How Mandira Bedi Chooses To Grieve Her Late Husband Should Be Nobody’s Business
niharika nayakBA (Media & Communication) Experience: 4 yearsNiharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... more
Image: mandirabedi / Instagram
Many were stunned to find out about the untimely death of filmmaker Raj Kaushal on the 30th of June. The My Brother Nikhil director was only 49 and passed away due to a cardiac arrest. He is survived by his wife, actress Mandira Bedi and his two kids, son Veer and daughter Tara. Despite the tragic occurrence, when images of the funeral were shared on social media platforms, trolls chose to focus on Mandira’s attire and the fact that she was carrying her husband’s funeral bier. Many trolls criticized Mandira for wearing jeans and a white t-shirt and participating in the funeral. Some went so far as to say that the whole thing was a publicity stunt. So to all those two-bit trolls, we say, “Why does it bother you so much when a woman decides to live her life on her own terms?”:
Everyone Deserves To Grieve In Their Own Way
Losing a life partner is hard enough, but having to deal with criticism for your attire or manner of grieving is even worse. Many of the trolls who left rude comments on Mandira’s picture chose to focus on her attire rather than passing their condolences. Others decided to question why she carried her husband’s funeral bier and took part in his last rights as, according to them, it is against Hindu customs. What these thick-headed trolls fail to understand is that we are living in 2021 and not 1923. So many of these so-called “traditions and customs” are highly patriarchal and are all about dictating the way a woman lives her life. We need to start acknowledging the flaws that exist in every religion and try to make the world an equal place regardless of caste, creed, or gender.
Carrying the last rites of her husband was her decision to make. Nobody else has the right to interfere in this decision and tell her what to do. Everyone has their own way of grieving loss. For some, it is seeking support through therapy; others might end up drowning their sorrow and focussing on work to distract themselves. In any case, it is highly unfair to judge how an individual copes with loss. As long as that person is not hurting anybody or themselves, it’s best to leave them to their own devices and offer support when it’s needed. We cannot imagine what it is like to lose a loved one, and our hearts go out to Mandira.
Let’s be honest, if you restrict someone from performing the last rites for anybody in their family simply based on gender, what kind of traditions are you promoting? Isn’t the fact that we live in 2021 enough not to follow regressive rules and practices that were probably written hundreds of years ago? Moreso, how is it okay to defend your religion by mocking someone’s attire during one of the most gut-wrenching moments of their life?
A Pillar Of Strength
Despite many trolls attacking Mandira, many of her fans too came out to support her and her decision. Many women lauded her for doing what she saw fit, and others said that the media should respect her privacy and leave her and her kids alone. Mandira and Raj first met in 1996 after he spotted her at an audition while working as a chief assistant. Although the pair were opposites, they soon started hanging out and eventually got into a steady relationship. During an interview, Raj even admitted that he knew she was the one after just three dates! After introducing each other to their parents and dating for some time, the pair tied the knot in 1999. They had their first child, Vir, in 2011, and in 2020, they decided to expand their family by adopting a four-year-old girl. The pair seemed to lead a really enriching life, and Mandira always had lovely things to say about her progressive and supportive husband, Raj.
Many were upset at the fact that images from the funeral service were published online, and media houses were criticized for posting them. While we understand that celebrities often end up not having much privacy, there are certain moments where they should clearly be left alone. Posting the pictures on news pages and other paparazzi accounts will only invite hate and unnecessary comments from trolls who clearly have nothing better to do with their lives. Although the 49-year-old actress was in tears after losing her husband, she held her ground firmly. Plenty of friends and loved ones from the industry showed up to extend their support. Actress Mouni Roy was one of the many in attendance and shared a picture of the prayer meet on her Instagram account.
In the end, it’s important to note that religion is personal and not something that you should use as an excuse to bully, criticize or harass others with. If you don’t believe women deserve to perform the last rites of their relatives, then that’s your personal problem, and we hope you grow past this old-fashioned mentality. Do let us know all of your thoughts on this article below!
