How Dancing Changed The Way I See My Body

One day, I came back from work to find my mom sitting in front of the TV. As it was, I never got any time to spend with her so I decided to join her. “What are you watching?” I asked as I proceeded to plop down on the sofa next to her. “This new dance reality show,” she answered without looking at me. I looked at the TV and half an hour passed by in a jiffy. I was transfixed by the moves of the contestants in that show, wondering if it was even possible for the human body to move like that. Well, certainly not my human body.

At 5 feet 5 inches, I wasn’t short by the Indian standards, but then, I wasn’t tall either. And, the little bits of jiggly fat that hung around my waist made me look even shorter. With every kilo that I gained, my self-esteem took another hit. I wanted to go back to my previous lean and mean self, but at this point, it seemed impossible. You see, I didn’t want to go to a gym for precisely two reasons, one, I was afraid of how I would look — jumping, huffing and puffing in the gym. Second, going to the gym meant sticking to a boring routine and that was a no-no for me. So, there I was, every Sunday, gingerly toying with the weighing scale, silently praying for a miracle.

How I Became A Reluctant Dancer

This routine would have continued had my friend not intervened in time. Sandhya and I were bachpan ke dost, if anyone had any clue what was going on in my life it was her. She was a witness to my weight-loss journey and knew how I struggled with it. One fine day, when she’d come over to my place, we were just sitting and chatting when she told me that she had joined a dance studio near her place. “Why don’t you join it as well? We can even be in the same batch!” she exclaimed. “Me? And dance? Have you seen me?” I retorted in my usual way. “Arre baba! Try it for a week, if you don’t like it then don’t join,” she cajoled. I agreed to go to the trial class, determined to quit as soon as possible.

The day of the class came, and I wasn’t really feeling it. This was beyond my comfort zone and I hated every bit of it. I felt extremely self-conscious and it showed on my face. So much so that when I entered the class, the trainer herself came forward to make me comfortable. The class began and soon, my fears were lost in the medley of those foot-tapping dance numbers. It helped that I had taken the spot at the back of the room so that I wouldn’t be seen by anyone. Soon enough I began to notice a change. I started to look forward to these classes. I enjoyed standing at the back, following those steps, listening to the instructor cheering us on. For that one hour, I’d just danced my heart out. With every step I took, I felt my heart becoming lighter. I had begun to really enjoy dancing.

Dance Made Me Love My Body

I had begun to enjoy those classes so much that I didn’t even think twice before agreeing to participate in the concert that our instructor had planned to stage for our final performance. Every day, after work, I would come home and lock myself in my room and practice. I would watch my body flow and sway to the rhythm of the music in the mirror. It was the same body which was a source of embarrassment (once upon a time), but now it fills me with a sense of achievement. I never realized that my body was beautiful too, with all its curves and rolls.

The sense of liberation also reflected in the way I danced, as my instructor had noticed too. It looked as though a flower had just blossomed, she had said, watching me dance one day.

Dancing had made me realize the strength and beauty of my own body with every step, every move. I had read that people who participated in marathons or triathlons would train very hard for them. Their training would often inculcate in them a deep sense of respect for their bodies. Dancing did the same for me. It taught me to respect the limits of my body, and it also encouraged me to celebrate its strengths.

The way I would move my hips, the way I could easily bend, I loved watching myself do all of it. It made me feel sensuous and powerful at the same time. Needless to say, I rocked at the concert. For the first time, my body was responsible for me winning laurels and was not the cause of an embarrassment.

Before I had discovered dancing, I had led a dull life where I was just passing my days. Dancing gave me that zing that was missing from my life for a long time. Beyond work, beyond family, beyond friends, dancing became something only meant for me. It helped me redeem my life.

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