Why Is She Ignoring Me And What Should I Do?

Written by Harini Natarajan

When a woman ignores you, it can be hard to understand why. Perhaps you failed to court her, or you lost her trust or interest. Even if you were not in the wrong, she could be ghosting you as she is too busy with her other commitments in life. Whatever the reason, knowing why she is ignoring you can show you what action you need to undertake.

Keep reading to understand the possible reasons she may have cut off contact with you – and what you can do about the same.

Reasons She Is Ignoring You

So you have played the flirting game and, with great efforts, caught her attention. You take her number with the hopes of developing your friendship. You invest your emotions to build a romantic relationship – only to have your dreams crushed when she ignores you.

Contrary to popular belief, not all women are whimsical. So if she is ignoring you, chances are there is a reason. Here are some possible reasons she could be ignoring you.

1. She Is Not Interested In You

If she is not into you, she will want to avoid you instead of outright rejecting you. If there are no signs of attraction – if she does not lean into you as you talk to her, maintain eye contact, or attempt to initiate skin contact – you should learn to move on and stop hounding her.

Talk to her frankly and see her response instead. Chances are she was just exploring earlier and no longer feels any spark with you.

2. She Is Experiencing Technical Issues

Although it may sound like an excuse, a problem with her phone due to technical issues (or losing her phone) can keep her from contacting you. If that is the case, she will remain unavailable until she gets a replacement. If these technical issues are the only barrier to your relationship, you merely have to wait for a few more days.

Imagine how foolish it would be if you send a storm of messages in an attempt to gain her attention. Moreover, if those messages are abusive or desperate, she would lose all respect for you.

When she stays out of touch for a prolonged period, hold your horses and wait it out. You can always meet her again and verify whether she genuinely had had difficulties connecting with you.

3. You Are Way Too Needy

The way you communicate with her during the initial few weeks of chatting and interaction matters. That communication is like an appetizer in your relationship – it sets the mood and interest to taste the main course and dessert.

You may come off as being desperate or needy if you keep replying to her messages before she can even put her phone down. Sending your whole life story to her simple question about your day can put her off. You may do so intending to occupy her interest, but it can prove to be contrary. Badgering her with constant messages can cause her to think you are too dependent on her for your happiness. She may prefer to maintain her distance from you.

If she is choosing to ignore you, for this reason, give her some space. Ensure you reply like-for-like and allow her to set the pace and frequency of the messages. Let her make the decisions after she thinks thoroughly. The whole point of these messaging games is to make the relationship a little more intimate.

4. Your Reputation

So you are talking to someone and chatting back and forth, only to have her start ignoring you. Although uncommon, your bad reputation with the ladies can hamper your chances with her.

Reputation often precedes you. Women tend to talk to others about their feelings, and if you have ever behaved rudely or inappropriately with another woman, you can be sure it has reached her ears. If she is not yet emotionally inclined towards you, she will most likely believe others’ views of you.

Be more aware of your image and reputation around other people. It can very well be the reason she may start ignoring you.

5. She Has A Busy Life

Sometimes she can get very busy with all the commitments and events in her life, leaving her no time to think over a new relationship. She may have seen your messages, but probably didn’t have the time to respond. If this is the case, you should chill out a little before jumping to conclusions.

Interestingly, some people can be too busy for any relationship at all. If you cannot grab a woman’s attention from her busy life, she probably is not ready yet. In such a case, it is best to move on and look elsewhere for romantic commitments.

6. She Is Receiving Mixed Signals From You

If you are inconsistent in your messages, she will only sense mixed signals. If she likes you but sees that you are not acting the way you are talking, she will get nervous. She may consider it to be disinterest or even rude behavior on your part, and may choose to ignore you.

Women are often more sensitive than men, and they can misread your actions. They may overthink as to whether you are genuinely interested in them or are merely playing around. Her thoughts will be similar to what you could think when she starts to ignore you.

The whole three-day rule after the first meeting does not necessarily apply to women. If you like her and want to pursue things ahead, stop leaving breadcrumbs and involve yourself actively. A few erratic messages will have her running far from you.

7. She Needs More Time

You got her number and started talking and chatting with her. You realized right away she’s the one for you. In that excitement, you might start becoming more engrossed and may message her constantly in an attempt to take things further.

If she does not have the same intense feelings as you do, she could feel pressurized by your over-enthusiasm. Naturally, she needs time to sort through her feelings before deciding to commit to things. Thus, the pressure can have her start avoiding you to get some time to choose.

Look through your messages. Do they come off as pushy or demanding to you? Are you hinting at taking things further and she is avoiding them? If so, take a step back. Allow her time to reach a decision and talk to her frankly about your intentions.

8. She Has Someone Else In Her Life

Although not an inviting thought, you can be a decoy. She could very well be interested in someone else and probably is using you to make the other person jealous. Or she probably is biding her time while waiting for your cute friend to notice you. Women that are too shy to flirt with a guy prefer to get close to his friends to get more details about him or even an opportunity to meet him.

Learn to recognize body language cues and subconscious signs of attraction to understand if you hold her attention. If the signs are missing and she continues to talk to you, she could be using you.

But what if you find her displaying the signs of attraction towards you? Is it possible for her to ignore you, even though it is obvious she likes you? Find out below.

Can She Ignore You Even If She Likes You?

Yes! Despite her showing genuine interest, a few things may keep her from texting you back. Here are some reasons she may ignore you despite liking you:

1. She Feels Too Shy To Make The Move

Shyness can ruin many romantic relationships even before they begin. Some women are shy and unable to initiate communication, perhaps due to the fear of rejection or lack of self-confidence.

Conversely, if you are too shy to make the first move, she may believe you are uninterested in her. She may get tired of waiting for you to initiate things or think that you are not serious about her and the relationship. Either way, the initial intrigue can last only for so long without your efforts. If you do not act, things will not continue the same way.

2. She Is Overthinking

It is common knowledge that most women tend to overthink. Be it simple decisions like choosing their outfit or bigger ones like committing to someone – they tend to analyze everything down to the minute details. All this overthinking and second-guessing while talking to you may make her step away from you. She may find it easier to ignore you rather than face rejection from you.

3. She Feels Insecure

Women tend to feel insecure in a relationship if they believe your attention to them is inadequate. Thus, she will need you to prove your interest in her. One way of ensuring this happens is by ignoring your messages. She will try to play being busy or aloof to test your intentions and see whether you will pursue her.

She only wants you to reassure her and know that things will get better. If she finds this reassurance missing, she will withdraw herself completely.

4. She Needs Some Space

Everybody needs some me-time – some space and time to examine their thoughts and sort out their emotions. In a relationship, sometimes you forget about the individual as you focus on being a couple. Rather than investing some time in yourself, you may constantly focus on the other.

Each person functions differently – one may want to speak right away while the other may want to think things through. The need for personal space and time can cause her to start ignoring you.

5. She Is Punishing You For Something

Have you said or done anything to make her angry or feel disappointed in you? If you have, the easiest way for her to let you know is by ignoring you.

Soothe her temper, and you will earn her forgiveness again. If you are not sure what the reason is, you should ask her why she is ignoring you and try to resolve the conflict. But do not ever make the mistake of telling her she is over-reacting. That may hurt her beyond repair.

Now that you know the reasons she could be avoiding you, what can you do to rectify the situation? Read on to find out.

What Can You Do If She Ignores You?

1. Communication Is Key

The science of attraction and body language is a mysterious art – it can be a hit or a miss. Although you may believe you are giving away obvious cues, there are no guarantees she will be picking on them.

If you feel you are unclear about the signals a woman is sending you, you can confess your feelings to her. If she feels the same way, she will open up. Odds are she, too, was hesitant about how to approach you. Nevertheless, it will allow you to take things to the next stage.

Even if she does not reciprocate your feelings, at worst, you will be facing a rejection. It is always better to accept the fact and move on instead of wasting your time and efforts.

2. Patience Is A Virtue

She may not necessarily choose to ignore your messages but be forced not to reply to them either due to technical issues or time constraints.

Stop jumping to conclusions and be patient. Instead, give her some time to get back to you. If you think she is giving you the cold shoulder, talk to her and see if you can help her out. That will earn you some brownie points.

3. Act Normal

Now that she is ignoring you, what should you do when you meet her in person? Do you ignore her back or become aggressive towards her? No. Instead, be nice and friendly.

If you still want to show your interest and allow her to get to know you better, act like it. You want to appear concerned about her while avoiding being clingy and needy. Show her you have a life and that you are not dependent on her for your happiness.

What Should You Not Do If She Ignores You?

  • Avoid flirting with other women in front of her to try to make her jealous. It can only backfire if she thinks you are no longer interested in her. She may end up moving on to greener pastures.
  • Coming too strong is a turn-off for most women. Avoid hounding her with messages, especially the sappy ones. She most definitely can do without your detailed texts of how important she is in your life.
  • Avoid being too dependent on her. Women appreciate a partner who is content in their lives and is not relying on someone else for their happiness.
  • No drunken messages. When you get drunk, you lose rationality and objectivity. Your mushy, foolish, or even angry messages may give off an entirely different tone. If you ever feel the need to get some liquid courage before texting her for ignoring you, hide your phone.

Do note that these tricks and tips hold true only if she is still interested in you. If she is only stringing you around or has found someone else, let her be. You will always find someone else who can like you for who you are.

Closing Thoughts

Remember – the girl you like may choose to ignore you even when you are not in the wrong, primarily because she is not interested in you. But there can be several other reasons she may ignore you.

To understand why she is ignoring you, evaluate your behavior and check if that is the issue at hand. You can try to be more patient and attentive, and communicate your feelings – the worst-case scenario is only a rejection.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I text her again if she doesn’t reply?

If she has not reverted in over a day or so, maybe you can check up on her – and ask her how she has been and if she is free to chat with you.

What should I text a girl to make her reply?

Unfortunately, if a girl is not interested in you, there is nothing you can say to make her reply. However, checking if everything is okay at her end can tell her that you have noticed her silence and are concerned of her well-being.

What do I do if a girl ignores me when she knows I like her?

In this case, she may be thinking things through or may want to avoid the hassle of rejecting you outright. Have patience and give her some time to ponder over things.

Can I ask a girl why she is ignoring me?

Yes, you can. But avoid confronting her. Be gentle and mindful of your reactions. You should not be making things ugly in case you receive an undesirable response. Take some time to think about the possible reasons she may be ignoring you. A rational conversation can make things more clear.

Should I delete her number if she ignores me?

If you delete her number in a fit of rage, you may end up losing the opportunity to reach out to her any time in the future. Thus, it is better to wait and decide with a calm mind.

How do you make a girl regret ignoring you?

Your life is not dependent on her acknowledging or ignoring you, so avoid trying to make her regret her actions. Focus on your life and goals. If you are working on yourself and accomplishing things, she may regret her actions – and it shouldn’t matter to you even if she doesn’t.

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As Chief Editor, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. She has over 14 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. She specializes in the areas of Beauty, Lifestyle, and Health & Wellness and is proficient in Medical Sciences (Biology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, and Biochemistry). Her background in Biomedical Engineering helps her decode and interpret the finer nuances of scientific research for her team. Harini is a certified bibliophile and a closet poet. She also loves dancing and traveling to offbeat destinations.