The unfortunate reality of living in India (or around desi people in general) is that you will have to face weird and intrusive questions. Everything from your job to your marital status and your weight will be questioned, and most of the time, you just have to grin and bear it. Of course, if you’ve had it up to here with this nonsense, you aren’t alone. If you’re looking for some snarky ways to give back to these so-called “well-wishers”, we’ve got some witty replies that you can use. So for your own good, aunties, and uncles, this is a request to avoid making these statements and asking these questions and focus on your own lives instead. Here are nine rude statements that every desi girl has probably heard at some point in her life:
1. “OMG, You’ve Gained So Much Weight”
I don’t know if someone ever told you this, but how much someone weighs on a scale really doesn’t matter as long as it’s not harming their health. Maybe you have the time to hit the gym 7 hours a day, but unfortunately, my work and prior commitments don’t let me. Not all of us are rich or have the time to spend working out (not that there’s anything wrong if you do work out).
2. “Oh, You’re A Humanities Student? How Will You Get A Job?”
Oh, but didn’t you study science and you’re still unemployed? Clearly, this shows that the stream or degree doesn’t matter as much as hard work and determination. Maybe I’ll use my humanities degree to become a professor, or perhaps I’ll just become a go-go dancer. Either way, none of this is your concern.
3. “Aren’t You Old Enough For Marriage Now”
Dear Auntie, I understand that you were a child bride, but that doesn’t mean that I have to be. Thankfully, my parents are pretty modern and believe that a woman should be educated, settled and happy with her life before she decides to get married, regardless of her age. I appreciate your concern, but I pray that you don’t say this to your own daughter.
4. “In Our Days We Weren’t Allowed To Do XYZ”
In your days, women weren’t even allowed to leave their homes without their fathers’/husbands permission, so maybe we shouldn’t be bragging about those days. I’m sorry that you grew up with restrictive parents who didn’t let you live your life, but lucky for our generation; we don’t have to deal with that.
5. “Why Are You Wearing Shorts At Home?”
Oh, maybe because it is MY home. If someone chooses to enter your home and tells you not to wear your salwar kameez, would you be okay with that? No? Well, then why don’t you leave younger women alone and let them decide what they want to wear. If an uncle enters my house and is so scandalized by my bare legs, maybe he should lock himself indoors and stay away from the general public.
6. “Who Is That Boy? Is He Your Boyfriend?”
No uncle, he’s my gay best friend! Even if he is my boyfriend, how does it affect you? Does it upset you that women finally have the right to choose who they want to date/marry? Are you scared that your ladla beta will not find any matches that would be ready to settle for him because of this? Well, that’s too bad then.
7. “Don’t Your Parents Feed You Anything?”
Can’t you see, Auntie, my parents are training me for a special pageant. It’s called “mind-your-own-business”. What I choose to eat or what my parents decide to feed me is really none of your concern, and just as I don’t pass rude comments on your weight, I’d suggest you refrain from passing comments on mine.
8. “Oh I See Hair Loss, Let Me Give You A Herbal Remedy”
Sorry for my genetics. Maybe I should go back in time and ask my dad to marry someone who doesn’t have hair fall problems. Whether my hair touches the floor or I’m bald, I don’t need your solutions or advice. Moreso, herbal remedies don’t suit every person out there, so it’s silly to expect me or someone else to follow your advice blindly.
9. “Why Are You So Shy?”
And why are you so talkative? Maybe I’m someone who prefers not to speak openly around people I am uncomfortable with. Or perhaps I just don’t like talking unnecessarily, and I’m more of an introvert. In any case, it isn’t polite of you to point out attributes about my personality that should be none of your business.
Of course, using these lines might earn you a few glares at the next family gathering, but do you really care? If relatives can keep pushing your boundaries and being unnecessarily rude, you can return the favor. Do let us know all of your thoughts on this article in the comment section below!