4 Reasons Why Losing A Friend Hurts More Than Losing A Lover
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Losing your best friend can be infinitely more difficult than ending a romantic relationship. It’s often unforeseen and leaves you very much derailed in life. What’s more, it becomes difficult to handle the lonely aftermath that follows.
When it comes to handling a relationship’s breakup, there’s a blueprint that’s ready for us — an all-girls trip, putting on that fancy dress, drinking those vodka shots and of course, throwing the best pajama parties with your girls. Our best friends become our saviors in times of heartbreak.
There has always been that one BFF of yours with whom you’ve shared the screenshots of your private conversations with your boyfriend and filled her in with personal details (wink, wink). You have always texted her every mundane thought of yours. In fact, she’s known you inside out! She knows your angelic side as well as your evil tantrums – well, let’s just say she knows you more than you know yourself!
But, what happens when the friendship snaps? We no more have access to all the gobbets of wisdom that was imparted on us periodically (whenever we behaved baboonish). It certainly leaves you with a broken heart. And if you still think that it’s okay to lose a friend, here’s what we have to let you know just why it will hurt – much, much more than losing even a lover.
1. Because Nobody Else Will Get Your Jokes
The strong bond between your BFF and you covers all the realms — the emotional and the intellectual. There might have been several instances where only the two of you would have cracked up in the most serious situations. The jokes you two crack can only be understood and laughed at by you guys alone. With this special bond comes this code language of your friendship that no other can decode. And when you lose that friend, it will seem like your fun-humorous part is gone too. After all, no one else can interpret your jokes like how your BFF did. There will be no more inside jokes and no more eye contact when the person you mutually hate walks into the room.
2. It Gets Harder To Make New Friends As We Get Old
Have you ever wondered how we ended up making new friends so quickly back in high school or during our college days? It was the proximity! Sitting beside a person in our language classes or sharing a hostel room with someone made them our friends instantly. And now, if you’re a working professional, it’s almost impossible to free yourself from your daily routine and get involved in making social connections. In fact, we might slowly get friendly only with one thing — solitude! Yes, it’s scary.
3. The After Effects Are Much More Painful
If you’re in a relationship, thanks to the umpteen kahaanis or gyaan of breakups that you’ve managed to research on, you’ll know what the signs of a bad partner are. And just what a fading relationship looks like. But, with a friendship that is heading to a dead end, it’s impossible to make note of or understand the signs. And when it happens, you feel like the world around you has collapsed or someone has knocked your heart out (or maybe both). You sit there brooding about what must have gone wrong in your decade-long friendship with your BFF. And there’s not a soul left to help you get over it.
4. You Were BFFs For A Reason
You end up falling for a guy because of some obvious reasons, right? It is usually the intensity of attraction and chemistry that you share with him. Whereas, with a friend, it becomes harder to explain as to why you are BFFs. What we mean here is that the list goes on and on and therefore, cannot be explained. There could be an array of common interests between the two of you (sipping that wine with some cheese, discussing why your ex-boyfriend didn’t deserve you, sibling problems, or just because you guys fuel each other’s craziness). All of which you both cannot imagine doing with any other friend. And when this friend is gone, you find yourself stranded. You simply cannot reminiscence what you love alone!
But, Understand This First:
We all live a fickle life in a fickle world. Just like how we keep meeting new people in our lives, we are bound to lose certain old ties in the process. The reasons could vary — maybe your BFF got engaged, or moved to another city, or let’s just say s/he was after all playing human and betrayed you by spilling your secrets.
Just like romances, friendships can dwindle too. But, don’t just sit and mourn your usual way through it (with that bucket of ice cream). If your BFF matters to you and you would love to fix things up, then (irrespective of whose fault it is) just take the first step and make that call to them. You could still wait for love to happen in your life if things have gone wrong before, but when it comes to friends… you will never be able to find an exact replacement. So, hug it out with your BFF and mend your friendship. If it isn’t for both of you, at least your friendship deserves it!
