Every crime leaves its trails. Sometimes it is an object, and sometimes it is just an intangible thing that’s shouting out the truth that it has witnessed. A lie, for instance, speaks more truth than, probably, truth itself. Look at a liar and if you are aware of the way he behaves there’s just too much truth in his mannerisms and body language. Although that sounds paradoxical, it is not rocket science to be able to spot the body language of a liar. He instinctively gives it away and if you are wondering how that happens read on…
1. Look For Their Breathing Patterns
When you engage in a conversation with a person, and you notice subtle changes in their breathing, then there are chances that person is lying. When you lie, the body thinks it is in stress which is what activates the fight or flight mechanism. With the release of adrenaline, you start to sweat slightly, your pupils dilate, and your rate of respiration increases. So, when you see all this happening in the person you are talking to – he is lying. Always look into the eyes. Chances are the person doesn’t even make eye contact for fear of getting caught.
2. Look For Body Movements
The usual notion among people is that when you are tensed and nervous, you tend to move hither and thither. However true that is, when you see a person who is not budging from the position he is in, that’s a bigger warning of a lie than the fidgeting. In most a stressful situation, humans have a choice – to fight or to fly. When the liar has decided upon “fighting” he is preparing his body to face the stressful situation. He is preparing not just to face it but also to win it. This is why he has taken a firm posture to be able to endure any amount of impending stress. If you find this behavior in a person, you already are suspecting – yes, he is lying and very decidedly so.
3. Look If They Are Buying Time
Another best way to find out if a person is lying or not is to ask them several questions and, in fact, ask the same question in different ways. Look if they can answer in a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ If you find them using a lot of ‘well,’ ‘actually,’ and other such filters you know he is buying time to decide how to lie. Also, make sure you ask the person those questions he is not expecting you’d ask. This is because when the person anticipates what you are going to ask him, his answers are going to be quick because he already had the time to prepare for it. In such cases, this technique of observing whether they are buying time or not doesn’t apply accurately.
4. Look For The Kind Of Explanations They Give
When you shoot some questions at somebody, they choose to give a rather not-so-complicated elucidation because they are not sure of how to twist the truth. Plus, they keep it as simple as possible that they don’t have to remember all that they have said to maintain the concocted story. Also, they give you information that you hadn’t asked for. They do this more to convince themselves that they haven’t done anything wrong. “Why did you fail in the exam?” “Everybody failed, not just I.” If the kid weren’t guilty, he would have just said that the paper was difficult or he wasn’t prepared enough to fare well in the exam. He rather chose to give you information that you neither asked for nor was it justifying his act of failing in the exam.
5. Look Where Their Hands Are Going
People usually lie when they feel weak or vulnerable or rather when they want to cover up the weakness in them. Their lies keep them under the apprehension that things are in their control. However, their bodies aren’t in synchronization with their thoughts, and the body still leaks signs of vulnerability. This is why you find them immediately placing their hands on some part of their body that reveals the vulnerability they are facing. It is either on their nose, their ears or sometimes even on their throat – “I am lying, and I am trying to be casual about it,” is the thought process at that time.
Remember To Analyse In A More Subjective Way
Research says that you can’t pick one single behavior that accurately reflects whether a person is lying (1). This is exactly why deception detecting specialists first start with acquiring a baseline – how do they sound and behave when they speak casually where there is no necessity to lie or twist the truth. Once they get the hang of how they normally sound, it gets easier to detect a lie. So, if your boyfriend, in general, gives a lot of information that you haven’t asked for, don’t think he was lying all this while. That’s just how he usually is… or may be not ;-)
How do you detect lies? What are the cues you look for? Comment below and let me know.