I Had A Gay Friend – Here’s How I Was There For Her!
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Do you have a jigri dost in your life? The one that you would do anything for, and I mean literally, anything. You must have seen our very own Bollywood put out these grand odes to friendship such as Sholay, Rock On, Dil Chahta Hai, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, etc. If you have, you know what I am talking about.
Just like all these Bollywood movies and their grand stories of yaarana (friendship), I also had a Veeru in my life and this is the story of how I helped her get over her Basanti!
Jab We Met
I first met Megha in kindergarten, and I remember it like it happened yesterday. My parents were in transferable jobs, which meant a lot of moving. I had already lived in three different places before I even turned 5. However, when I turned 5, my mother decided that I needed more stability and shifted to Delhi permanently. Apparently, she wanted me to be a well-adjusted individual, (rolls eyes). I mean, she tried. So, there I was, in my pixie haircut, all decked up, eager to make friends in my new class, in my new school. I mentioned the haircut because its crucial to the story.
So, my mother dropped me to my class where I was introduced to my new classmates by the teacher. After the introduction, I was making my way to my assigned seat when I was approached by this girl. She had the perfect ponytail and the airs of a brat. “You are a girl, but your hair is like a boy’s. How would anyone know you are a girl?” she asked me. Eager to show that I was the boss in this situation I replied, “Simple, just look at my shoes. They are like a girl’s. Besides, I am wearing a skirt.” After this, I proceeded to my seat, smugly satisfied with the way I handled the situation. That girl was Megha, and she must have been sufficiently impressed with my answer because she and I became BFFs shortly after.
Tera Mera Yaarana
Megha and I were inseparable throughout our school life. Birthday parties, after-school plans, summer camps, home work, etc. all of these were with her. She was such an indispensable part of my life that my family would inquire about her first, at the dinner table, and then ask me about my life. However, as with all our school friends, I too, became distanced from her when college came knocking. Soon, daily phone calls became weekly and by the time my first year of graduation got over, we hadn’t spoken to each other in over two months. So, it was a surprise when I found her knocking my door one day, all teary-eyed. I invited her in and offered her a glass of water. “What happened? Is everything okay at home?” I asked guiltily, avoiding her gaze. She looked at me, “I just had a breakup”. I looked at her with surprise, “I did not know you were dating someone, who is he?”
She took a pause before she answered, “It’s not a he, it’s a she.”
I Became Her Wing-Woman
It took me a minute to digest this bit of information. This was my best friend, how was it that I had not known such a huge thing about her life. After a minute (or two, I guess), I asked her calmly what the issue was. Even though I had a million questions to ask (When did she know? Why didn’t she tell me?), we had a more pressing matter at hand. I asked her why the breakup happened in the first place. She told me that the girl she was dating was very possessive and kept tabs on her. They had fought about it a lot. Finally, things had reached a point that Megha couldn’t talk to anybody without her knowledge. “This was why I didn’t talk to you, she is extremely jealous of you too,” she told me in between her sobs.
A part of me wanted to seize this opportunity and absolve myself of the guilt I was feeling over being an absentee friend when my conscience kicked in. “No, it’s not your fault. I have not been a good friend, but dude you should have told me.” I consoled her. I hugged her saying, “You don’t have to be with such a person, it isn’t worth the pain. Let it be na! There’s plenty of fish left in the sea. Besides, you chose the smarter sex, so I am sure you do have options.” Finally, I had managed to get a little smile on her face. Little by little, she filled me in on all the details. And I’m glad that she felt comfortable to confide in me. I was just happy that I could be there for her.
It did not matter to me that Megha was gay, it was just like any other heartbreak. She needed me, and I was there for her. Even now, after knowing what she went through, her internal struggle, all I can think of is that it is a very human need – to be loved. It does not matter by whom, as long as you are respectful in that relationship. I just wish the world understood this too, so that Megha too, could enjoy all the privileges just like me and other so-called “normal” people. She hasn’t told her parents yet, but when she does. I will be right here by her side.
