Every relationship is unique, owing to the involvement of two different individuals, who are unique in their own ways. It is woven into a delicate fabric of love, trust, a commitment that evolves with passing time. In modern times, the face of love and relationships is changing very rapidly. It is because the definition and dimensions of relationship goals are very different from the generations gone by.
Why is there so much change in the structure of couple relationships? There is a lot of invulnerability, insensitivity, strange detachment, escapism and false ways of coping with troubles and difficulties. There is also a huge communication gap and it is ruining the happy fulfilled image that we associate with love and marriage.
Here are 5 reasons why relationships are failing so miserably. It is important that we take note of these factors and try to re-boot our thoughts and habits to experience and treasure a more harmonious and contented companionship with our partners.
1. Instant Gratification
Love in its true form needs time, efforts and patience. But in today’s fast-paced world, love also demands speed and convenience it seems. Just like the gadgets, people are out there for instant gratification and then change and upgradation. It is more fashionable to roam with arm-candies, have one-night flings, use escort services, and have no-strings-attached relationships. It is because it provides one-time pleasure, without the requirement of emotional involvement. People are becoming commitment–phobic because of petty ego clashes. The levels of adjustments and tolerance are so low that people don’t think twice before breaking up and moving on. This has led to an alarming rise in familial discord and divorce. And the children from such relationships who suffer separation of their parents, may grow up to be equally commitment-phobic and an insecure generation.
2. The Affair with the Technology
When we head for our homes, gadgets fill our mind space more than the family. Invariably, we are found with mobiles, television, laptops or tablets. These gifts of technology are meant to keep us connected, but what is happening today is the exact opposite. The couples enjoy their me-time glued to their smartphones, hardly any more connected to each other. Social scientists believe that the phenomena of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and anxiety disorder to be constantly in touch with mobiles called Nomophobia are on rise. There seems to be a peer pressure to upload images of each outing, vacation, dinner that the couple has together and match up with the rest. The same pouts, happy poses seem only replicas of the other couple out there. The final straw to the damage is the dating apps that are replacing the traditional sense of relationships with the convenience of quick hook-ups.
3. Shallow Relationship Goals and Negative Role Models
Continuous celebrity surveillance on their private life and relationships has become the norm today. It is unfortunate that the youth thinks it’s fashionable to fall in and out of love as per one’s wish, and convenience, just like their celebrity role models. Posting intimate pictures and videos garner high rate of viewings and therefore voyeurism is on the rise than ever before. Unhealthy relationship trends like extra-marital affairs, cheating, multiple partners, etc. are even forming the content of so-called reality TV and web shows. What started as entertainment/ amusement is becoming the ugly reality of relationships in today’s world.
4. Negating Vulnerability and Sensitivity
Being honest with our self and being sensitive and vulnerable towards our partner makes all the difference in a relationship. When two people come together, they are usually at their best selves, but gradually they do exhibit what they really are. The habits, mannerisms or traits of one may not be pleasant to the other, but if one is understanding and compassionate, the bridges can be crossed. We need not pretend and be guarded of our opinions and feelings. This can be emotionally overwhelming. So, to make a relationship work, we should abandon the anxiety of judgment and be true to ourselves and be empathetic and considerate towards our partner.
5. Exercising Sexual Freedom
Equipped with personal freedom, weaned orthodoxy, and ever-evolving technology, we don’t seem to have a limit or stop to anything that we wish to indulge in. And that includes sex. Being loyal to one’s partner seems to have lost its cool quotient. Therefore, people don’t seem to mind being adventurous with respect to sexual practices. There is a rising trend of having sex outside of a marriage or relationship that guarantees instant action and sexual satisfaction. Pre-marital and extra-marital sex, bisexuality, pornography, everything has come out of the closet to be accepted by a large part of the society. Such trends discourage the permanence of conjugal love or love in an otherwise stable relationship.
To make the bonding stronger, it is not necessary that we become archaic or traditional in our values, but there must be integrity in a relationship. Not just love, having respect and kindness for the other person is equally important. Just being self-centred and reaching for instant gratification does not promote healthy relationship ideals.