11 Funny & Not-So-Serious Lies We’re All Guilty Of Telling Our Mom-In-Law!

Written by Emaan Shah

If you’ve ever lied to your mom-in-law, well, join the club.

It’s called being human, people! So, don’t sweat it.

During those early years of marriage, before you gave up on maintaining the illusion of being perfect… Before the cat was out of the bag that you actually spend more time on Instagram than you spend praying, that you can’t really make perfectly round chapatis, that you actually possess the appetite of 3 grown starving men, and that cleaning doesn’t really give you pleasure (how do people even buy that?), well, before those oh-so-grand revelations came the lies.

Those itsy-bitsy, harmless white lies.

Come now, just spit it out—You’re guilty too. They aren’t really damn-your-soul-to-hell-worthy sins. At least, I think so.

Most of them are rather harmless and looking back, worthy of a laugh. Some of the gems we uttered with wide, innocent eyes deserve a pat on the back for they’ve helped us escape sticky, awkward situations that every married woman inevitably stumbles into with her hubby’s mom.

Since we’re feeling rather nostalgic, here are 11 of our favorite silly lies married women are guilty of delivering to their MIL. Enjoy!

1. “I Loved The Dress”

It’s your birthday, and the mommy-in-law gets you a present, which is absolutely wonderful of her, but – gasp of horror! – it’s a yellow sari that makes you resemble more of a recovering jaundiced patient than the ray of sunshine she claims. You know it’s the last thing you’d ever choose for yourself, yet, you still go ahead and gush about how you ADORE the dress, because, well, you’re a nice person.

Plus, you want her to love you.

2. “It Was His Idea”

When you enter sticky situations like justifying why you’re eating out again tonight or why you’re purchasing an unnecessary, swanky coffee machine, there’s a one size fits all answer for literally every dilemma: It was his idea!

This is the real-life ‘get-out-of-jail-free card’ for the monopoly you play with the in-laws. Every time you aren’t the ideal DIL, just claim it was your hubby’s wish and-voila! You’re in the clear. After all, you did promise to “love, cherish and obey” him.

 3. “Super Important Work Meeting, Sorry!”

It’s a kitty party with the mother-in-law’s BFFs and you’re as excited about it as you’d be for a root canal (translation: get me out of here!) So, what do you proceed to tell your MIL when she asks if you’re free Saturday afternoon?

Enter to the rescue a fictitious work meeting!

Yes, you do work on weekends. Yes, your boss is an absolute tyrant. Yes, it’s such a pity, isn’t it?

Phew!

4. “You Look Amazing”

You love your mother-in-law, but you don’t love that dress on her. However, do you have the courage to tell her? Nope! You’d rather swim in a lake full of ravenous crocodiles or debate global warming with President Trump before you have the courage to provide any constructive criticism to your MIL.

There’s bravery and then there’s stupidity. Tsk tsk.

5. “I’ve Been Told I’m Incredible At…”

It’s absolutely natural for women to strive to appear perfect in their mom-in-law’s eyes and one of the go-to methods to boost their image is to blow their own horn—or more specifically—claim other people think you’re just fab (modesty is a virtue after all). Hence, come the cringe-worthy lies like “everybody loves my biryani” or “so-and-so thinks I’m punctual to a fault”.

It’s sad, I know. But, hey, it works!

6. “Will Be Working Overtime Today”

Sometimes when women have a date night along with their hubby, they don’t really want anybody else at home in the know—this includes their MIL. But, alas, how to explain your absence?

“I’m working overtime!”

Not only has this teeny tiny white lie always worked, it also scores you bonus points for being an oh-so-hard worker.

7. “Yes, I’ve Been Consulting A Gynec”

It’s very common for the MILs to pester their daughter-in-laws to death about getting pregnant soon. Their excitement when you plan holidays and disappointed looks every time you deliver “good news” that isn’t the good news they’d like to hear is the Oxford dictionary’s definition for “emotional atyachar” (true story). Hence, to preserve your sanity you tell her you’ve been talking to a gynec, so she’s reassured her ‘dream project’ is in the works.

A girl’s gotta live after all.

8. “Hahahaha”

This is for every WhatsApp joke the MIL has sent you. Since those traitorous double blue ticks announce to her that you’ve read the message and are yet to reply, you need to think fast. Though comments like “great one” and “can’t wait to forward this to all my girls” get old after a while, a classic “hahahaha” on the other hand never does.

9. “We Missed You So Much!”

Your hubby and you may have had the time of your lives like gleeful kids without a curfew when your in-laws were traveling. But once they return you still tell your MIL how much you missed her, cause hello! Perfect DIL, remember?

10. “He’s All Yours”

Obviously NOT! But if that’s what makes her happy, then what’s the harm in that? Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

11. “I Woke Up At 7 am”

ROFL.

No further comment.

See, perfectly harmless lies! With time and communication, you and your MIL eventually do reach an understanding… somewhat. But we do love her and that ain’t no lie.

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Emaan is a voracious and rather indiscriminate reader. She is also a writer, history buff, insomniac, amateur doodle artist, terrible poet and a self-professed philosopher (but only after 3 am). Currently, she is pursuing a degree in medicine.