This Is All That’s Wrong With Dating In 2019
Niharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... read full bio
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Dating has its own set of ups and downs for everyone regardless of which generation you were brought up in. However, there are some factors that are unique to those dating in this day and age. Here is our list of dating problems that are unique to our generation:
1. Online Dating Is The New Norm
Contrary to what your parents tell you, online dating is not a new-age concept. Virtual or non-organic dating has been around for decades if not longer. In the 1600s, with the advent of the Gutenberg Press, people would put out personalized ads looking for partners to wed. In modern form, these are called matrimonial ads. So how did we go from advertising in newspapers to Tinder? When it comes down to actual online dating, a computer dating service called Operation Match was launched in 1965. The service was started by Harvard University undergraduates looking to match like-minded people together.
Modern dating apps were invented for this very reason. To help like-minded and similar folks meet up at a neutral setting and get to know each other. However, things took a turn for the worse in 2012 when the infamous ‘hookup’ app Tinder graced our app and play stores. Tinder is a location-based ‘dating’ app service. Users are given the option to right swipe (like) or left swipe (dislike) a person. If the person likes you back, you get matched and can start texting.
Tinder has genuinely changed the dating game. But it also often leaves people vulnerable to being put in dangerous situations. The app is littered with people trying to catfish others and has often been called vapid and ‘soul-sucking’ because of its ability to make you lose yourself once you’re in. A lot of people use these apps for casual flings and one-night stands rather than serious relationships. Due to reasons like this, apps like Tinder are often classified as apps that propagate and encourage ‘hookup’ culture (1) (2).
2. True Courtship Is Dead
What happened to those days of candle-lit dinners and romantic walks? Carrie Bradshaw had us believing in the thrill of the chase ever since she made her TV screen debut in 1998. Although the reality isn’t all peaches and flowers, it’s almost like people have forgotten the concept of trying to impress their partners and winning over their affection with small gifts. No more pulling out the chair for your partner, driving to their house to ask their parents for permission, no more random roses falling out of your high-school locker. Whatever happened to romance and the thrill of the chase?
3. Ghosting Exists
No, ghosting isn’t when you die and decide to haunt potential love interests. Ghosting is when you have been talking to someone you met online but decide to stop talking to them with no explanation or block them off your social media. Considering the fact that the primary communication mode of our generation is texting, is it really acceptable to ditch someone with zero explanation? Why leave the other person second-guessing what they did wrong or how they hurt you? Rather than lead them on and cause emotional distress to the person, just be upfront about the fact that you’re not interested in them.
4. What You Look Like Is Everything
Let’s be real. We’re all a little superficial on the inside and looks do matter. But this does not mean you flat out reject someone you don’t consider in your league. Of course, nobody is entitled to go out with you, and if you truly can’t stand the other person, it’s okay to reject them. Dating apps like Tinder put your face right up front for everyone to see. They have to decide whether they want to go out with you in those few milliseconds before they swipe to the next person. So where is the time to sit and spend two-three minutes going through someone’s bio?
5. The Ghosts Of Our Past Still Haunt Us
Our generation seems to have the hardest time letting go and moving on. It’s ridiculous that so many people are still stuck on their exes and refuse to move on and commit to other people. Of course, breakups are tough, and you might have felt like your ex was the greatest gift God gave humanity. But, let’s be real? If you call them your ex, you call them your ex for a reason. Sometimes, relationships just don’t work out, and nobody is to blame. Rather than spending the rest of your days wallowing in self-pity get out there and explore. Meet new people, travel, take up a new hobby, etc. Find yourself before you go looking for the next fling.
6. What Are We?
A question that plagues many young lovers across the globe. Let’s paint a picture- you’ve been ‘seeing’ each other for a few months now, you’ve met each other’s friends, gone on romantic dates, travelled, etc. There’s only one problem; they don’t want to commit to you. So how do you deal with someone non-committal? You walk away.
7. Let’s Take A Break
This begs the proverbial question — Does it count as cheating if you were on a break? A lot of people these days seem to think otherwise. Let’s face the harsh truth; many couples who’ve been dating for some time have gone through at least one break up. But what happens during this break is rarely brought up if the couple gets back together. Once the partner gets bored of seeing other people, they eventually come running back to what they perceive as comfort.
They say all’s fair in love and war, but what about in casual dating and small fights? While times may be changing and dating apps may be reforming themselves, landing up in a healthy relationship seems almost impossible in this day and age. Do you agree with our list? What modern-day dating problems plague you? Let us know in the comments below.
