When you have been dating someone for quite a while, there comes a time when your friends and well-wishers can no longer stay mute spectators to the on-goings. Well, they have to assume the role of agony aunts & uncles and love gurus, you see! So what if their guidance is totally unsolicited. Advice pours in on what ought to be done and ought not to be. Some go on endlessly about their own experiences. Others exasperatingly list out some suspicious traits of your partner without even having met him/her!
So, what should you do? Well, listen to them but take their words only with a pinch of salt. Not because they don’t mean you good, but perhaps because they are generalizing based on some universal myths. Wondering as to what these ‘dating myths’ could be? Read on to find out!
1. If Sparks Don’t Fly On The First Go, It’s All Over
Well, let’s be honest, life doesn’t play out like the “head over heels” stories in Mills & Boon. Your first date cannot decide the destiny of your relationship. The initial edginess of meeting a new person eases out only with time and understanding. All those who advise you that first impressions make or break a romance are only being too unrealistic. So, give your relationship some time. You never know, two years down the line, you and your partner may have great fun going down the memory lane of how it all went wrong on the first date!
2. Men Are Practical & Women Are Romantic
One of the most often repeated gender stereotypes! Nothing can be farther from reality though. In fact, studies show that in over 70% of the cases, it is men who initiate and fall in love at first sight. It is mostly men who make the first move and are more impulsive in a relationship, whereas a woman’s response is far more guarded and pragmatic. In fact, many experts say women are often cautious, checking how capable their prospective partners are likely to be in a long-term relationship.
3. Women Should Never Initiate
Another stereotypical advice that will come from all corners is that women should not take the initiative of suggesting a date. Well, if your boyfriend is someone who is subscribing to such outdated gender norms, you better rethink your choice, sweetheart! Studies show a majority of men have no problem in accepting the offer of a date from a woman.
So, shun all your inhibitions and make the first move!
4. It Is Essential To Express Your Feelings To Your Love
Psychiatrists and relationship experts say this whole thing about “expressing your feelings,” which is only too overrated and oversold. It’s not like if you love someone, you need to express all your feelings. You may be doing more harm than good in some instances! Moreover, it’s what you do and not just what you say that matters. Your love, care, and sense of responsibility are more important than merely expressing what you feel. Some people are good in deeds and not in reading out paeans of gratitude.
5. You Will Know Your Partner Completely Sooner Or Later
This myth stems from people who claim that after being in a long-term relationship, they know their partner very well. That’s only half the truth. What they don’t tell you is the other person still surprises them in ways they never expected. Spending more time and years with the other person develops a better understanding between two individuals, but it’s not like you will know the other person perfectly well. Haven’t you heard the puzzled husband say, “I thought I knew my wife of 15 years well enough until the other day…”
6. Opposite Personalities Attract Each Other
The cliché that shaped some of the most popular American romcoms is only a myth that holds no logic in reality. It’s not always true that two people have to be diagonally opposite to find each other attractive. People who share similar interests and are likeminded can also have a strong and steady relationship because they get to spend quality time together. Whether it’s travelling or cooking a lovely meal together, it’s so much fun when you have something in common to share and enjoy.
Like any other aspect of life, love and relationships are surrounded by age-old myths. However, you cannot go by these generalisations – because it’s your relationship. Only you will know better what works well and what doesn’t. Just because movies, TV series and pop culture propagate these popular beliefs, it doesn’t mean you have to let them guide your life. Listen to your instincts and try and give yourself some time to settle into the new relationship. Take each day as it comes, and nurture your relationship with love and care.
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