10 Mistakes That Spoil A First Impression

By Chandrama Deshmukh

The first impression is like the cover page of a book. It has to be just right! Too much, and you are spoiling the show; too less, and you are not making an impact. How often do we meet people and think ‘what’s with the non-stop talking?’. ‘Look at that attitude, it’s such a turn-off.’ So, what are the basics of making the first impression perfect? Well, to answer that question, we first need to rule out what shouldn’t be done. And all that’s left will mostly be in your favor.

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The right impression gives you another chance whereas the wrong one shuts all doors. And no matter how hard you try to make up for the spoiled impression, it’s never as good as new. Why go through all that trouble in the first place? Here’s a list of 10 unforgivable mistakes that we unknowingly make in haste to make the perfect first impression. And they don’t work. Instead, they put off the other person. So, the first step to being in someone’s good books is to avoid these mistakes. And once that battle is won, the rest is a cakewalk. So, how about a quick skill guide that will improve your chances of being a star? This will help you in all walks of life – be it personal relationships, professional combats or social encounters. Avoiding these mistakes will take you places and give your personality an impeccable stand.

Do not, I repeat, do not make these 10 disastrous mistakes when you meet someone for the first time:

1. Do Not Boast

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 Oh well, I drive a BMW, I have all Apple gadgets lying at home, and blah blah blah. Darling, no one is interested in your self-boasting. Remember, still waters run deep. Let the other person discover how great you are. Talking too much about yourself could disgust the other person. And you wouldn’t want that, right?

2. Don’t Be Overfriendly

You have just met the person. Give this new encounter the time it deserves. Try not to be all over the place in your conversations. You might be in awe of the other person, but they have the right to choose if you two should be best buddies. The strongest relationships have taken time. So, let’s try not to go on a best friend hunt and bore the brain out of your new acquaintance.

3. Let’s Not Bitch, Please

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 If you are already criticizing a common friend in the first meeting, chances are you will repel genuine people. Gossiping is fine as long as it’s harmless and enjoyed with a close friend. Slandering other people exhibits your wicked side. And remember, we are here to make a lasting impression.

4. Don’t Crack Stupid Jokes

Having a good sense of humor is one thing, and faking it is another. Restrict your jokes to the mood and place. Do not blurt out memorized jokes out of place and context. You are making the other person uncomfortable. Also, stay away from chauvinist, racist, and sexist jokes.

5. Learn To Use Pauses

Because people lose the plot if you don’t give them time to decipher what you have just said. Talking non-stop is not parading your knowledge quotient. On the contrary, it’s making the other person feel jaded. Take pauses at the right time. This enhances the gravity of the point you are trying to make.

6. Listen To The Other Person

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 We are looking for mutual admiration, right? So, let the other person present his/her views. Give them a chance to respond and contribute to the conversation. If you keep beating your drum, people will feel left out. A one-way conversation is never a good conversation.

7. Don’t Judge

Unless you are sitting on a judge’s bench. Belittling other people before someone you just met shows that you are a shallow person. Respect people for what they do and how they are. That will take you a long way.

8. Do Not Pile On

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 ‘Movie tonight? No? Ok, then how about dinner? Or breakfast tomorrow? Or coffee? Lunch?’ Seriously? Does it even sound right to you? The desire to spend more time with someone could be genuine, but it has to be executed smartly. Make a plan and wait for the other person to respond. If the other person is busy, don’t pressurize them. Patience is the key to making a good impression. Too much of anything could be dangerous.

9. Stop Trying Too Hard

 Let’s accept it. You are what you are. When it comes to relationships, the effort is important, but trying too hard won’t get you anywhere. Be what you are and give the other person ample time to understand what you are. Don’t do things on their behalf. Let them put in some effort too.

10. Don’t Be Too Nosy

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 ‘How old are you?’ ‘Don’t you want to have kids?’ ‘Where did you pick that dress from?’ No one likes to answer too many questions. People take time to open up. And being too nosy might just shut them up for long. Let the other person share their details. Do not dig for information. If the relationship is meant to be, you will get your share of information, or maybe more. You never know!

Connecting with people is an art. And you have just learned the most important aspect of it. Inculcate this in your life and keep winning hearts. All the best!

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