10 People Give Advice On How To Raise Boys And Girls Equally

Written by Niharika Nayak

When it comes to raising kids, there’s often a stark difference between how girls are brought up compared to boys. It’s common to see girls being clothed in pink and bright colors and are handed Barbie dolls, while boys are dressed in darker colors and handed toys like robots and cars. Since most of the world is still quite patriarchal, it’s crazy how different boys and girls are raised right from the start of their lives. Most often, parents wouldn’t even realize the fact that they are raising their girls differently from the boys and falling into the trap of gender bias. To help such parents, we have compiled some great advice found online. So here is the advice from ten anonymous parents on how to raise sons and daughters equally:

1. Don’t Make Your Daughters The Assistant Parents

Don't Make Your Daughters The Assistant Parents


Parents are quick to delegate household responsibilities to their daughters much faster than they do to their sons. They have the common notion like daughters mature faster or daughters need to be responsible about household chores from an early age. Children, be it boys or girls, need to be taught responsibilities, but gradually and what’s fit for their age. Rather than telling our daughters that they mature faster, let’s start encouraging both genders to participate in tasks actively and treat each other equally. More so, raise your kids yourself rather than expecting your kids to do it.

2. Don’t Discriminate Among Siblings According To Their Gender

Involve Both Kids In The Household Chores

It’s vital that you raise both genders in the household to perform tasks equally and not to pressure one kid to perform more chores than the other. Children might not say it out loud but they can easily sense any kind of preferential treatment among siblings. Giving preferential treatment to the boy compared to the girl or vice versa, leaves them feeling unwanted and can lead to long-term mental health issues (1).

3. Don’t Shame Sons For Showing Emotion

Don't Shame Sons For Showing Emotion


Kids will cry. It’s a natural emotion, and plenty of adults feel the need to cry every now and then too. If you notice that your son is crying, rather than telling him to “man up or “be a strong boy”, comfort him and ask him what’s wrong. In the end, whether it is your son or your daughter who is crying, it’s crucial that you address the issue and not bow down to silly gender stereotypes.

4. Toys Are Gender-Neutral

Toys Are Gender-Neutral


It doesn’t matter if your daughter enjoys playing with hot wheels or that your son enjoys playing with dollhouses. All that matters is that they are playing and having fun. Many people will assume that their son will end up more effeminate if he decides to play with “girly” toys, but this is a very twisted interpretation. This implies that being feminine or anything that isn’t masculine is a bad thing! Why do we ask our daughters to be “strong like men” and not our sons to be open to their emotions like women?

5. Girls Shouldn’t Start Hitting Boys Just Because Boys Are Taught Not To Hit Back

Girls Shouldn't Hit Boys Just Because They Can't Hit Back


We teach boys about never raising their hands on women, but it’s about time that we also taught our daughters to not raise their hands too. Some girls might take advantage and bully boys, knowing well that boys hitting girls is frowned upon. You must teach them that they shouldn’t raise their hands on anybody unless they are defending themselves.

6. Ask Your Daughters To Speak Up For Themselves

Ask Your Daughters To Speak Up For Themselves


Whether you have a daughter or a son, it’s vital that you teach them to stand up for themselves and not keep quiet. This is important because the media often sends across the message of being a shy little mouse to young girls. Girls too need to learn how to be confident and assertive when the situation calls for it.

7. Boys Need To Be Held Accountable For Their Actions, Just Like Girls

Boys Will Be Held Accountable For Their Actions


The “boys will be boys” rhetoric has been thrown around for far too long. It doesn’t matter what gender your child is; if they have done something wrong, they should be held accountable for the same. You need to also teach your kids not to lie or try to blame others for their actions.

8. Don’t Force Academic Or Career Choices From A Gender Point Of View

Don’t Force Academic Or Career Choices From A Gender Point Of View


It’s a common observation that girls would be encouraged to take on career paths that parents think are more suited for females. Professions like nursing, stylists, childcare, office secretaries, etc. are often viewed as being fit for females. If a female is discouraged from her real passion and forced into such professions, chances are that she would do her job half-heartedly or at least not as passionately as she would have done in the job of her liking. Similarly, there is nothing wrong with boys wanting to be nurses or hairstylists. Let both choose the vocation of their liking and not what fits them according to their gender.

9. Don’t Reserve The Physically Demanding Tasks Only For The Boys

Don’t Reserve The Physically Demanding Tasks Only For The Boys


Some parents consider their daughters to be delicate and fragile. So when it comes to physical tasks like lifting items or mowing the lawn, carrying luggage during travels, etc. they will only let their boys do the job. Not only are parents overburdening their sons with this task, but they are also robbing their girl child of developing strength by doing the manual and physical tasks. Only by being involved in hardy tasks will children build strength, be it, boys or girls.

10. Don’t Compare Your Kids’ Achievements Based On Gender

Don't Compare Your Kids Based On Gender


If you know that one child has an absolute advantage over the other in a particular activity, like sports or art, it’s vital that you don’t compare children based on gender. Each and every child out there is unique and wonderful in their own way. Rather than make them feel like life is a competition, you should praise them equally.

Our generation truly needs to change and break the stereotypes that our parents’ generation followed. It’s vital that you raise your children equally and not treat one differently from the other. Both boys and girls are equally capable and it’s important that you teach them the same from the earliest of age. Do let us know all your thoughts on this article in the comment section below!


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  1. Gender differences in mental health problems among adolescents and the role of social support: results from the Belgian health interview surveys 2008 and 2013
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