The 30 Things That Happen When You Turn 30

Written by Shamita Dhingra

The famous maxim ‘time and tide wait for none’ seems to be describing the process of aging. By the time you are almost settled after finishing your education, securing your job, maybe marrying your lesser half, or having a child or two (time, energy, and situation permitting), you suddenly realize that you have hit the 30 mark.

Turning 30 is the point from where you might start to experience the downhill journey, unless you are one of those fitness and diet divas that advertisers cash on! For us lesser mortals, 30 may be only the beginning of the new 60, when you are afflicted by your hormones, fatigue, weight gain, and the stress of balancing work and home.

And how do the above factors become so obvious? Let’s take a look!

1. Your SOCIAL MEDIA accounts have either FAMILY PORTRAITS or FITNESS GEEKS. One demonstrates your reality and the other your dream!

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2. You are plagued by places that demand your ID CARD and people who REMIND YOU of your age.

3. When you have to attend events, nothing makes you happier than to get a PLACE to REST those tired BUMS and FEET.

4. You are suddenly elevated in stature and referred to by UNCOOL forms of address like ‘MADAM’.

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5. The loud and HAPPENING EVENTS/FESTS going on for days that excited you once now seem like an UNENDING NIGHTMARE.

6. When you narrate your HIGH-SCHOOL STORIES, they seem to be from an ANCIENT AGE.

7. You wonder why children call you ‘AUNTY,’ mindfully dismissing your ticking age.

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8. When you watch OLD TV RE-RUNS, you are surprised at how much you represent the OLDER CHARACTERS.

9. You are FED UP of LOUD MUSIC and WILD PARTIES next door, interfering with solitude and peace of your 30 plus stage.

10. When you GO OUT, your bag contains DIGESTIVE PILLS instead of gloss and touch ups.

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11. You start to avoid BARS and CLUBS because they are for sound immune youngsters and not MATURED EXTRA-SENSITIVE LADIES.

12. You can’t imagine binging on alcohol without getting HORRIBLE HANGOVERS. And you wonder how you could do it before this.

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13. Now that you are worried about WRINKLES, FINE LINES, and CROW’S FEET, SUNSCREEN becomes your latest weapon.

14. Many things that you indulged in in the past seem CHILDISH now. Be it fancy dressing or shouting out loud while walking about on the streets.

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15. You start to DISCOVER PAIN that is present in all possible joints and movements – be it the neck, legs or the back.

16. Gone are the reckless days of impulsive spending. You are far more CAREFUL about how you use that CREDIT CARD now. Finances and savings have become an important part of your life.

17. When you see your BIOLOGICAL CLOCK ticking away, you contemplate about your MATERNAL instincts and decide to choose between having a dog or a child. Or maybe having both. Or maybe none.

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18. The carefree NOMADIC traveling, RANDOM STAYS, and IRREGULAR FOOD are now not an option anymore. You want your travel to be more planned and comfortable.

19. You don’t keep a TAB on the latest CHARTBUSTERS that rule the radio and television.

20. You are more of a HOMEBODY compared to your earlier version of a party animal.

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21. With every passing year after 30, you start becoming more comfortable and less conscious of your body, and that includes your POOPING HABITS as well.

22. You often get fascinated by the fact that by 30, your PARENTS already had it ALL – the career, the children, and the house.

23. Now your WARDROBE reflects COMFORT and EASE rather than style and trends.

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24. You might have already started to lose out on the ever-racing TECHNOLOGICAL advancements and might have to rely on the younger crop to enlighten you.

25. Your supermarket trolley contains more VEGETABLES, FRUITS, and HEALTHY GRAINS than unhealthy junk.

26. You have only a vague idea about the latest things that are TRENDING on YouTube or social media.

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27. You relax by enjoying INDOOR HOBBIES like painting, reading or sculpting rather than trotting about.

28. You cannot manage a NIGHT OUT without feeling endlessly GROGGY the day after.

29. You SCRUTINIZE yourself, checking if any new lines or wrinkles have made an appearance.

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30. You have a more REGULATED SCHEDULE, and you avoid sleeping late at night. Erratic schedule now makes you grumpy.

These were some 30 odd things that reflect the changes that your body and mind go through when you turn 30. Well, it is not an instant change, rather a gradual one. You become more comfortable in your skin and do not do things just to please somebody else. Turning thirty is all about acquiring more experience and wisdom, albeit with a little less energy and patience!!!

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