The True Reasons Guys Don’t Text Back Easily

There could be a number of possible reasons he doesn't reply to your texts.

Reviewed by Sarah Kenville, MA (Marriage and Family Therapy)
Written by Sneha Tete, Certified Relationship Coach
Edited by Shatabdi Bhattacharya
Fact-checked by Gracia Odile  • 

Men are notoriously bad at texting. But what could be the true reasons guys don’t text back? Consider the following scenario. You’ve been dating this guy for quite some time. You exchange messages and phone calls, and everything is going swimmingly well! Then, he simply stops replying. Days pass in solitude, and your heart falls as you ponder what happened. Is this something you can relate to?

This abrupt and unanticipated quiet can be painful. But, hold on a second – it’s not the end of the story; there’s no need to descend into pessimistic thinking. There could be countless reasons behind his not texting back. So, instead of allowing your imagination to run wild, scroll down to find out why he may not be responding and what you should do in this situation.

The True Reasons Guys Do Not Text Back

1. He Is Really Busy

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are too busy
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Let’s be honest – he may not always check his phone as he might be really caught up with work. He might have missed your texts and calls between the numerous client meetings and calls. Moreover, it is also possible that he is not always glued to his phone and takes a break from it (digital or technology detox). Maybe he is spending time with his parents, taking care of their needs, or he went on a road trip or hike and didn’t check his phone regularly.

2. He Is Not Into You

This often happens when you have just started dating. Sometimes, he may text you back after days, and sometimes, he may respond hours later. It is often confusing to read between the lines, so how do you interpret his on-and-off behavior?
It means he may like you, but he is certainly not interested in you or looking for a long-term relationship. Maybe there is a compatibility issue, and he does not want to give you the wrong signals. He wouldn’t have left you hanging if he were interested in taking it further.

3. He Wants You To Text Him

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they want you to text
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He does not want to seem desperate or is too shy to approach you for a second date. He might not be a go-getter and wants you to make the first move. These could be the possibilities if you haven’t heard from him since your last date.

Alternatively, he wants to play hard. He has made the first move, taking you out on a date, and now, he is just waiting to see whether you are interested or not. Sometimes, guys do this on purpose to understand your level of involvement.

4. He Is Annoyed By The Text Bombs

Have you been dropping text bombs and cluttering his inbox? If he is working on a project or driving and his phone keeps beeping all the time, it might give him anxiety (you never know!). A series of short sentences and question marks in a row to remind him of something may sometimes seem annoying. And if he gets all these in the middle of something important, he might not reply to you anyway and even put his phone in DND mode.

5. He Is Overwhelmed

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are overwhelmed
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It is good to open up about your past and be truthful to your date about your relationships. However, if you have unloaded all your personal stuff on him in a brief time, he might feel a bit overwhelmed. Opening up bit by bit is fine, but pushing the door open prematurely might not be wise.

You may not realize it initially, but some guys are not very receptive to emotional circumstances. This may be why they do not text back for days because they may be unwilling to let you put them under any more emotional stress.

6. Does Not Want To Sound Needy

When a guy does not text you back, it could be because he does not want to sound too demanding and impose his presence on you. He might be interested in you, but he also doesn’t want you to categorize him as a stalker. Moreover, he might not want you to think he is pushing you into this relationship and wants to give you some space.

7. He Has Moved On

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they have moved on
Image: Shutterstock

If he ignores your texts and is not returning your calls altogether, the chances are high that he has moved on. In the world where dating sites and apps are the social norm, getting a date and meeting new people is not tough. If you just met and have been on a date before he starts ghosting you, perhaps he did not find you interesting or compatible.

8. He Is Away

Maybe he went on a business trip or a vacation. Perhaps he went to a place with no internet connection or poor connectivity. If you have just started dating, it is a possibility that he went somewhere and did not inform you. If you are still getting to know each other and have not gotten far into your relationship, where he will keep you informed about his whereabouts, you have to wait.

9. He Is Already In A Relationship

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are in a relationship
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Does he respond to you only at a particular time of the day? Is he absent for several days at a stretch (say for a week) and then responds? Does he respond at weird hours? Does he often block your number and then come up with some obscure reason? Has he restricted his social media profile from you? If yes, maybe he is already in a relationship and is hiding this from you. In such cases, if you smell anything fishy, stay away from the person. He is not worth your time.

10. Past Trauma

Sometimes, the simplest reason he is not texting back could be hidden in his past. Maybe he had a rough past relationship and is still recovering. Often, men take time to open up and respond in such cases. They might be interested in you, but they are simply being cautious and taking the time to respond and reciprocate. You need to be patient with them.

11. He Is Not Good At Virtual Communication

One of the true reasons guys do not text back is they are bad at virtual communication
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Things often get misinterpreted in texts, and all cannot convey their feelings through written words. So, they may be guarded while responding or avoid texting at all. Maybe they are uncomfortable if they respond to your calls but not your texts.

protip_icon Quick Tip
If the guy is uncomfortable with virtual communications, tell him it is normal. Just make sure to plan more active date ideas outside the gadget world, like, visiting an art gallery, going to the mall, fishing, hiking, or something as simple as organizing a movie marathon night at home with him.

12. He Did Not Understand What You Meant

There is a huge difference between virtual communication and talking to someone in person. You understand when a person is joking and when they are serious. However, it is often impossible to decipher the meaning via texts. If you have not been getting any replies from him, maybe he is trying to figure out what exactly you meant – were you joking or being sarcastic? If you have just met and don’t know each other well, it is hard to understand the text’s tone.

There could be multiple reasons for him not to respond to your texts. Instead of waiting for his response, here are the things you can do.

Things To Do When He Does Not Text Back For Days

What to do when guys do not text back
Image: Shutterstock

1. Avoid Texting Back Again

Resist the impulse to send a follow-up text asking why he did not text back. Continue the normal conversation, if any, but do not interrogate him to know why he has not texted you. Unless you plan to call it quits with him, talk in a conversational tone without giving him any hint about your concerns regarding his lack of communication.

2. Stop Worrying And Enjoy

Focus on yourself. You do not have to question your worth if he has not texted you back. Stop your feelings from spiraling into obsessive thoughts. Instead, have fun. Go out with your friends, travel, go for spa dates with your girlfriends, check out the new pub in your locality, and post crazy pictures. If he follows your social accounts, do not block him – let him see you can always have fun.

Give yourself the time and attention instead of thinking about why he is ignoring you. Be the best version of yourself. If he is worth it, he will soon realize your value and understand that what he did was wrong.

protip_icon Quick Tip
You can also say hello to your old hobbies while you wait for him to respond to your text. Bake a cake for yourself, sketch, or learn a musical instrument – know that the list is endless.

3. Move On

If you have decided to move on, you deserve a fresh start. Meet new people, have conversations, and see where it goes. Leave your emotions behind. Avoid losing your cool and arguing with him about his lack of communication.

If you intend to continue your relationship with him, consider talking to him and conveying your expectations as to why it is important to respond. Also, try to understand his reasons to avoid any misunderstandings. Despite all this, if he still does not text back, it is probably because he is not interested. In this situation, the best thing to do is accept the fact and move on.

The response time he chooses to respond may also convey some meaning.

What The Time Range Of Him Replying Could Mean

What the time range of him replying could mean
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  • Replying within seconds or a few minutes means that he is interested in you. Plus, he is not wasting time sugarcoating his replies, which shows his honesty.
  • If he replies within 10 minutes to an hour, he might be occupied with work, or his phone was not with him.
  • If he replies within minutes at times but within hours at other times, this can be quite frustrating. Unless he has a reason to describe his absence, there could be other possible reasons behind taking time. Maybe he is not that much into you.
  • Very rarely, he might forget to reply the same day. Sometimes, it is okay to let it go as he might be too busy and forget to respond. This is normal.
  • If he responds days and weeks later, he is not as interested in you as you may have thought.

You will have to judge with your wisdom how genuine he is with his reasons. Depending on your assessment of his behavior, you have the option to drive your relationship in multiple directions.

Infographic: Ways To Save A Dying Text Conversation With A Guy

There could be many reasons for a text conversation to fizzle out. Most of the time, text conversations die because of a lack of follow-up. Unless you think he has moved on or is not interested in the relationship anymore, there’s no harm in trying to rekindle the conversation. Now, reviving a dead conversation is an art. Don’t worry if you are clueless about how to do it. We have listed some effective strategies in the infographic below. Check it out.


Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

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An unanticipated lull in your conversation can be quite a mood killer, especially if you like the other person and hope to take things forward. But you shouldn’t take it personally as there could be many reasons behind your guy not texting you back for extended periods. For instance, he might be busy at work or in the personal sphere, hoping that you would text him first, doesn’t want to sound needy, or is simply not good with virtual communication. Whatever the reason, you should avoid text bombing him and worrying unnecessarily and move on with your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I get him to text me back?

You can ask him for suggestions, compliment him, or ask him an exciting question. This way, he will respond.

Are guys afraid to text first?

Not really. While some guys like to make the first move, some feel shy and nervous about sliding into DMs.

What should I text him back when he finally texts?

Keep your cool, ask him simple questions and refrain from pestering him with too many inquiries about his absence. The most crucial thing is to give yourself time to process your emotions and decide whether you want to continue communicating with someone who doesn’t respond to your texts promptly.

Should I worry if he hasn’t texted me in two days?

Try not to be bothered by his lack of communication if it has only been a few days. He is likely preoccupied, so there’s no need to worry.

Can a guy’s lack of response to text messages be a sign that he’s not interested?

Yes, a guy is probably not interested in you if he doesn’t reply to your texts right away. However, while there are times when he might be extremely busy and unable to respond, if you notice this behavior regularly, he might not be interested in you.

Is it ever okay to double-text a guy who hasn’t responded?

Double-texting, or sending a message twice before receiving a reply, is frowned upon in contemporary dating. While sending two texts at once may not feel bad, there is no set amount that is acceptable in this regard. Put your phone down and allow the other person to respond at their own pace if you feel bad about sending two texts at once.

Key Takeaways

  • If a guy does not text you back immediately, there might be valid reasons like preoccupation with work, wanting some space, or being just not into you.
  • When he does not text you back, do not bombard him with texts. Focus on yourself and go out and enjoy yourself with your friends.
  • Use your judgment to understand his reasons for not texting. This will help determine the direction your relationship will take.

Is he not responding to your texts? Find out the 4 true reasons guys don’t text back and what to do when that happens in the following video.

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