5 Behaviors That Ruin A Relationship
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You know, as a woman, I take an issue with these rom-coms that are manufactured to be the wish-fulfilling fantasies of every twenty-something. And before you jump to any conclusions, the issue is not that they present the world as distorted or that they are heteronormative and ageist (which, to be very frank, they are).
Rather my problem lies in the fact that they conclude before the reality set in, as in they draw the curtains at the “happily-ever-after”. Perhaps a true rom-com would be the one which shows the life of a couple as they struggle to find love long after the honeymoon phase in their relationship has come and gone.
We all are guilty of being a little laid back when we have finally won over the object of our affections. And being a little lax is no crime. But what happens when this develops into patterns of behavior that prove to be potentially fatal to the relationship. And you wouldn’t want that now, would you? And because we always have your back, we have created a little cheat sheet that will help you escape the traps of such behavioral patterns that have the power to wreck your relationships. Read and be-aware!
1. Constant Nitpicking
Yes, we know that no one is perfect. But when you have been in a relationship for quite some time, you easily fall into a pattern of nitpicking each other’s flaws. Whether it’s his messy lifestyle or the fact that you are a world-renowned late-lateef, no one thinks twice before pointing these flaws out. It’s quite all right if you do that, just don’t make it a habit to constantly nag him/her over it.
A more mature way of dealing with this would be to sit your partner down and calmly explain to them why and how their behavior bothers you. This will save you from falling down from their graces.
2. Avoiding Conflict
You know there are some people who avoid conflict at all costs and then when it becomes too much for them, they erupt in a fashion similar to that of the Mt. Vesuvius. Suppose you are going out, and your partner says or does something that is very unkind or off-the-color, in passing, you brush it under the carpet so as to not ruin the outing. This happens once, twice and then it becomes a pattern. And instead of resolving those conflicts, you begin resenting them.
Needless to say, just because you bury your head in the sand, it won’t stop the world from ending. Rather, choose an opportune moment, and talk it out.
3. Letting Your Fun Time Take A Back Seat
And by fun, we mean fun, the kind of playtime that takes place between the sheets. Remember the initial phase of your relationship, when you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other? Then life happened, and your intimate life gradually fell by the wayside. And most of us are familiar with this routine. But the crucial bit is that we let it fall by the wayside.
Rather, you should make some time for your partner where you can connect in a more physical sense. Besides, it’s a more fun way to burn a few calories! So cash in on that.
4. Not Respecting Each Other
Respect, when it comes to a relationship can manifest itself in myriad ways. It might be that they aren’t comfortable with the idea of marriage and kids and you constantly push them towards it, instead of respecting their choice.
It can be that you constantly poke fun of their career choices or their style, and you think you are just bantering. But eventually, this passes the realm of banter.
Even if you are just venting to a friend, be mindful that it doesn’t cross the line. Adopt the tedha hai par mera hai attitude folks! And reap its benefits later.
5. Dishonesty
I know you are thinking, “well, duh”. I know dishonesty in it’s most obvious form — adultery — can certainly wreck a relationship. But it doesn’t necessarily mean just that. Dishonesty can also be a pattern where you fib to her/him constantly, little white lies. Like you have done the chore that they asked you to do when in reality you didn’t. This in itself won’t be as much of a problem, but if your partner identifies this pattern, they will probably question as to why are they with someone who feels the need to hide the truth over something inconsequential. In one word, this behavior is — off-putting. Rather just open up to your mistakes, and pledge to do better.
Yes, watching GOT without your partner would probably not kill your relationship, but it would surely drive them up a wall. Take our advice, and avoid these potential relationship death-traps. If you know of any other pattern of behavior that is very harmful to a relationship, let us know in the comments section.
