Sometimes it’s over, sometimes it’s not. And sometimes, you don’t know. This makes you wonder if you should give him a second chance. This dilemma is probably worse than the break-up itself. After most ugly flare-ups and break-ups, there is still that chance ofa reunion, and you don’t know whether or not to take the chance. We understand that you are torn apart. We’d like to simplify it for you. Ask yourselves these questions and honestly answer them. You’ll know what to do.
1. Will You Be Able To Forgive Him?
Once you’ve had butterflies in your tummy for a guy, the next time you see him – whether it is the next day or the next year – you will most likely continue to have that thing for him. Even after he’s cheated on you, for whatever reason, you will still feel for him. However, when you are trying to patch up, it is all rosy in the beginning. But that incident is not going to stop haunting you. This is why you should shut the butterflies off and ask yourself whether you will be able to forgive him for that once and for all. If you are planning on bringing back the memories of the incident, it is not worth trying the second time. If it is about thinking of giving him a second chance, then think whether you can start with a clean slate.
2. Is The Guy Worth It?
Well, this is one of the most important questions you should ask yourself. You have gone through a lot of drama because of the flare-up and are now trying to emotionally undo everything that has happened. Sometimes, you can’t even undo certain things. Do you think he is worth all the effort? And if you feel he is, why did you part ways in the first place? You better have concrete answers for all these questions if you are wondering whether to give him a second chance or not. So, is the guy worth your emotions, time, companionship, and more importantly, trust? With the ‘trust’ factor entering the scene, things always are slightly tricky.
3. If This Repeats, Are You Game For It?
That’s another major criterion you ought not miss. Mistakes do happen, for, we are all humans and are not foolproof. BUT, don’t you think a person who cheated once is capable of cheating again? If he didn’t stand up for you once (it could be a one-time thing too) he is capable of doing it again – it is very much there in him. So, create a scenario in your mind – what if this repeats? Do you still want to give this a chance? This question is not to make you paranoid, neither is it to make you jump to conclusions that he (and all other hes) is always going to cheat. It purely is to prevent yourself from falling into the same ditch over and over again. If it is a one-time thing – wonderful. If this repeats – are you ready?
4. Do You Still Feel For Him?
When a guy cheats on you, it feels amazing when he comes back begging for your attention. Is this why you want to give him a second chance? Are you thinking of it only because you like the attention? You should rather check if you still love him after all the mess. Definitely, you might not love him the same way you once did. Things have changed drastically, and you are now exposed to an ugly side of his. You might still love him after all this, but the way you love him will invariably change. It is now a mixture of feelings that include fear (of losing him), anger (that he cheated), hatred (because he could actually do this to you), sadness (because he wasn’t there when you wanted him the most), and even empathy (because you can put yourself in his shoes and can actually forgive him for that mistake). Amidst all this, do you still love him? Is love still the predominant emotion? The answer to this question will make it easy for you to decide.
5. Is He Trying Too?
While all this was about you – whether you love him, can forgive him, and think he is worth it – what is he up to? Do you see him making efforts? Is he trying to have you back in his life? The problem with forgiving is you don’t often know where to draw the line. The pleasure that comes from forgiving the gravest of errors is so satisfying that you tend to forget if he is trying to get back to you or not. In reality, love is just about giving. Thinking of whether the other person is reciprocating or not is not usually the right thing to do. However, when it comes to a relationship that you think should last long and that too, after this kind of a twist in the tale, it is important for you to find out if he wants it as much as you do. Or, at least, ask yourself if you are expecting him to rise to the occasion and take the initiative for a patch-up. So, it boils down to two questions again – is he trying? Is his trying important for you to decide?
At first, these questions seem painfully confusing. But it is this brainstorming that will help you take a decision, and more importantly – the right decision. If things happen again, you, unfortunately, will have no one to blame. If you want to avoid any situations like that, be sure or be ready. What do you ask yourself in situations like this? Feel free to write in the comments section below.