Dear Future Husband, Please Don’t Judge Me For These 7 Things

Written by Shamita Dhingra

We belong to the age of millennials and our life is greatly different from the generation that belonged to our elders. Societal norms are changing like never before, and women are getting a stronger foothold in every sphere of life.

Which is why it’s no wonder that the dynamics of relationships are also making a shift for the best! Even in marriage, there is a greater acceptance of what a girl might want from the alliance. And this is a very important factor in relationships – the freedom to make choices.

Freedom to make one’s own choices is not a privilege, it’s a basic right. If we don’t have the freedom to live our lives as we want, it may have a very negative impact on our married life. And having a great married life is all about mutual love, understanding, respect, and compatibility. Isn’t it?

So here, I want to express a few things that I believe in, and I want my future husband to accept them and love me as I am – without judgement and without conditions.

1. My Relationships Are My Past

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I may have had relationships in the past, but they have only helped me to grow and have a better understanding of what my strengths are and what I look for in my life partner. It has made me more mature and confident about myself and my relationship with my future husband.

2. Being A Virgin

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It is very humiliating to judge my character for my intact or broken hymen. I don’t think in this day and age the subject of virginity should come in between the love and trust that my husband me would share. Bottom line? I don’t think it matters at all!

3. I Love My Space

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How much ever I love my husband, I would love to have some solitary moments as well. Even an hour of practicing simple relaxation techniques like going for a walk, sitting for meditation, pursuing some hobby or simply reading something can all do wonders! It gives me the time and space to connect with my own self.

Being married or in love doesn’t mean sticking together all the time. My ‘me-time’ is an absolute must-have thing for me, and I expect my husband to respect that. In fact, I want him to have some time for himself too!

4. My Bond With My Family

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I don’t give value to the archaic beliefs that the in-laws become a girl’s ‘real’ family after marriage. Of course, my in-laws will become a very important part of my extended identity as a wife and daughter-in-law, but I’ll always be the darling daughter of my parents. So, I would like us (my husband and I) to both love, respect, and spend time with both sets of parents equally.

5. My Love For Independence

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Yes, I am professionally settled, financially secure, love to travel all by myself, have my own set of friends, can fix minor circuit issues, can change tyres and do many more things, but that doesn’t make me any less of a girl!

On the contrary, my husband should be proud to have such a dependable wife to whom he can turn to in case of any need. My love for independence and self-reliance makes me a great companion and can be no reason for any insecurity.

6. My Splurges And My Savings

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Yes, I have an income and I have my priorities chalked out well. It’s a great responsibility to share the costs and manage our new life and home. True, it’s a beautiful way to share our resources and boost our prospects; however, I am not liable to hand over my entire salary, and neither do I expect my husband to do so. I am mindful about the savings, but I would also love to splurge some money on my parents, friends, outings, hobbies, makeup and so on, and I believe that shouldn’t be a problem with my husband.

7. Sharing Household Work

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As spouses, I expect us to contribute equally towards our new home. Being educated, independent, and earning well, the share of household chores shouldn’t be a one-man – or should I say ‘one-woman’? – territory. I would like both of us to take turns to do the cooking, dishes, laundry, and cleaning in case the maid doesn’t turn up or the need arises to do so. These are life-skills that every person should know, and doing them doesn’t make a man less manly.

With changing times, the idea of marriage has also changed a lot. It has finally given a voice to what a woman feels and wants. I am sure my words are not just my own and it reflects what every modern girl wants from her marriage. So, the future husbands, take note of the above things and don’t judge us for what we are – independent, confident, and loving beings who can be great partners!

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