6 Ways To Deal With A Husband Who’s A Mama’s Boy
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You got married to him because of his individuality, his sensibility, and of course, his love for you. Now that you’re married to him, you’ve begun to realize that he’s not that independent man you had assumed him to be. His decisions, his everyday chores, the start of his day and its end —they all end with one word “mama”.
Now, loving your mother is no sin. In fact, it’s a testimony to the fact that he’s been brought up with values! But, if your husband is obsessed with his mother, and looks towards her for everything in his life, that sure is a red flag.
So, we aren’t going to blame you if you feel frustrated living with a husband who acts like he’s 5, and seeks his mother’s opinions in all his life matters, despite you being there to help him. We strongly feel that he must know to balance his relationship with his mother and his wife! We suggest that if your husband behaves in the manner that we just described, you should not encourage this behavior. And clearly, as this is a matter related to your husband and your MIL, you need to take extra care so that you don’t hurt them in the process (after all, you do love them ). So, here are a few tips from us to help you out in this regard.
1. Learn To Put An End To His Habit Of Consulting His Mom For Everything
If he has the habit of dialing his mom’s number for every decision he makes in his life, even if it’s something like asking permission to take you (the wife) out on a weekend getaway, it’s a major red flag. Because if he continues to do this, he’s never going to pay heed to your opinions and advice. We suggest that you have a calm conversation with him because you don’t want him to perceive it as your insecurity to closeness with his mom. Try encouraging him to trust himself to decide things. Tell him that you trust and respect him for it.
2. Shield Your Personal Matters
If you find your husband discussing your personal matters, the problems you have with him, with his mom — stop him! We’re not saying MILs are monstrous, but if there’s something you don’t want them to know, then make sure it remains that way. Just be frank about it, and ask your husband to respect your wishes.
3. Don’t Accept Any Accusations Based On His Mom’s Opinions
If you’re living in the same house as your in-laws, there can be days when your husband is out of town, and at that time you might end up having arguments with your MIL over certain matters. Once he’s back, you may expect him to see both sides of the coin. But he obviously listens to his mom’s side of the story and makes his conclusion based on that. This is wrong! Make sure he pays heed to you as well.
4. Teach Him About The Concept Of SPACE
If your husband is okay with his mom’s intervention in making decisions for your future as a couple, but you have a problem with it, then please be vocal about it. Yes, she is like a mother to you as well, and considering that she’s more experienced in handling life and marriage than you, it might be a good idea to listen to her. But if she insists that you implement that advise, and imposes it on you then just say that you don’t agree!
Make your husband understand that there needs to be a space between suggesting and asking to do it. Give him simple clues, so that you can indirectly convey your discomfort without being blunt with him. Clever husbands always get the cues, trust us!
5. Put In Efforts And Contribute To Household Decisions
You definitely are the latest addition to the family, so, the entire house and its whole working mechanism are new to you. And it’s natural for you to doubt that if you start contributing to making decisions for the house, it might disturb the family’s dynamics. But hey, you married to be a part of this family, right? So, at least, voice your opinions, this will make your mama’s boy a.k.a your husband, notice your managerial skills which he thought only his mom possessed.
6. Stress On Being With Both Your Parents Equally
It can be that you feel that your husband cares about only his mother. And you both seldom worry or talk about your parents. Then, we suggest you plan more family gatherings and vacations that involve both sets of parents. This way, your husband gets to interact with another mother which can broaden his perspective. It might teach him to balance the parent world together as a couple.
We hope these tips will help you get out of the dilemma you’re facing with a husband who only chants his mother’s name. We just want you to remind you that mothers are great influencers, so whatever you do to tackle this situation, do it with patience and make sure you do not hurt anyone in the process.
