Why Giving Your Relationship A Second Chance Won’t Change Anything

Written by Anjala Farahath  • 

Everything happens for a reason, doesn’t it? If you chanced upon a charming person who you instantly clicked with and then spent a considerable amount of time falling in love with them, it happened for a reason. But, on the other hand, if you find yourself parting ways with the same person you once loved, it’s not the end of the world. That too happens for a reason.

So, what happens when a beautiful relationship reaches a dead end? This article is dedicated to addressing the elephant in the room — when a relationship fails do we really need to give it a second chance? There are several reasons why a failed relationship is likely to be irreconcilable. While we may be unable to list all the reasons, there are a few things that will set your relationship back even if you decide to bless it with a second chance. A second chance will not change anything. Here’s why-

1. Breakups Happen For A Reason

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When there’s fallout in a relationship, there are several reasons to it. Just like how we fall in love with them, we also fall out of love because of certain reasons. It could be the infamous problem of not giving each other enough space, or it could be the issue of an ideological gap, or it could be as asinine as leaving the wet towel on the bed. Often, breakups are a result of a series of misunderstandings and bottled up emotions. But, these misunderstandings go a long way. When you give the relationship a second chance, the onus is on both the partners to look past these issues that made them fall out of love. Even if the cause of the breakup is solved, there will always be the bitterness of changing oneself for the other.

2. You Will Have To Wipe The Slate Clean

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Let’s say you have decided to give it another shot, and you want to work it out with your partner. Now, the real problem is that you have to start on a clean slate. You have to create a new set of rules, a new spark, a new meaning to your love story. But, all of this seems like it’s rehearsed. Because you are fighting so hard to make it work that it seems mechanical and not emotional. You tend to be extremely careful, so much that you calculate your words so as to not utter anything that could hurt the other. You start thinking twice before doing anything, and in this process, you tend to pick more fights and make more blunders. The things that have been said and done cannot be undone, and this becomes problematic when trying to fix a relationship. Ergo, leading to further cracks in the already cracked vase.

3. The Expectations Will Grow And Disappointments Will Follow

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We are conditioned to think that second chances are an obligation that we should pursue. “If things go well the second time, maybe it’s worth the try” is what we think. But, the keyword here is “IF”. In a bid to fix the faults and to win the other person, we tend to go overboard and do things which we haven’t done before. Maybe, we start expressing more, we start making an effort to build a strong foundation, but while doing so, we also expect the other person to reciprocate or go the extra mile for us. This leads to expectations. We start expecting our partners to do everything a little extra — extra talking, extra affection, extra understanding, etc. But, this ultimately leads to disappointments and makes things worse. In the whole process of expecting, we put the burden on the other person to make bigger sacrifices or to become more subservient. Well, that’s definitely not going to work in the long-term.

4. You Will Hope For Things To Be The Same Again

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Picture this: You have finally bought yourself a beautiful glass vase that you’ve coveted for the longest time. Due to a mishap, the vase falls to the ground and breaks. Now, you can fix it with cello-tape, glue, or even solder it. But there will always be cracked marks on the vase. Just like that, a broken relationship will always have fault lines that can never be erased. No matter how much time has passed, whenever you look at the vase, it will remind you of the mishap that occurred. Similarly, no matter how many vows you take to start afresh, you will always be bogged down by what has transpired in the past. The vase will never be the same again. Love itself changes each day and by putting yourself in an arrangement like this will find you in the middle of nowhere. The old scars will only be dominated by new ones.

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Forgiveness is good, but it isn’t easy. It comes at a price. Falling out love of can be as painful as falling in love, but in a broken relationship, there are always the scars that refuse to fade. The chance of repair is next to impossible. We don’t mean to don a philosopher’s hat to bug you with life advice, but what we wouldn’t stop ourselves from telling you is this: Not everyone we meet stays with us for the rest of our lives. Some remain with us till our last breath and some are just like passing showers who teach us an important lesson or lead us to our next stop in the journey of life. Look at it this way, we are all in a boat that goes from one end of the world to the other. Some of us might make great connections on this boat, but these connections might want to go to a different destination, so they hop off when they wish to. But, since your destination is someplace else, you continue to sail.

Do you think it’s a good idea to give your relationship another chance? Let us know in the comments below.

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