Going For An Arranged Marriage Here Are The Questions To Ask On The First Meeting
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If arranged marriage is in the works for you, you must probably be gearing up for the dreaded first meeting with your potential significant other. The first thing you must do is inform your parents about your basic requirements and ensure they show you pictures of the person and do a thorough background check on both the guy as well as his family. As they always say, don’t judge a book by its cover and the same can be said about the person you are set to get married to. Like with any marriage you can’t decide if you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with someone just by looking at his pictures or going through his biography or by solely trusting your parents’ choice. If you’re clueless as to how to proceed further, here are a couple of questions you should ask and why they are important:
1. Where Do You See Yourself In 5 Years?
Yes, we know this question sounds like we pulled it straight out of a job interview, but this is a fundamental question. Asking your potential significant other this question will help you determine both their professional and personal goals. This way you can align them with your own and decide if they’re compatible with yours. Ask him what his future goals are. Whether he wants to climb up the corporate ladder or whether he wants to study further. Does he plan to invest in a home or would he like to have kids? These questions are absolutely crucial and should not be avoided at any cost.
2. Would You Like To Settle Abroad Or Move To Another City?
Ask your potential partner is they see themselves settling abroad or if they would like to continue in their home country. If you see yourself settling abroad and would like your partner to accompany you, this could be a deal-breaker. Even if your partner decides to move to another city within the same country, ask them if they would be willing to compromise for your career and ask yourself if you’re okay with shifting base and applying for jobs in a new city. Take some time to think about how moving to another country or city would impact your own personal and professional life.
3. Are You Close To Your Parents?
This is an important question to ask if you want to understand the family dynamics this person shares with his parents. If you are the kind of person who prefers privacy and would rather live in a nuclear family setup with your partner than in a joint family, you should let your partner know in advance to avoid disagreements later. If you would be living in with your in-laws, ask your partner what expectations they would have from you. Ask him how the responsibilities will be shared and if he will also be helping out with household chores.
4. Are You Bringing Any Emotional Baggage Into This Marriage?
Break-ups are rough on anybody. It’s understandable for someone to take some time to get over their ex, but it wouldn’t be fair to you if your partner is not over his ex and rushes into marriage with you. Once the person is more comfortable in your company, you can politely slide in an inquiry about this. Obviously, blurting it out in front of his or your family wouldn’t be a smart idea and would most likely make him extremely uncomfortable. Wait for more of a quiet time or wait until you are alone and then ask him.
5. Do You Genuinely Want To Get Married Or Are You Being Pressured?
Despite living in the 21st century, there are cases of people being pressured to get married as per their parents’ wishes. The first time you meet the person is when you should ask them this question. Especially if you sense that they’re a little hesitant, you could let them know that you will handle the situation if they are not willing to take the marriage proposal forward.
6. Is There Anything You Will Not Compromise On?
Lastly, find out if there are any areas that your partner will not compromise on. This answer will tell you a great deal about where his principles and values lie. Whether its loyalty or honesty, the answer will give you proper knowledge about the ground rules for the near future and save you from future arguments and disagreements.
All of these questions will help you decide whether you want to proceed further with your potential significant other. Of course, this is not a definitive list, and you can change it in accordance with your own personal beliefs and views. Tell us what you think of this list in the comments below. Mention if there are any questions you would like to add on.
