The True Reasons Guys Don’t Text Back Easily

There could be a number of possible reasons he doesn't reply to your texts.

By Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Men are notoriously bad at texting. But, what could be the true reasons guys don’t text back? Consider the following scenario. You’ve been dating this guy for quite some time. You exchange messages and phone calls, and everything is going swimmingly well! Then, he simply stops replying. Days pass in solitude, and your heart falls as you ponder what happened. Is this something you can relate to?

This abrupt and unanticipated quiet can be painful. But, hold on a second – it’s not the end of the story; there’s no need to descend into pessimistic thinking. There could be countless reasons behind him not texting back. So, instead of allowing your imagination to run wild, scroll down to find out why he may not be responding and what you should do in this situation.

The True Reasons Guys Do Not Text Back

1. He Is Really Busy

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are too busy

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Let’s be honest – he may not always check his phone as he might be really caught up with work. He might have missed your texts and calls between the numerous client meetings and calls. Moreover, it is also possible that he is not always glued to his phone and takes a break from it (digital detox). Maybe he is spending time with his parents, taking care of their needs, or he went on a road trip or hike and didn’t check his phone regularly.

2. He Is Not Into You

This often happens when you have just started dating. Sometimes, he may text you back after days, and sometimes, he may respond hours later. It is often confusing to read between the lines, so how do you interpret his on and off behavior?
Well, it means he may like you, but he is certainly not interested in you or looking for a long-term relationship. Maybe there is a compatibility issue, and he does not want to give you the wrong signals. If he were interested in taking it further, he wouldn’t have left you hanging.

3. He Wants You To Text Him

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they want you to text

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He does not want to seem desperate or is too shy to approach you for a second date. He might not be a go-getter and wants you to make the first move. If you haven’t heard from him since your last date, these could be the possibilities.

Alternatively, he wants to play hard. He has made the first move, taking you out on a date, and now, he is just waiting to see whether you are interested or not. Sometimes, guys do this on purpose to understand your level of involvement.

4. He Is Annoyed By The Text Bombs

Have you been dropping text bombs and cluttering his inbox? If he is working on a project or driving and if his phone keeps beeping all the time, it might give him anxiety (you never know!). Series of short sentences and question marks in a row to remind him of something may seem annoying at times. And if he gets all these in the middle of something important, he might not reply to you anyway and even put his phone in the DND mode.

5. He Is Overwhelmed

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are overwhelmed

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It is good to open up about your past and be truthful to your date about your relationships. However, if you have unloaded all your personal stuff on him in a brief time, he might feel a bit overwhelmed. Opening up bit by bit is fine, but pushing the door open prematurely might not be wise.

You may not realize it at first, but some guys are not very receptive to emotional circumstances. This can be a reason they do not text back for days because they may be unwilling to let you put them under any more emotional stress.

6. Does Not Want To Sound Needy

When a guy does not text you back, it could be because he does not want to sound too demanding and impose his presence on you. He might be interested in you, but he also doesn’t want you to categorize him as a stalker. Moreover, he might not want you to think that he is pushing you into this relationship and wants to give you some space.

7. He Has Moved On

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they have moved on

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If he ignores your texts and is not returning your calls altogether, the chances are high that he has moved on. In the world of dating sites and apps, it is not tough to get a date and meet new people. If you have just met and have been on a date before he ghosts you, perhaps he did not find you interesting or compatible.

8. He Is Away

Maybe he went on a business trip or for a vacation. Perhaps he went to a place with no internet connection or poor connectivity. If you have just started dating, it is a possibility that he went somewhere and did not inform you. If you are still getting to know each other and have not got far into your relationship where he will keep you informed about his whereabouts, you have to wait.

9. He Is Already In A Relationship

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are in a relationship

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Does he respond to you only at a particular time of the day? Is he absent for several days at a stretch (say for a week) and then responds? Does he respond at weird hours? Does he often block your number and then come up with some obscure reason? Has he restricted his social media profile from you? If yes, maybe he is already in a relationship, and he is hiding this from you. In such cases, if you smell anything fishy, stay away from the person. He is not worth your time.

10. Past Trauma

Sometimes, the simplest reason he is not texting back could be hidden in his past. Maybe he had a rough past relationship and is still recovering. Often, men take time to open up and respond in such cases. They might be interested in you, but they are simply being cautious and taking time to respond and reciprocate. You just need to be patient with them.

11. He Is Not Good At Virtual Communication

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are bad at virtual communication

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Things often get misinterpreted in texts, and all cannot convey their feelings through written words. So, they may be guarded while responding or avoid texting at all. If they respond to your calls but not your texts, maybe they are not comfortable.

12. He Did Not Understand What You Meant

There is a huge difference between virtual communication and talking to someone in person. You understand when a person is joking and when they are serious. However, it is often impossible to decipher the meaning via texts. If you have not been getting any replies from him, maybe he is trying to figure out what exactly you meant – were you joking or being sarcastic? If you have just met and don’t know each other well, it is hard to understand the tone in the texts.

There could be multiple reasons for him not to respond to your texts. Instead of waiting for his response, here are the things you can do.

Things To Do When He Does Not Text Back For Days

What to do when guys do not text back

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1. Avoid Texting Back Again

Resist the impulse to send a follow-up text asking why he did not text back. Continue the normal conversation, if any, but do not interrogate him to know why he has not texted you back. Unless you plan to call it quits with him, talk in a conversational tone without giving him any hint about your concerns regarding his lack of communication.

2. Stop Worrying And Enjoy

Focus on yourself. If he has not texted you back, you do not have to question your worth. Stop your feelings from spiraling into obsessive thoughts. Instead, have fun. Go out with your friends, travel, go for spa dates with your girlfriends, check out the new pub in your locality, and post crazy pictures. If he follows your social accounts, do not block him – let him see you can always have fun.

Give yourself the time and attention instead of thinking about why he is ignoring you. Be the best version of yourself. If he is worth it, he will soon come to realize your value and understand that what he did was wrong.

3. Move On

If you have decided to move on, you deserve a fresh start. Meet new people, have conversations, and see where it goes. Leave any emotional baggage behind. Avoid losing your cool and arguing with him about his lack of communication.

If you intend to continue your relationship with him, consider talking to him and conveying why it is important to respond. Also, try to understand his reasons. Despite all this, if he still does not text back, it is probably because he is not interested. In this situation, the best thing to do is accept the fact and move on.

The response time he chooses to respond may also convey some meaning.

What The Time Range Of Him Replying Could Mean

What the time range of him replying could mean

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  • Replying within seconds or a few minutes means that he is interested in you. Plus, he is not wasting time to sugarcoat his replies, which shows his honesty.
  • If he replies within 10 minutes to an hour, he might be occupied with work, or his phone was not with him.
  • If he replies within minutes at times, but within hours at other times, this can be quite frustrating. Unless he has a reason to describe his absence, there could be other possible reasons behind taking time. Maybe he is not that much into you.
  • Very rarely, he might forget to reply the same day. Sometimes, it is okay to let it go as he might be too busy and forgot to respond. This is normal.
  • If he responds days and weeks later, he is not as interested in you as you may have thought.

You will have to judge with your wisdom how genuine he is with his reasons. Depending on your assessment of his behavior, you have the option to drive your relationship in multiple directions.

An unanticipated lull in your conversation can be quite a mood killer, especially if you like the other person and hope to take things forward. But you shouldn’t take it personally as there could be many reasons behind your guy not texting you back for extended periods. For instance, he might be busy at work or in the personal sphere, hoping that you would text him first, doesn’t want to sound needy, or is simply not good with virtual communication. Whatever may be the reason, you should avoid text bombing him and worrying unnecessarily and move on with your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I get him to text me back?

You can ask him for suggestions, compliment him, or ask him an exciting question. This way, he will respond.

Are guys afraid to text first?

Not really. While some guys like to make the first move, some feel shy and nervous about sliding into DMs.

Key Takeaways

  • If a guy does not text you back immediately, there might be valid reasons like preoccupation with work, wanting some space, or being just not into you.
  • When he does not text you back, do not bombard him with texts. Focus on yourself and go out and enjoy with your friends.
  • Use your judgment to understand his reasons for not texting. This will help determine the direction your relationship will take.

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