Oh, but the joys of a new romance! The sky seems bluer, the birds seem chirpier, chocolate seems sweeter, and, of course, even the sluggish Internet doesn’t seem like that much of threat to your sanity anymore.
Hmm, maybe the last one is a bit of a stretch.
But, ladies & gentlemen, I do digress. The point is, a budding romance can muddle a girl’s logic at times. When you’re venturing about the city on the arm of a new prospective Prince Charming and are being wooed by his sweet promises and your own secret fantasies of what could be… well, it’s a heady feeling. One that, quite frankly, doesn’t inspire the most rational of thinking. It is so very easy to mistake the feeling of being in love with being in love with the idea of love. And such a mistake can come with a rather heavy price – a broken heart.
So, while you may be eager to find your one true love, if you are in the early stages of a fragile new relationship, it’s best to take things slow and ask yourself a few pertinent questions first. Anybody who has ever loved and lost will tell you – only fools rush in (shout out to all my Elvis fans out there!), and here’s why:
1. It Could Be Loneliness
Before you commence a relationship with someone new, ask yourself this very crucial question, “Why do I want to date this man?” And if your answer happens to be along the lines of “Oh well, I feel rather lonely so, I might as well,” then it becomes even doubly vital that you take things slow in this new romance.
If your affection and desire for your partner doesn’t spring from an attraction to who they are, but instead stems from your inability to enjoy your own company, which has produced a desperate need for companionship… well, then you’re simply setting yourself up for heartbreak. Since, at the end of the day, this isn’t love. And there will come a time when your partner will understand this and resent you for it.
2. It Could Be ‘Self-Love Deficiency’
Another horrible answer for the good old, “Why do I want to date this man?” is “I just want somebody to love me.” Once again, not good enough.
Before somebody else can learn to love you, you must learn to love yourself. Now, don’t confuse self-love with narcissism or selfishness. Loving oneself doesn’t necessarily entail having a giant ego, it simply means that you accept and cherish yourself, warts and all! You recognize your imperfections and flaws but that doesn’t stop you from loving the beautiful, unique being that you are. Ultimately, it’s about not comparing oneself with others and attempting to distort your identity into someone else’s image. Once you accomplish this, know that you are ready to tread the deep waters of love.
3. It Could Be Lust Alone
The happy chemicals that lust and love spark in your brain, well, they’re rather similar. Hence, it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that an awful lot of lovers confuse their undeniable attraction for each other as being the grand, and oh-so-sacred, once-in-a-lifetime love you see on the silver screen. Now, don’t get us wrong. Lust is great! However, it’s fleeting, fickle and comes with an expiry date. So, before the two of you meet each other’s parents, speak the vows, and merge your finances; ask yourself a simple question – am I confusing a healthy dose of lust with love? Because if lust alone is the answer, the chances of you rocking your grandbabies together on your shared porch are slim.
4. It Could Be A Reaction To Your Past
Sometimes when your heart is broken, it creates a void – one that can seemingly only be filled with the presence of a new love. If you’ve hopped back into the dating scene after a recent, painful breakup, and have been attempting to rush into a promising new relationship – please, stop. Rebound relationships rarely stand the telling test of time. And they often fail due to a very simple reason – people forget that before they welcome someone new into their lives, they need to ensure their heart has healed first. Hence, burn those bridges and get your closure. That is the only way you can be fair to yourself as well as your future partner.
5. It Could Be Societal Pressure
Does your mother never fail to inform you about the notorious biological clock? Does your grandmother frequently talk – scratch that – threaten you with her impending demise? Do you suddenly find yourself panicking as you realize most of your friend circle is getting married or producing babies?
Well, all these factors can make women feel pressurized to settle down quickly, which can lead them to rush into relationships they find somewhat promising. However, that is a crime against oneself! Life isn’t a race and nobody should make you feel as if you need to ‘settle’. Don’t ever deny yourself the chance of experiencing true love.
So, there you have it – five significant reasons why you mustn’t rush into a budding new romance. If you’ve felt the spark with someone new, well, enjoy it and take it slow. Don’t be afraid of losing your chance at love. If it is the real deal, the two of you will make it despite all odds. After all, love conquers all!