical connection does not mean he wants to have sex with you all the time. It can be something as simple as a hug, holding hands, or a deep kiss.

What To Do

In a relationship, men and women will have different needs. While women love connecting through communication and sharing their world through words, men love doing so through physical intimacy. Talk to him about what makes him feel loved to know him better and express what is important to you. For instance, being heard and listened to, sharing quality time alone with you, the jobs he does to help you, or when he compliments you and it makes you feel desired and wanted. Just have a discussion about the little thoughtful things you could do for each other.

12. Men Look For Security

Security is something that both men and women seek in a relationship. When a man can still be himself, live independently from his relationship without feeling controlled, and you both communicate openly, he will start to consider you for a potential long-term relationship. Having your own friends and interests, makes him feel more confident. Also, seeing that you are happy in your own skin he will become more ready to commit himself. Being self-assured as an individual and a couple builds a stronger, more secure, and committed relationship, leading you both towards the commitment right for you as a couple.

What To Do

Let your partner know that building a healthy relationship first is important to you and you feel secure about him for your relationship to develop in the long run. This will reassure him that you are also considerate of his needs, and his space, and that integrity is integral to building a more lasting, secure relationship before you both commit for the longer-term.

13. Men Expect To Be Understood

Men are human, after all. When they make any mistake, they want their partners to be considerate and not turn it into an issue. They want to feel supported and accepted despite their faults.

What To Do

Anyone can make mistakes, including you. Just let him know that it is okay if he has messed up in some way. If the mistake has hurt you in any way, be sure to express that, but also let him know that you are ready to address the problem with him.

14. Men Want To Have Fun

It is not just women who love a sense of humor in their partner. Even men want it. Having a fun-loving partner who does not take things too seriously helps them to relax and unwind. That is why they want a partner who can be spontaneous, laugh together with them, and be willing to show their playful side.

What To Do

Try to be a little playful and indulge in a bit of fun. Laugh over silly things together and watch your bond grow stronger.

15. Men Want To Connect Over Common Interests

Men love it when their partners take an interest in their hobbies and passions. It can be anything, such as their love for jogging, photography, playing the guitar, etc. It is their way of spending more time with you while being happy and doing their own thing.

What To Do

Take an interest in his hobbies. Ask him questions, and he will be glad to share details with you or invite you along. Make an effort to value what’s important to him and he will value and share what’s important to you.

16. Men Seek Maturity From Their Partner

Every couple has its share of arguments. But if you do not reel it in every once in a while, the constant bickering can be a turn-off for him. Most men expect their partners to deal with issues maturely and with a calm head. Notice how you respond and react. Put yourself in his shoes to see yourself from his perspective. Do you go on? Or do you respond maturely?

What To Do

Avoid destructive arguments and try to find a solution rather than fighting over the issue or trying to place the blame on him. Take responsibility for your own emotions. Recognize your anger, calm down, and choose when to respond when you feel emotionally calmer.

17. Men Expect To Be Pampered

It is not just women who expect a bit of pampering from their partners. Men loved to be pampered equally. While they may not expect you to gift them chocolates or flowers every day, an occasional romantic message or a surprise gift, or an unexpected surprise date night is much appreciated.

What To Do

Pamper him once in a while for no particular reason. Make him feel loved through sweet and romantic gestures.

18. Men Expect Their Partners To Step Up For Them

Men are tuned to fight their battles on their own. These battles could range from struggling with difficult familial relationships or dealing with a financial crisis. Irrespective of the problem, they expect you to be on their side to offer support. They expect you to step up for them, be their strength, and offer a listening ear.

What To Do

Be by his side and hold his hand tight. Let him know you are there to support him or talk through any challenges he is ready to discuss with you. You do not have to fight on his behalf. Just stepping up and letting him know you are there for him will be enough to motivate him.

19. Men Want To Be Taken Care Of

Simple caring gestures go a long way in cementing a relationship into an unbreakable bond. After a long and tiring day, if you greet him with a smile and a warm hug, it is often enough for him to feel relaxed. He will be happy to be in your company. Put yourself in his shoes, and give him space to wind down before you share your day. Read his mood to show him you are considerate of his needs.

What To Do

Just be there to make him feel welcomed and shower him with unconditional love and care. He will then learn from your kind nature, to reciprocate when you need to be taken care of. Men are not great mind readers or as intuitive as women. So, make sure to let him when you need a hug, or a listening ear when it matters.

20. Men Want To Feel Like A Priority

Men do not want to be taken for granted in a relationship. They want to feel valued and appreciated and be a priority for the person they love. Being inconsiderate toward this need of your partner can harm your relationship. When you show empathy let him know he is not alone. Tell him how much you appreciate him, or that you are sorry he has had a bad day. If you are unable to prioritize his needs, immediately let him know you will prioritize him as soon as you can.

What To Do

Show him that you care. Even small acts like tuning in to his favorite TV show or his preferred music, or cooking his favorite meal after he has had a bad day can cheer him up and feel cared for.

21. Men Want A Partnership

Men love it when the love of their life becomes a complete partner. They do not want her to remain only as a girlfriend or a wife. They love it when they have a true friend in their partner, in front of whom they can let their guard down and confide.

What To Do

Turn into his companion, confidant, and friend. Try to be that person in his life without whom he feels incomplete.

Men may not express themselves enough, but everyone wants to feel seen, heard, and appreciated in a relationship. Despite maintaining a tough exterior to fit in with social standards, the things men want in a relationship are similar to what women want. Thanks to their social conditioning, they may slightly lack emotional intelligence, but women can make up for it by using their intuition and stronger communication skills. Men appreciate it when you are direct in your communication about your likes, dislikes, and expectations. They like it when you are serious in the relationship, but you also know how to have fun and fool around with them. Never hesitate to pamper men; they may not verbally ask for it, but they love it when you fuss over them once in a while. With these new tips in your arsenal, we are sure you will make your man happy!

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes a man trust a woman?

Men often think women are a mystery who do not mean what they say. Therefore, they find women who back their words with respective actions to be more trustworthy.

What are a man’s emotional needs?

Men may not be expressive, but they also have emotional needs. They look for comforting companionship, affection, emotional security, appreciation, and encouragement from their partners.

What do men find most attractive in a woman?

Men looking for long-term connections find independent, self-assured, confident, and expressive women attractive, who can hold their own but also be sensitive to others.

Key Takeaways

  • Men, may or may not be vocal about their choices and expectations but most often than not it’s the simple things that can make a big difference.
  • Clear communication, respect, and honesty can go a long way in helping them open up and reveal their innermost desires or insecurities.
  • While you need to pay attention to their unspoken words and cues, giving them their personal space is also important in strengthening the relationship and communication further.
  • Take care of your well-being and happiness – that is your job to manage, not his. He will love you for being self-assured and confident, with him or independently.

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