4 Tips For Healthy Relationship With Parents
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You know it’s a given that you love your parents and they probably love you more than they love each other. We also know that as we grow older, maintaining a healthy relationship with them becomes a challenge. It’s more difficult a challenge than when you had to deal with them in your teenage.
The thing is, that as you grow up to be an adult, even your parents are aging and there are a number of changes that you both go through — their retirement, your career taking its shape, their increasing health concerns, and the most important thing, the expectations of you settling down in future with another human. As you change, so should your relationship with your parents.
You need to forge a new relationship with them, as adults, instead of the usual “parent” and “child” dichotomy that existed till then. You don’t have to change the way you love and care for them but you need to build a stronger bond. This renewed bond should be based on a mutual understanding that this will result in a fonder relationship which is better than the bond you had with them during your childhood.
Here are some ways of establishing a mature relationship and enhancing your bond with the two constants of your life — your parents. Let’s read together.
1. Take Them As Adults And Not As Your Parents
Do your parents still treat you like a kid? Even when you’re at the age where you yourself are capable of procreating? Haha! We feel you. We’re sure they treat you like their little prince or princess where they don’t want to involve you in matters relating to house finances. They just want to believe that you’re too young for it while you clearly have a good bank balance of your own and also know how the stock markets work.
In such cases, it’s your responsibility to help them realize that you are all grown up now. And how do you do that? You start treating them like they are your fellow adults. While you’re talking to them, talk in a way that you’d talk to another adult friend of yours. That’s when you can communicate your point of views to them. And with you explaining about the issue in this manner, your parents are bound to think in their head — “Humara bacha bada hogaya.”
2. Make Use Of Humor When You Talk To Them
Laughter can be nothing less than a lifesaver when it comes to having awkward conversations with anybody, and with parents, it surely works for the best. Discuss issues with a pinch of humor. If your parents and you need to deal with a crotchety person in the family, use some humor and you’ll see you both will bond over those shared light moments. Share jokes over coffee, movies, politics, and life in general. If you both are laughing together, you’re definitely heading the right way.
3. Be Open With Your Parents; Tell Them Things That Bother You
You might get frustrated over the fact that your parents don’t share their worries with you. But first ask yourself, are you sharing yours with them? Even if these are matters relating to them. For instance, you’re the only child to your parents and both of them constantly call you ten times in a day just to know what you’re up to. If you’re not okay with it, don’t seethe silently. Let them know. They have the right to know how they can keep you happy, now that you’re a grownup.
Also, you need to make it a point to talk to them, tell them about how your day went, how your world is right now. They’d be the happiest to listen to your progress in life. And in return, you must listen to them when they have something to tell you. You must never forget that they’ve witnessed the world for longer than you have.
4. Don’t Have Pre-Defined Conversations With Them
We know as much as we want our parents to treat us like adults, we simply cannot let go of playing the role of the “child” they want us to be. I mean the whole world wants us to be responsible and adult-like, but back home, we can still expect our mothers to feed us food and we can definitely fall asleep with our head on their lap. What about conversations? We know parents are family and we mostly limit our conversations with them around family only. But, since you’re all adults now, why don’t you sit and talk about anything and everything with them? You sit for hours in a coffee shop with a friend you’ve hardly known for a year and have deep conversations, right? Do it with your parents. You’ll notice the change in your relationship with them instantly.
Of course, there will be a zillion things that can never change. For example, your mother’s interests in what you’ve stocked inside your wardrobe without her knowledge. Your dad trying to give you lessons about how to keep your car and your room tidy. The key to having a healthy relationship with your parents is to love the best parts of them. We really hope that after reading this article you’ll try to bring a positive change in the bond you share with your parents.Here’s wishing that all the parents and the children out there have a beautiful bond with each other.
