5 Things You Should Never Ever Say To A Single Mother
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Raising a child isn’t easy at all, it’s a difficult feat! And if you have to do it all by yourself, the going only gets tougher with every single day. But we all live in this patriarchal society which refuses to grow out of its orthodox modes of thoughts and practices. It always looks down upon women who single-handedly raise their kids. No matter how great they are at parenting, single mothers are often judged harshly. Statements like “No matter how much she cares for her child, the void is still there because she is a lone parent” are casually thrown in their way by the society. But, honestly, peeps, can’t a mother fulfill the role and duties of a good mommy and a daddy, all by herself? Of course, she can and there are many women out there proving this.
And it’s saddening that despite that we can still see so much of ‘single-mom-shaming’ around us in the society. This act of shaming is often underreported and is an under-discussed phenomenon that deeply affects the confidence of a single mom. This needs to stop and it needs to stop right now, don’t you think?
But the reality is that this change will take its sweet time since it requires a transformation in the way of thinking about single moms. In order to bring about this change, the least we can do is educate people about what to say and tell to single mothers. So, here’s a list of five things that should never say to a single mother. Please read it and keep them in your mind.
1. “Don’t You Think It’s Ideal To Have A Man Around?”
Neither the research analysts, scientists nor the godly gurujis could justify as to why people around us trust and believe in this statement. In fact, let’s be honest, the wrong man in the house can really hamper the peace of the house, right? So, it’s better for a mother to look after her child on her own. We mean, if she is confident enough to raise her child on her own, then why must she bother about a missing man? Maybe, the man is missing because the woman is enough, more than enough, for her child and her world. Therefore, it’s high time we stop questioning the absence of another human of the opposite gender in a single mom’s life.
2. “Won’t You Be Getting Married Again?”
If a mother has chosen to single-handedly look after her kids and herself, don’t you think she’s made that decision after a lot of thinking? We need to support her decision and not question its credibility. A woman can stay unmarried for the rest of her life and still be happy. Yes, it’s possible, and don’t ask why there’s no science behind that. It’s the sheer self-confidence and the willingness of a woman that can help her sail through the odds and keep her child and herself happy. Who knows, maybe they’ve never been this happy in life, and now, they’re loving their ability to make a decision on their own without having to depend on another for it. In fact, figures show that nearly a third of the children in the United States are raised by single mothers (1).
3. “You Must Have Not Chosen Your Man Wisely”
Of course, these might not be the exact words spewed out, but they mean this for sure. There’s an underlying assertion in this statement which yet again means the same thing— that a husband is needed to complete the family. Everybody is different and we’re no gods that we can always make the right decisions in our lives. Chances are that we might end up with people whom we love, but after a few years, they might have run out of love for us. It’s natural, it’s human to be that way. The reason for the woman to be a single mother could be many —death, divorce, unfortunate circumstances, or even her choice. So, now, we’re single and we might have kids too. And we still can continue to live the life we’ve dreamt of with our kids and without a man.
4. “Oh, You’re A Single Mom? I’m So Sorry To Know That”
Whoa! Wait a minute! Why are you feeling sorry? And what for? Just because she is a single mom, you don’t have to be sorry about that. How about complimenting them or appreciating their stance instead? Their face might just light up with the broadest of smiles and they might remember your appreciation for the rest of their lives. By saying sorry to them, you’re showing that you pity them. Instead, appreciate them, it will make them stronger.
5. “You Pose A Threat To Married Couples”
She is a single mom because she is capable of being an independent, strong woman. Why on earth would a single mom eye another woman’s husband? It’s the gravest of all the misconceptions that society harbors towards single moms. She is single because she doesn’t need a man ever, geddit? One should refrain from making insensitive and baseless assumptions like this!
Single moms put in a lot of effort into looking after their children, in fact, they work doubly hard. They look after the diapers, breakfast cereal, iron the uniforms, and of course, pay the bills too. So let’s promise each other here, next time we come across a single mother, we will appreciate her and let her know she is doing wonderfully well on her own.
