Life after marriage takes too many turns, don’t you agree? Your life now is entwined with another. Through sorrow or joy, you’re there by and for each other. When you tell others that you’re getting married in a couple of months, there’s always this one question that everybody asks you — “Are you planning to stay with your in-laws?”
In a world where everybody loves being independent and love having their own spaces, people generally expect the answer for the above question to be “no.” Perhaps you may end up living with your in-laws considering various reasons. Maybe you and your partner have difficulties in handling the finances, so moving in with in-laws adds financial value. Or maybe one of the in-laws is really sick and they need special care, or it could simply be the culture that demands you to stay with your in-laws after marriage. Whatever the reason, living with in-laws sure does come with its own set of challenges. There will be adjustments, there will be a lack of privacy, and the level of your independence becomes questionable, as well.
Let us tell you this. There can be heaps of benefits too. For example, you end up saving a lot of money and also help each other in more than one ways. For instance, on days when you come home tired, the mother-in-law might have already cooked a scrumptious meal for you. Furthermore, you’ll be able to bond better with your in-laws than you would have if you were living separately.
So, we think that no matter how specific your situation may be, adjusting with your in-laws can be seamless, provided you put in the effort and be prepared sufficiently. Now, we present to you the four ways to master the art of living with your in-laws. Get reading and thank us later.
4. Set Boundaries
You need to talk to your spouse or your fiancé about how life can be after moving in together. Talk to him about what you expect from your post-marriage. Also, make him tell you about how his house functions. Once you’ve done this, you can set some boundaries. For example, if you love cooking without any interruptions, request your mother-in-law to handle the kitchen only on alternate days. Maybe tell your spouse that you’d like the house to yourselves at least one night in a week. By setting boundaries, we mean create guidelines that will help you feel comfortable and get along with your new folks easily.
3. Find Privacy Spots In Your Home
This one is for the newly-weds, who love to get all mushy and cute all the time. Finding privacy spots is the only way to keep intimacy alive when you’re living with your in-laws. We know that it can get quite tough to find privacy when living with your in-laws, but you’ll have to find a way. Suppose you guys live in a small apartment with them, keep the balcony area for yourself. And make sure that the entry to your bedroom is restricted (not prohibited). This way, you get your personal space for some alone-time and also, you can use the space to get cuddly with your man.
2. Learn To Not Get Involved In Family Arguments
Living with in-laws can spark a lot of memories and habits that you’ve had with your parents. Your spouse might at times feel trapped in certain behavioral patterns with his parents. So, if he ever argues or picks up a fight regarding the same with his parents, don’t get involved in it. Make sure you quietly leave the room and try focusing on taking deep breaths. Understand that it’s the problem between a child and his parents. So, let them ride on it together. Eventually, everybody will find their rhythm and figure out how to live harmoniously together!
1. Pick Your Own Battles
Of course, we asked you to stay out of arguments that involve your spouse. But it’s more important to avoid getting into arguments that involve you. And trust us, this is easier said than done. This doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to speak up. If you find your father-in-law entering your room unannounced, you have every right in asking him to knock before entering the next time. However, if somebody is making a fleeting comment, you might find it better to ignore it rather than picking up a fight. You should be focusing on repetitive comments and behaviors instead.
We understand that living with in-laws brings in all kinds of emotions and stress. And if the situations get too overwhelming then you should consider going and seeing a family counselor or therapist to keep you sane. Are you living with your in-laws? How is the journey with them going so far? Let us know in the comments section below.
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