A significant chunk of each day of our lives is spent in our heads. We think we rationalize, we argue, we plan, and we make decisions in our minds before we put them out in words and turn them into concrete reality. Dwell as much as you do in your mind, it is important to keep it clean, or the useless clutter can cloud your judgment, tilt you towards negative thoughts and suck all the happiness out of your system. This clutter manifests itself in the form of negative mental habits. Here are eight such habits that can ruin your mood and rob your happiness.
1. Constant feeling of guilt
If you keep beating yourself up over something you have done, that means you haven’t forgiven yourself. Living in regret, the blunders you’ve made, the hearts you’ve broken, the people you’ve disappointed and the lies you’ve uttered can weigh you down considerably, trapping you in an endless cycle of guilt. If you want to keep yourself happy, forgiving yourself is very important so that you can move on and bury the hatchet.
2. Holding a grudge
Well, to be honest, forgiving others is as important as forgiving yourself. Grudges evoke bitterness in your heart towards the one you hold it against. And every time you think about the person who hurt you, you will inevitably end up poking your own wounds. This is why forgiving those who’ve hurt you is important as it helps in the healing of emotional wounds. Also, when you forgive others for the mistakes they’ve made, you open new doors of happiness for yourself.
3. Being ungrateful
Being grateful is not equivalent to saying thank you as a reflex. That’s just manners. Being grateful is a lot more than that. It’s about appreciating what you have rather than criticizing what you didn’t get. You should never waste your time and energy grumbling over why the man took the last seat on the bus, or why the pigeon crapped on your head. Instead, you should look around you and see how significantly better your life is in comparison to others and be thankful for it. That’s gratitude.
4. Having an extreme thought process
It’s true that rationalizing any scenario is the key to getting a clear picture of it. But overthinking is quite far from it. The same holds true for your shifting moods that are dependent on external factors. For example, if something makes you happy, you cannot go overboard with it and throw confetti at everyone. Neither can you let yourself sink into the deepest pits of sadness when that happiness is over. The key is to find the right balance so you can always be content.
5. Being hypocritical
This happens to the best of us. In certain situations, you might be quick to judge someone else for their actions without fully knowing about their circumstances as well as their thought process. However, when in a similar place yourself, you may take the same decision and be completely okay with it. Your expectations of others are probably higher than those for yourself. Whatever it may be, being a hypocrite can gnaw away at your peace of mind and make it hard for you to live with yourself.
You are not the same person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are right now next year. So if you cannot be the same, how can you expect everyone else to be? Generalizing is a bad thing. Thinking that all men are insensitive or all women are bitchy can prevent you from seeing the good in people and appreciating them for what they are. It can make you doubt your choices and can consequently make you trust-phobic. You should let this attitude go so you can appreciate and trust those around you.
7. Not taking the command of a situation
When nothing goes the way you want it to, you can invariably feel that nothing is under your control. While it’s true that you cannot plan out every moment of your life, you still possess the power to change the twists and turns it takes with the decisions you make. And that also means making the wrong decisions every once in a while. Because no matter what, at least you’ll know that your life took the course you wanted it to.
8. Hoping for someone else to make you happy
Most of us wait for the love of our life to come on a white horse and save us from our miserable lives and fill it with happiness. But even if your soulmate does come along, they won’t be able to make you happy till you’re not happy with yourself. Your happiness should never be entirely dependent on someone else. Your life is too short, and it’s your responsibility to paint your best smile on your face.