Love Marriages Are Not As Romantic As You Think. 7 People Share Their Struggles Of Marrying Their Lover

Written by Chaitra Krishnan, MA (Journalism & Mass Communication)  • 

Indian movies glorify love marriages and therefore, it make as one of the most celebrated genres of the industry. The fact that a movie like Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, the 23-year-old romantic overdose is still on the big screen and alive in every Bollywood lover’s heart proves how much the audience loves love stories. However, most of these movies end when the love birds get married to each other and we don’t really get to know about their struggles later on. Because there are indeed as many struggles in love marriages as there are in arranged marriages. They might be different, but the troubles are for real and they are inevitable.

Love marriage is definitely a wonderful experience since you fall in love and choose to live with someone. Today, more and more youngsters want to find their life partners on their own rather than blindly tie the knot with someone they’ve barely met. But since you’ve taken the decision all by yourself, you will have to handle the troubles just the same way. We thought it might be interesting to hear from people who have married their lover about the struggles they face in their marriage. Read on to know more.

1. “He’s A Totally Different Person After Marriage”

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“My boyfriend became a totally different person after we got married. Living with him under the same roof made me discover many of his habits that I never got to know when we were dating. Somehow he stopped prioritizing me like before because now he knows that our relationship is secure. I do miss the romantic time we spent with each other every now and then. Nonetheless, I’m really happy with him and I guess this is how people evolve in a relationship.”

2. “His Parents Don’t Like Me”

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“My in-laws never really liked me because they wanted a bahu who would stay at home and take care of the house. With the career-oriented life that I’m leading, it often becomes difficult to give more time and attention to the family. Unlike my own parents, my in-laws are not very understanding in this matter. This leaves me no choice other than leading a juggler’s life. Even then, I always get this feeling that they don’t like me and they would have preferred someone else as their daughter-in-law.”

3. “I Can’t Share My Problems With My Family Anymore”

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“Since marrying my boyfriend was my decision and my parents were not very happy about it, I cannot share my problems with my mother or father anymore. I lost them as my confidants because whenever I hint that I’m going through a tough time, they never fail to remind me that it was my choice. This always makes me feel bad but I know that I wouldn’t be happier with any other man.”

4. “Our Relatives Keep Taunting Us”

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“My parents and in-laws were okay with our marriage but our relatives always kept taunting us for getting into a marriage that was unconventional according to them. It becomes really awkward to run into them at family events and they shoot questions like arrows at you in front of random guests. We do love our relatives but if we are happy and our parents are happy, they don’t really have the right to hurt us.”

5. “I Earn More Than My Husband”

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“My husband and I chose different career paths and together we earn enough to sustain our family. However, my salary is higher than his and this bothers our parents. While we both are okay with it, our parents feel that the “man” of the family should earn more and keeps pressurizing him constantly to get a job that pays more. I’ve also heard my mother-in-law tell my husband that I should probably compromise on my career so that he becomes the one who gets paid higher.”

6. “It’s A Struggle To Adjust To A New Culture”

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“I’m a Punjabi and my husband is a Tamilian. It was really difficult to learn the language and a struggle to get along with the family members. There are so many cultural differences between us that for the first few months I was totally clueless and always wanted someone to help me understand things. Now I am slowly beginning to blend in their culture but it’s definitely a lot of hard work.”

7. “They Wanted Me To Have A Baby Soon After The Marriage”

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“If I have chosen a love marriage, it is pretty obvious that I have a mind of my own. My husband and his parents wanted us to have a baby soon after the marriage when I had just gotten promoted at work. I was 26 at the time and could wait for two more years until I had a baby so that I could concentrate on my work. These things were not spoken about before we got married and my husband always felt like someone who would support me. Clearly, I was wrong and I had to convince them for weeks.”

From what we’ve heard so far, most women have had many struggles in their marital lives even if they chose their partner. However, it is also clear that they are happy despite these problems. Did you get married to the love of your life? What were the problems you faced? Share your experiences with us in the comments.

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