31 Best Topics To Talk About On A First Date To Spark A Romance

Not a single dull moment on your first date if you keep the playful conversation going.

Reviewed by Darrell Reese, MS, LMFT-A Darrell Reese Darrell ReeseMS, LMFT-A insta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc linkedin_icon Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA linkedin_icon Experience: 3 years

First dates are packed with emotions, excitement, tension, awkwardness, and hope. Since you are unaware of the other person’s likes and dislikes, you might even get confused about what topics to talk about on a first date. It might lead to awkward silences that may decide the relationship’s future. Therefore, it is best to go prepared with interesting topics that help the smooth flow of the conversation. If you are wondering what to talk about on the first date, we can help. Here, we have the 31 best topics and getting-to-know-you questions that you may discuss on your first date. Scroll down.

31 Best Topics To Talk About On A First Date

1. Learn About Their Family

Your date’s family background can help you understand who they are today. It explains hardships they faced in childhood, personality traits, or trauma, if any. Talking about family and their bonding with family members can be one of the most revealing parts. Find out if they have siblings and how close they are to them. You will also be able to learn more about their culture and family life. You can ask about their favorite childhood memory. This will also give you some insight into how they were raised.

2. Open Up About Your Hobbies

Discuss about your hobbies and interests
Image: Shutterstock

Talk about yourself on your first date – your hobbies, pass time, and interests. It helps connect each other by knowing what they like and are passionate about. Discussion on these topics helps you find common grounds and interesting facts about your date.
If you enjoy reading books, ask what books they have recently read. Find their interests and hobbies common for both of you.

Sean Kernan, a blogger, shares his best first date question from his dating experience. He likes to open by asking his date about their passions rather than opting for cliches. He says, “I don’t like broad, cliche questions like, ‘Tell me about yourself.’” He further adds, “When I’m on a date — after getting through the initial jitters and making small talk for a bit, I work up to a simple, revealing question: ‘So what are you passionate about?’ It always gets a smile…. My go-to question that, at a minimum, creates good conversation and, ideally, reveals compatibility. It’s useful even beyond dating (i).”

3. What Brought You To This City?

You need a common ground to create a connection with your date. And asking this question allows you to know their professional, academic, and personal history. You both might be living in the same city now, but home can mean something different. It might be the place they grew up, were born, or have made the fondest memories.

4. Discuss Your Childhood Memories

We often hear our hearts whispering, ‘I wish I were a kid’. There is always a lot to speak about our childhood, which can be the most entertaining topic on your first date. Maybe you were obsessed with playing cricket, would never eat anything other than ice creams, or pulled a crazy prank on your best friend. There’s no better way to get over it than by sharing and laughing about it. Those good old memories are cherished for a lifetime. Your date will also speak about the crazy things they did as a child.

5. Talk About Food

Talk about food and your favorite restaurants
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If your date is a foodie, talking about food can make your conversation more interesting. You can learn what type of food they love or if they have any signature dishes they love making. Conversations around food and dining preferences are also a great way to bring up the idea of your second date. You and your date can visit your favorite restaurants and the best places in the town to bite.

6. Who Are The Special People In Your Life?

If you want to know someone’s personality, see how they express their love while talking about them. That special person can be their best friend, parent, or sibling. This also shows which people have had the most significant impact on their lives and helped them grow.

7. What Is Your Dream Job?

This question gives your date a chance to express what they want to achieve in their career and what they are passionate about. Asking about someone’s dream job will provide you with an insight into their ambition, goals, and what makes them choose their career.

8. One Special Quality Of Yours?

It is a great way to find out what they think about themselves. If they find it challenging to figure out one quality about themselves, it indicates they lack confidence and are unaware of self-love. On the other hand, if they have a huge list to say in a row, they might just be boasting about themselves.

9. Did You Have Any Nicknames?

This turns more interesting when you hear the story behind the nickname. The stories will leave you both with bursts of laughter, enliven your childhood memories, and help lighten the sense of nervousness.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Some people may not feel comfortable talking about their nicknames, and that too on a first date. Therefore, respect their feelings and keep yourself from coaxing them to share too much.

10. What Is Your Greatest Fear?

A common response to this question will be heights, darkness, closed spaces, or bugs. You might even get a more honest answer – they might tell you they are afraid of losing their loved ones. It is one of the best topics to understand the tender side of your date.

11. What’s On Your Bucket List?

Learn more about other person’s goals and desires
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If you pose this question, you can learn about a person’s list of goals, dreams, and desires. You never know what you will find out, so pay close attention. You can also learn about their short-term and long-term goals by asking this question.

12. Address Deal Breakers

Every individual has their rules, limits, and boundaries in relationships. Address those on your first date to know whether the relationship will work or not. Impolite behavior, refusal to compromise, substance abuse, or not being open to change are red flags in any new relationship. Make sure to understand what your date is thinking about the points you discussed, and evaluate your relationship whether you wish to move ahead or not.

13. Discuss Your Favorite TV Shows Or Movies

Know what other person like to watch
Image: Shutterstock

This is one of the best things to discuss on your first date to know about their favorite movies, books, music, or TV shows. If you both are interested in the same genre of movies, there will be a lot to discuss. It can be a great conversation starter for a first date and help keep the chat flowing for some time.

protip_icon Quick Tip
The best thing about knowing each other’s favorite TV shows or movies is that you can plan a TV/movie marathon, which can make for a fantastic date idea.

14. What Do You Regret The Most?

There is always something to change when we get a chance to return to our past? So, ask your date this question and learn what situations they contemplate till now. Listen to them carefully because there is a risk of humiliation in revealing where they messed up. Also, try to reassure them that those events are common in everyone’s life.

15. Have a Conversation On Traveling Plans

Discuss about each others favorite places and traveling plans
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Discussing each other’s traveling plans can be one of the best first-date conversations. You both can share some travel stories and the various cultures you came across during the journey. You will learn which type of trips your date prefers, such as road trips, solo trips, short or long trips. You can also share your dream destination, funny travel experiences, and favorite travel spots.

16. Talk About Your Favorite Books

Determining someone’s likes and dislikes in casual conversations can be a challenge. However, understanding their book preferences can be a simple way to gauge your compatibility. For instance, they may enjoy self-help or serious literature or may share your love for Sci-Fi. You might even end up having an engaging conversation about Harry Potter if they too are a fan.

17. What Do You Do In Your Free Time?

Once you feel at ease in the conversation, you can ask more specific questions to learn more about them without being intrusive. You can check what they do in their free time. Share your own thoughts on the matter and see if you have any common ground to build the conversation upon.

18. Talk About Your Day

Starting by telling what you have done during your day can be a great way to break the ice. It also creates an atmosphere that is more casual and comfortable. Talking about relaxing topics can help you feel more natural and at ease. It also is an opportunity to learn more about each other.

19. Share About Things That Makes You Happy

Discuss about things that make you happy on your first date
Image: Shutterstock

Despite differences in taste for music, food, or books, you and your date may share a similar outlook on life. Pay attention to that common ground. While people may have rehearsed answers for typical date questions, observe their facial expressions when you discuss their family and work. This seemingly simple question can reveal a lot about the potential future of the relationship.

20. Talk About Your Future Plans

Begin by discussing your short-term plans and ask your date to share theirs as well. If you feel a connection, consider going on a second date and continuing the conversation. This will allow you to get to know your date at a more personal level. Ask about their plans for the upcoming days or weeks and plan future dates around their activities.

21. Understand Their Life Philosophy

When seeking a meaningful connection, it is important not to settle for the wrong person. Getting to know someone’s life philosophy can help you decide if a second date is worth pursuing. Asking about their passions, beliefs, motivations, and self-image can reveal more about them. By avoiding cliches, you can encourage more genuine and thoughtful responses.

22. Ask About Pets

Begin by expressing your affection for your beloved pet and inquire if the person shares a love for animals or if they have a pet of their own. If you happen to have a pet, this can serve as a great starting point for a lively conversation. Pets are a comfortable and non-threatening topic to initiate a conversation with anyone.

23. Know Where They Grew Up

Know more about your date and where they grew up
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While someone could be living in a town to pursue their education or employment, their upbringing would have had a major impact on their life. You could inquire about your date’s feelings towards the place they grew up at. This could lead to further conversations about the possibility of relocating or traveling abroad. Additionally, you could ask about their educational background and social circle; this may reveal mutual acquaintances, if any.

24. Discuss Work

Discussing work is a significant aspect as we spend considerable time working. Talk about your job and learn about your date’s job too. But you may avoid this topic if you two met at the workplace. Or you may even talk about what you want to change about your job or ask what they did with their first paycheck.

25. What Attracted You To My Profile?

You are on this date because you both showed interest in each other’s profiles or have a mutual friend. It is good to ask what they found interesting or appealing about you. Also, by sharing your thoughts about their profile, you can show enthusiasm for getting to know them better. This demonstrates your genuine interest in the person.

26. Discuss Your Musical Likings

Discovering shared musical interests can be a fun way to connect with someone and potentially plan future concert or event outings. Additionally, this can provide valuable insight into your date’s cultural background and life experiences.

27. What Is Your Favorite Place In Town?

Whether you hail from the same town or not, asking this question is a great way to break the ice and discover common interests. Additionally, you can plan future dates in unique and hidden locations suggested by your partner. This can help you gain further insight into their personality. The conversation may also lead to discussions around food, personal interests, and more.

28. Talk About Weekend/Holiday Plans

Discuss weekend plans on your first date
Image: Shutterstock

Learning about their close circle and favorite weekend activities can give you an insight into their life. It is possible that someone without weekend plans may lead a less interesting life. Additionally, discovering shared interests or activities can inspire future outings. For example, if your partner mentions enjoying hiking or attending musical festivals, you could plan a second date centered around those interests.

29. Ask About Their Expectations From The Relationship

Investing time in someone who doesn’t share your relationship goals is pointless. If you are seeking a long-term commitment, clearly communicating your intentions is important. Ask this question towards the end of your date and maintain eye contact to ensure the other person is truthful about their relationship goals.

30. Get To Know About Their Romantic Side

If you want to assess your partner’s skills in the romance department, try asking some fun and romantic questions. For example, you could ask about the worst pickup line they have ever heard or used. If you can engage in playful banter and laughter, it could indicate that you have a similar outlook on life.

31. What Is Your Opinion About Soulmates?

Asking this question on a first date is only recommended if you want a deep and meaningful conversation. It is a question that may determine whether there will be a second date or not, as it touches the other person’s deep core values around a romantic relationship. Depending on their response, you may gain insight into your compatibility with them.

Infographic: Fun Topics To Talk About On A First Date

First dates can be exciting and scary at the same time. Since you are meeting the person for the first time, the wrong question might make the date awkward and uncomfortable. So to break the ice, we have listed a few fun topics that make great conversation starters for your first date.

Check out the infographic below to know more.

fun topics to talk about on a first date (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

First dates are all about getting to know the other person at a basic level and understanding their likes and dislikes. Understanding what to talk about on a first date can be a bit tricky. So, you should focus on learning more about their family, sharing your hobby, and even discussing cherished childhood memories. Other topics of interest would be food, special people in your life, your dream job, quirky nicknames, bucket list, deal breakers, favorite shows, and more. Finally, if you want to delve deeper into their personalities, you can discuss any major regrets, greatest fears, and future plans.

Frequently Asked Questions

What topics should you avoid on a first date?

Avoid discussing past relationships, marriage, religion, and on a first date.

What is the most important question to ask on your first date?

Questions about their values and priorities are among the most important questions to ask on your first date. It will help you understand the person better.

How long should a first date last?

A first date can last from 1 hour to 2 hours. However, if both of you enjoy the company and the conversation keeps flowing, it may stretch beyond two hours. And that means your date is going great!

Is it OK to kiss on the first date?

If your date is comfortable, kissing on the first date is okay.

Key Takeaways

  • You can center the conversation around your hobbies, childhood memories, and favorite shows to keep things light on a first date.
  • Talking about your date’s family and childhood can reveal a lot about them and their likes.
  • Show curiosity but do not be too prying as it can make you look nosy.

Do you want to know how to start a great conversation on your first date? Then watch this video for the best topics and conversation starters to get the vibes going!

Personal Experience: Source

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Darrell Reese

Darrell ReeseMS, LMFT-A

Darrell Reese is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate with 20 years of experience. He helps couples rekindle their love and create a loving and happy relationship through Darrell Reese Counseling. He employs various modalities for these sessions, including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Collaborative Language Systems, Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and The Gottman Method, to help deal...read full bio

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