Happy couples aren’t just born. Oh no, my friend, they’re made.
It is supremely vital that after a long, mind-numbing day, you spend a few intimate moments with your better half – sadly, most couples seem to forget this. It doesn’t really matter how long you spend basking in each other’s company before you fall asleep. Whether it’s an hour or a handful of minutes, all that matters is that the two of you finish the day talking, laughing or simply expressing your love for each other.
Below is a list of 11 simple rules that happy couples, who have stood the test of time, swear by. If you have ever wondered about what the secret to harmonious happiness is, then, look no further. Take some notes too – you’re so going to need them.
1. No Working In Bed, Please
Just like politics and religion, your work emails have no place in bed, so don’t you dare enter the bed you two share with your work computer. Pillow talk is a means for couples to gauge each other’s emotional wavelength, forget their daily woes, and just unwind.
Hence, save all that talk of financial troubles and work commitments for breakfast tomorrow. The night is yours. There are oh-so many better ways to get rid of all that restless energy. Wink wink.
2. Time To Put Your Smartphone On Silent
When you’re busy checking your Instagram feed or updating your Facebook status, you’re also simultaneously, and rather unwittingly, sending your partner a very dangerous message: I have priorities and you don’t make the list.
While maintaining social networking is essential in this day and age, keep up with your online friends while you’re commuting to work. In bed, once the clock strikes nine, switch off your cell or simply put it away.
3. Build A Routine, As A Team
A nighttime routine can help you sleep better. Going through a familiar set of actions that your brain associates with sleep helps your body prep for the approaching bedtime. If you choose to follow a night regime along with your partner, it could help boost the intimacy in your relationship.
4. Go To Bed At The Same Time
If you’re on that 9 to 5 work schedule, then you, like most couples, don’t get to see your partner through the long day. If you also possess a habit of simply crashing without waiting up for your partner, then you’re only making a bad problem worse. According to most psychologists, happy couples are those who decide to call it a night together. This helps in maintaining the intimacy and warmth in their relationship.
5. Never Go To Bed Angry
Probably the most cardinal of rules, and equally difficult to follow, never get involved in any heated arguments before you both fall asleep. Not only will the unresolved drama kill any urge to sleep, it will also continue the next morning. Awkward.
6. Bare Your Soul, Talk It Out
Heart-to-hearts are an essential ritual that every happy couple worth their salt follows. In this bedtime routine, it’s vital you pay attention to your partner’s feelings. Don’t be impatient to immediately solve their dilemmas. Give your partner some credit – they probably have the solution all figured out. Sometimes, all they want is for you to show your love and support by simply listening.
7. Keep The Bedroom Kid-Free
The only time you should allow your children to share the bed is if they happen to suffer a nightmare. Other than that, your bedroom should remain a private sanctuary for you and your partner to take refuge in and enjoy each other.
8. And That Goes for Pets Too!
Yes, this includes your pets as well! There will be no species discrimination here. Kids, pets, and electronics don’t belong in the private sanctuary for two that every happy couple possesses.
9. Share A Night Time Massage
Not only can a good shoulder rub help boost your intimacy, it can also improve sleep quality and decrease any potential anxiety. Can’t ask for a better deal really.
10. No Smoking Or Drinking In Bed
Some couples like to enjoy a glass of the good old red before they call it a night as it helps to build a somewhat romantic environment. However, as your body processes all that alcohol in your system, the restorative phase of your sleep subsequently shortens, which leads to a tired, moody, and all out grumpier you the next morning. Cigarettes, on the other hand, promote insomnia.
11. Finally, Never Forget To Cuddle. A lot.
Yep. You’d think they wouldn’t, but some couples actually do need a healthy reminder from time to time. Kissing and snuggling before falling asleep, even for a short few minutes, can help produce oxytocin, aka the love hormone, which increases intimacy. Bonus? It can also lead to other intimacy-boosting-happy-hormone-releasing activities.
Changing your nighttime habits may be hard, but in the end, they’re worth all the effort. After all, to quote the French novelist, George Sand, “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
Now, she had her priorities straight.