Feeling Alone In A Relationship — Here’s Why — And What Can You Do

Feeling alone in a relationship is the most depressing feeling ever. Nobody wants to feel “single” or lonely when they are committed to someone who should make them feel included, appreciated, and unconditionally loved. If you feel detached from your partner, you’ll begin questioning yourself. And it would be good to know that you are not alone. Many complain of a similar feeling of loneliness — like they aren’t a part of the same team despite being in a relationship. When things are good, everything seems heavenly. However, when times are rough, the exact relationship makes you feel disregarded and dishonored. Relatable? If yes, then read on.

Feeling alone in a relationship can have a crippling effect on your mind. If you are in the same boat, feeling a sense of void and loneliness in your relationship, you would be naturally worried . Yes, your attachment style can influence your feeling of loneliness, but relational factors have a role to play. To help you, here we are to discuss what causes it, what it feels like, and what you can do to come closer and resolve the differences with your lover to feel seen, heard, and showered with affection.

What Are The Signs Of Loneliness In A Relationship?

Feeling left out or alone is a real struggle that can manifest in different ways for different people. Here are the most common ways you could feel cut off from your partner in your relationship:

•  Your partner disregards your options.
•  You are seldom cared for.
•  A sense of belongingness and connection is missing.
•  Speaking to your partner triggers your anxiety.
•  You feel demotivated to share important news with your partner, good or bad.
•  You feel unsure about the future of your relationship.
•  You are the only one making an effort.
•  You and your partner make plans without involving each other.
•  You feel hopeless and disinterested in your partner.
•  You are perpetually sad and hurt.

What Makes You Feel Alone In A Relationship?

There could be many reasons why people feel lonely in their partnerships. Here are some common ones that you should know of:

1. Lack Of Good Communication

Communication is the bedrock of a relationship. Poor communication can fizzle intimacy, making you feel a loss of involvement and connection in the relationship. When you struggle to communicate with respect and tolerance, it leads to a sense of separation. Let us give you a real-life scenario. Both of you have had a misunderstanding but none of you are ready to share your side of the story properly. Or one partner is simply refusing to hear their partner’s explanation out of anger. Some also tend to ghost the other person which makes things worse. Ghosting will only lead to more overthinking or useless scenarios in the head that may have never happened at all. It is bound to pull the two of you away and the feeling of loneliness will creep up.

2. You Are Romantically Incompatible

There is a general lack of compatibility between the partners. While the relationship could have begun on a great note, eventually, the attraction faded. It left you with feelings of resentment and unhappiness once you got closer and began discovering each other’s personalities better. There was nothing concrete to hold you together. At times like these, if both of you mutually agree about this disparity, you can agree to move on as friends. It’s true, some are better off as good friends than being in a romantic relationship together.

3.You Are In A Long-Distance Relationship

A long-distance relationship can have negative consequences. It is indeed a good test of your bond. Still, the total loss of physical presence and the exchange of physical affection and intimacy has resulted in feelings of being lonely or invisible. It is a subjective matter to think if long-distance really works or not. It depends on the efforts of both parties and their sense of commitment. Many have claimed that long-distance was the reason for their breakup. Either out of loneliness or a sense of fading feelings. One way to escape loneliness is to get creative with it. Watch virtual movies together, send each other gifts, play games, and do other fun virtual activities to not feel any emptiness.

4. You Are In An Abusive Relationship

There is a general lack of respect, understanding, and commitment in your relationship. Your partner does not feel the same amount of love and affection as you. They are selfish and pay no attention to your needs. It’s all about them, and you are left alone feeling depressed. You feel hurt and betrayed. The bitterness has stifled all your efforts to reconcile with your partner. Plus, the fear of abuse has caused you to maintain a distance from your partner.

5. Either Or Both Of You Has An Emotional Or Physical Issue

Either your partner or you are suffering from a medical condition. It could be a mental issue like depression, bipolar disorder, or chronic physical ailments that have bred hopelessness and a general loss of interest in self or the relationship. It is best to suggest that they take some time off from the relationship and work on bettering themselves first. Let’s face it, you can’t love someone else unless you love yourself first.

6. You Have Different Expectations From Life

When you don’t share the same wavelength with your partner, you could feel left out. There is a feeling of confusion and frustration because you can’t seem to get on the same page about your goals in life. If your journeys are different, it is apparent that you could feel disconnected.

How Can You Feel Less Lonely In Your Relationship?

If you feel lonely in your relationship, here are a few ways in which you can improve your bond and get closer to each other:

1. Tell Your Partner How You Feel

Let your partner know that their behavior has caused you much resentment and pain. Quite possibly, they aren’t aware that their actions are directly or indirectly making you feel lonely. Staying silent will do a lot of mental damage and you will be pretty much suffering alone. If you share your pain, your partner will be understanding and you both can solve the issue together.

2. Meet Your Friends And Family

If your partner is caught up in work or is physically away from you, you could instead make an effort to meet your family and friends, who are your support system. When you know you have people to lean on, you’ll feel secure and less unhappy.

3. Get Busy With Your Life

If you are alone, it may be inviting negative conversations in your head. It’s good to stay occupied by volunteering for a cause, signing up for a hobby class like painting, dancing, gardening, gymming, playing a sport, or learning a new skill at work.

4. Make Time For Each Other

Working together to mend the broken cords in the relationship can be done in so many ways. Take a day off, plan a date, schedule some exclusive quality time to get intimate, enroll in a class, or watch a fun or romantic movie together.

5. Talk To A Relationship Therapist

Relationships need work, and if you are struggling and you and your partner are willing to make it work, it would be a good idea to seek help. They could enlighten you with a whole new perspective and suggest practical ways to feel closer and enliven the connection in your partnership.

While being alone gives you enough time to self-reflect and focus on things without distractions, it is a downer when in a relationship. It’s a telltale sign that your relationship needs work. It’s painful and cruel to feel alone with a partner you have so much love for. Did you ever feel the same way in your relationship? How did you work on the feeling of loneliness in your relationship? Let us know in the comments below!

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