10 Most Hilarious Comments I’ve Heard Being A Woman In India
chaitra krishnanMA (Journalism & Mass Communication) Experience: 5 yearsChaitra has a triple main bachelor’s degree in journalism, communicative English, and economics from St. Aloysius College, Mangalore, and a master’s degree in journalism and mass communication from St... more
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Being a woman is difficult. You have to bleed every month, you’re expected to take care of the household, get pregnant for about 10 months and deliver the babies of the family. Apart from this, women are constantly in fear everywhere in the world and are often objectified by the society (even an educated one). And if she’s a strong, independent woman who is able to handle work like a bawse, she’ll still have to deal with the issues related to wage gap. That being said, things become 50 times worse when it comes to women in India. If you are a woman who is born and brought up in India, you can relate to some of these hilarious comments. They are funny and painful at the same time so keep your tissues ready because the tears are gonna be real.
1. Apply Fairness Cream; Otherwise You’ll Look “Dull” At The Wedding
Racism, mom/ aunt/ bhabi! It’s plain racism. If I’m dusky, let me be. And if I want to play in the sun, let me be! Most people in India are unaware of sunscreen lotions and they believe that fairness creams are the way to go. Sadly, they have no idea how dangerous most of these creams are and how well they are loaded with harmful chemicals. If you are anything less than “fair”, you’d be hearing comments like these from your childhood.
2. But That’s Your Brother! He’s A Boy
How is it that your brother gets to go out and play while you’re expected to sit at home doing the “ghar-ghar” game with your dolls? What if you want to play football or cricket? Well, you’ll probably be mocked at by most parents or won’t even be allowed to go out and play. Gender discrimination starts right from your home and you can sometimes see its reflections when it comes to your studies, love life, and marriage. You hardly have any say while your male sibling’s opinions are considered valuable.
3. If You Become A Lawyer Nobody Will Marry You
“If the eligible men’s families hear that you argue for a living, they wouldn’t want a bahu like you”. Well, why would you ever want to marry into a family like that anyway? Right?
4. You are “Impure” When You Menstruate
If a woman is impure when she’s menstruating, every human being must be impure. We grew up for about 10 months in that period blood and without it, we wouldn’t have been alive. In fact, I think we should consider the period blood holy since its absence can lead to our extinction. Right, morality uncles?
5. If You Don’t Learn Cooking, You Struggle After Your Wedding
Well, this is true because everyone needs to know how to cook in order to survive. But if you’re a working woman who can pay someone to cook for you and your family, that’s cool as well. Cooking is for survival and in no way is a yardstick to measure the eligibility of a wife or a daughter in law.
6. I Know You Don’t Feel Like, But I Want To
Marital rape is not a myth in India. Women in many families don’t even have the right to their own body and are forced to get it on just because their husbands want to. And while some women suffer in silence, some force themselves to believe that it’s their “duty” to make their husbands happy. Well, this is just wrong and people who force their partners should be punished.
7. You Look So Fat, You Should Diet/ You Look Malnourished, You Should Eat Properly!
We all have heard this, haven’t we? This is true especially if you live outside your town/ city and you visit home once in a few months. Everyone including your landlady will have a say in the way you look and they’ll body shame you without a second thought. The next time someone says something like that, you should probably repeat the same question to him/ her. Let’s see how they answer it.
8. That Lipstick Is Too Dark
Yes. My lipstick is Cherry Red, so what? It’s hard to explain why this comment is so annoying and funny. But you, know it, right?
9. Pssssssss……….Your Bra Strap Is Showing
Pssss……thanks but I like to show it off, it’s a really expensive bra. Isn’t it understood that women have breasts and they wear bras for support? So what if the strap is showing? It’s just a piece of cloth and that’s it.
10. It’s Okay If He/ She Hits You, Unka Haq Hein
It’s NOT OKAY if anyone hits you; let’s just make that clear first (Don’t listen to Sandeep Reddy Vanga). Nobody has the right to hit you no matter what you said or did, be it your partner, boss, or even your teacher at school. Those days are gone when your teacher would repeatedly hit you with a cane because now, hitting kids is a punishable offense even if it’s at school. Physical punishments are never successful and if you’re a grown-up, you should never ever take that shit from anyone. Kisi ka haq nahi hai!
Well, this article may not have exactly made you laugh, but yes, you might have smiled nervously or frowned a lot. Let’s just hope that there comes a day when this article isn’t relevant to us anymore and that day is soon. So, take care of yourself, you wonderful women out there, won’t you? Because every time a woman stands up for herself, she’s standing up for all women in this world and you should remember that. Tell us the most hilarious comment you’ve heard being a woman in India, in the comments section below.
