No offense, but like products, relationships too come with a shelf life. It requires a lot of nurturing to keep the spark alive. When I say this, one word I am reminded of is ‘maintenance.’ Being in a relationship is a lot like growing a plant. If you don’t give it the required nourishment in terms of water and sunshine, it withers away. Love, care, adjustments and more are needed to ensure it doesn’t die. This is more critical if it’s marriage as there’s bound to be a lot of friction on various issues. A wise way to keep a marriage intact is to minimize complications. So, here I am, with a little bit of advice on how to make your relationship divorce-proof. Or rather, how to protect yourself from a potential break-up. By the end of this article, I don’t guarantee to make it 100% conflict-free, but I can certainly help you with tips that can bring down the risk. Ready, then? Alright, let me tell you how to create an everlasting bond between the two of you.
1. Me Time – Give Each Other Space
It’s a known fact that married couples need to spend more time together to get to know each other and understand each other’s weaknesses and strengths. But that doesn’t mean you stay glued to each other all the time. At times, you have to do things alone to get things in perspective. I have often emphasized this point enough in my earlier articles that you must never let your life revolve around your partner, no matter what. Yes, it’s good to do things together. But, like I said, it doesn’t harm to take some time off and give each other that much-needed space.
2. Stand By Him
Your partner might have friends and relatives aplenty. He will have a BFF too. But, you have to be the first person he can turn to in a crisis. The people in his life may be reliable, but he wants to count on you to be that cushion. Life is all about ups and downs. When you have been there with him during his best moments, be willing to share his burdens too. He will love you for it. Be a pillar of support to him at all times, so he knows you are the one he can trust, no matter what. This also strengthens your bonding.
3. Cater To His Needs
Understanding each other’s needs is vital to make a relationship work. The two of you must be close enough to feel each other’s pulse even without communicating the same. This will happen when you share everything with your partner. Be it physical or emotional needs, you should be the one to fulfill them. That’s what takes you the distance. Those who don’t get their needs satisfied will seek it elsewhere, and I don’t have to give you examples here. There are many instances like that. If you are not able to gauge your partner’s expectations, ASK. Believe me, it makes your life a lot easier. It also sends out a clear message to him that you care for him and his needs.
4. Communication Is The Key
When a relationship is in its nascent stage (the honeymoon period), your phones will be flooded with cute text messages, romantic e-cards, emoticons, and what not! Eventually, as your relationship gets older, the spark dies, and so does your enthusiasm to communicate. You will hardly receive a call or message from each other. But remember, it’s critical to keep the conversation going, even if it means asking silly things like “Did you have lunch?” or “How’s your day going?” This will ensure there is no misunderstanding between the two of you. Silence is not golden anymore. Instead, it’s a threat to your relationship. So, TALK, you won’t lose anything.
5. Sort Out Issues Across The Table
As I mentioned in the previous point, several couples go incommunicado after a fight. This could be for two reasons:
(i) Ego: You don’t want to admit it’s your fault. And you don’t want to be the first one to seek reconciliation.
(ii) Fear of confrontation: You detest name calling and want to avoid a bitter fight. You wait for the moment to pass so that you can be normal again. That’s an escapist’s way, BTW!
Fair enough, but these strategies may not work all the time. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Better to get it over with now than letting it build into an ugly conflict.
6. Show Gratitude
Human beings have a tendency to complain about what is lacking in their life instead of feeling thankful for what they already have. The same holds good for relationships too. You should stop cribbing about what your partner didn’t do for you. Instead, tell him how nice it felt when he did something to make you feel special. Be grateful – it helps and takes you a long way.
7. Periodic Introspection
When you buy a vehicle, you are given an AMC (Annual Maintenance Contract). This involves periodic checks of your vehicle to ensure it’s in good shape throughout the year. Apply this to your relationship as well. You don’t have to wait until the end of the year to see what’s gone wrong. From time to time, look back at things you could have done differently to avoid the situation. This will make sure you do not repeat those mistakes.
It’s easy to give up and throw it all away in an impulse. But, to build another relationship will take an eternity. And you can’t be sure that will work too. Haven’t you heard, “A known devil is better than an unknown one?” Take the cue and work on your existing relationship. No issue is too hard to resolve as there’s a solution for every problem.
Do you have any other tips on strengthening a marriage? Share them with us in the box below.