Gender Equality A Myth In India; Women Critiqued And Judged While Men Get Away With Murder
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For ages, we lived in a man’s world, and it was “normal”. We are lucky that we are witnessing the changes that are coming forth. We are luckier, for we are a part of this conversation about making the world a better place for women. A few decades ago, no woman would have had a seat at the table.
Though we have had many progressive movements in favor of women (and still counting), there is much that isn’t talked about at the grassroots. Most of them are severe enough to warrant serious debates. Our culture may seem to have changed over time, but there is more to it than what meets the eye. For example, double standards are still devoutly followed. Here are a few of the things that are “normal” when men do it and are not OK when women do.
1. Having A Personality
Serious women who dare to be themselves are always seen as a threat to men. Either men feel intimidated by them or want to see them as “unconventional”. There are labels such as “rebels”, “feminists”, and a bunch of other derogatory names dedicated for such women. They are seen as misfits, whereas ideally, there should not be a box to fit in. Generalizations such as “women like pink” and “selfie queen” come from the idea that women are supposed to act fickle while men get to play more serious roles.
It is somehow considered unnatural for women to show anger (other than in “catfights”) or disappointment while “angry young man” stands for a remarkable personality.
2. Stating that She Doesn’t Want To Marry
A woman saying that she doesn’t want to get married still raises eyebrows. When a man says that, it means that he is chivalrous, a playboy, a casanova, or the one who is living the dream. He is considered free of the shackles of marriage. On the other hand, a spinster is seen as desolate, reject, unwanted, and probably desperate. The notion that a woman needs the protection of a man is still prevalent in our minds.
3. Being Boldly Opinionated
Being knowledgeable and having strong opinions are still not considered attractive qualities for a woman. The saying that the best ornament a woman can wear is her smile says a lot about how society expects women to be docile and silent. Men are expected to show a certain level of cunning and smartness. If a woman displays these skills, she is called a nerd, feisty, abrasive, and wild.
Though there is nothing unusual about a man dishing out his opinions about politics, life, and of course, women, when a woman is found doing the same, she is suddenly difficult, off the leash, and needs to be taught a lesson.
4. Making Raunchy Comments
Making inappropriate remarks, objectifying women, and being aggressively sly are everyday phenomena in men’s world. Women, on the other hand, are expected to behave themselves, especially in public. If a woman makes off-beat remarks about men, intimate experiences, or the human body, society is quick to label her as a “slut”, “bitch”, or “characterless”.
5. Talking About Their Physical Needs
Women have physical needs too. For centuries, these desires of women have been kept under wraps because men thought it was inappropriate to talk about it. Not just that, until some bold women writers and activists came forward to openly state that women have physical desires too and ventured to discuss it, people were under the impression was that acts of love were a game for men. Till now, not a lot of women feel comfortable discussing their desires in the open, because there is still a lot of stigma around it. Interestingly, one’s “manliness” is measured based on the number of bedroom conquests he has made.
6. Showing Skin
For some strange reason, men walking around shirtless or in shorts is not worth a second look, but when it comes to women, it is the more, the better. Women are expected to dress “modestly”, which means if you are fully clad from head to toe, you will be considered sanskari. The danger in this approach is that when a girl in a short skirt is attacked or assaulted, she is victim shamed. While dressing appropriately according to the occasion is right, asking women to dress “modestly” is society telling women what to do.
7. Getting An Eyeful
Physical attraction is natural. Appreciating someone’s appearance need not be a taboo. However, some go overboard and make people uncomfortable with their stares. Nobody bats an eyelid when men ogle at women. However, some cannot even imagine a world where men are at the receiving end of it. Why? Because it is unpleasant.
We are just trying to point out that certain behaviors are normalized in society. But then again, by an interesting mix of misogyny, double standards, and gender norms, society is not very forgiving when women indulge in the same behavior.
