7 Things Parents Should Tell Daughters Before They Get Married
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Marriage isn’t an easy choice to make. It’s often difficult for parents to let go of their daughters when the day finally arrives. While many would argue that the daughter is not leaving forever, in her parents eyes, she is leaving from the home that is theirs. For parents, it is so difficult to let go of their daughters. And this is not just in a country like India, but world over. Many times when women get married, they lose a part of their identity and then start to change themselves to mould into their partner’s family. Since there’s a tonne of advice coming from all sorts of sources, how does one decide what to follow? Here are seven things parents should reassure their daughter off before she decides to tie the knot:
1. Self-Respect Is A Must
This might seem like a silly thing to say since most of us have a certain modicum of self-respect. However, this advice is crucial because we often tend to put our feelings and emotions after those of our loved ones. This would mean that she should not compromise on two things, her dignity and core values. Although, parents should teach their daughters this from the get-go. This becomes an essential lesson that will be especially useful around the time your daughter decides to get married. She will slowly realize that if she respects herself enough, she shall earn the respect of her in-laws as well.
2. Financial Independence
Financial independence is something nobody should have to compromise on. Even if your daughter chooses to not work after marriage, she needs to be financially smart and keep aside some savings for a rainy day. Considering we’re living in the 21st century, it’s a smart idea for both spouses to work as this would help the family live comfortably and even independent of in-laws or their parents. In the long run, your daughter’s financial independence will come in handy if there is ever a time her partner is unable to work or falls sick. Even if she doesn’t work full time or works from home or part-time, it would make a world of difference. As they say, a little goes a long way.
3. Zero Tolerance For Physical And Mental Abuse
A lot of the times, many women/men put up with physically and emotionally abusive marriages for the sake of society, kids or due to parental pressure. However, none of these should factor into the picture if a spouse decides to leave from an abusive relationship with their partner. In the end, even if kids are involved, they would be thankful to their parent for rescuing them from an abusive household. Walking away from an abusive marriage isn’t something to be embarrassed about. In fact, it’s something that should be commended and parental support during these times is an absolute must. As parents, you must create a trusting atmosphere so that your daughter can come forward and talk about important issues like these freely.
4. Don’t Stop Spending Time With Friends
A person’s friends are the closest they can call a family. While the new roles and responsibilities of married life can take a toll on someone’s personal time, it is essential not to put friends aside. Not spending time with friends will lead to a person feeling isolated and like they have nobody to talk to. It would be best if you told your daughter that there is nothing wrong with having a big group of friends. So many popular T.V. shows like Girls, How I Met Your Mother, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and S.A.T.C. focus on the benefits of having a close-knit friend circle when you’re older. Moreso, it would also be an excellent idea for the couple to meet each other’s friends and spend time chilling with them.
5. Say No To Being A Martyr
We regularly observe that our moms and sisters have this habit of throwing themselves in harm’s way to keep the peace. A significant number of young women become captive to this and start trusting it as an example to follow, and there is no break from it. The example is rehashed when the equivalent is pushed onto their daughters while setting them up for the foundation of marriage. The cycle should be discontinued.
6. You’re Never Alone
It’s important to let your daughter know that she will never be alone when you’re around. It’s important to tell her that despite the changes, she will still be your daughter and that you’ll be there for her no matter the odds.
7. Treat Your In-Laws The Way You Treat Us
Most daughters have powerful bonds with their mothers. That is fabulous. In any case, if she’s coming to you grumbling about her future parents in law, or by and large being impolite of them, that should be halted. It’s one thing if she has a significant issue with her parents-in-law and is coming to you for an alternate point of view, however, if you’re enabling her to put down or act with hatred towards her parents in law, you are the problem.
Do you agree with our list? Other than these seven pieces of wisdom, what is the number one advice you would give your daughter if she’s getting married? Let us know all your thoughts in the comments below.
